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#16115 - 10/26/13 02:19 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Mary]
crocodile Offline
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Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
I fortunately don't have experiences in my own family but in my Psychopath's family there was a child molester (I believe that's where he got his psychopathic tendencies from as it is at least partly genetic) - the guy molested first his daughters and then the next generation and led to one of the girls almost succeeding in a suicide. But I don't know to what extend is this story really true and my Psychopath didn't seem to be interested in children or even adolescent girls as much as I can tell. I think psychopathy and pedophilia are separate issues and it only becomes a problem if the guy is both at the same time or he can't get the hold of what he desires and goes for an easy target: a child.

I'm sorry I don't have a better answer but I guess everything is possible, they don't even have to be attracted to you to use you as a sexual object just for fun:(.

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#16116 - 10/26/13 08:34 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: crocodile]
Dianne E. Offline

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Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Mary, welcome to our community. In response to your question I can only speak from observations here at the forum. We have some members who are children of Psychopaths. I am working from my memory, and it seems to me that I would conclude that it is highly likely they would molest children. When a person/evil being is missing their conscience I think all things are possible and probable.

The software works so if you click on a members name all of their posts will appear.

Di

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#16118 - 10/28/13 08:39 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Dianne E.]
toomuchstuff Offline
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Registered: 09/30/13
Posts: 38
Originally Posted By: Dianne E.
Hi Mary....I would conclude that it is highly likely they would molest children. When a person/evil being is missing their conscience I think all things are possible and probable.

The software works so if you click on a members name all of their posts will appear.

Di

I would agree, I have some sexual issues in my history that I shared with my Psychopath. In response instead of being sensitive to my discomfort, he molested me while I slept and managed to re-enact a lot of traumatic experiences for me. To top it all off, he blamed me for not enjoying his behavior-He said -I- had issues...I watched him have a conversation with a woman in her 20's who looked like a small child the way he talked to her made me ill...


Edited by toomuchstuff (10/28/13 08:40 PM)

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#16119 - 10/30/13 05:15 AM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Mary]
AnnettePK Offline
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Registered: 10/05/13
Posts: 1
My ex Psychopath did child porn. In my view, all pedophiles are psychopaths, not all psychopaths are pedophiles. But any psychopath would choose pedophilia if it fed his addictions to power and sadism.

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#16120 - 10/30/13 11:15 AM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Mary]
daddysproblem Offline
member

Registered: 06/23/11
Posts: 99
Well Mary... I am the daughter of a Psychopath and have an older sister who at one time claimed that my dad sexually abused her - i say claim because personally i don't think so, she has no memory of actual events, instead it's a general sensation of maybe fear?. So, this is my thoughts on the matter.

I'm doubtful there is a correlation. Pedophilia is uncommon - ie being sexually aroused by children. If there is a higher reported incidence of sexual abuse among the Psychopath population, I would venture to guess that this is something that would not get overlooked, and would immediately be reported. The non physical abuses are so far under the radar.

My abuse was not - was never physical - but I am definitely damaged. They are not human. What your children experience around him is a cause for tension. Because they are not allowed to be themselves... they must always protect his ego... it's all about him..and that is so unnatural and harmful. He was the king. He was God. (when people ask me where I want to go to eat for a treat for me.. i don't know.. we were never allowed to be ourselves or want for ourselves.. - "you're selfish!" was a common assault)

Once - my dad spanked my bare butt when i was too old for that type of punishment - this is when i started being a problem adolescent. But i don't and didn't view it as sexual, he was humiliating me... demeaning... he was trying to break me. As he had done with my elder siblings. He could never break me.... we had a relationship like sparing partners. I KNEW him.. and he didn't trust me or get great benefit from me... Sam Vaknin calls it narcissistic supply.. he rarely got that from me. Praise the universe for that!

It's always about power with them. And depending on their temperament - personality - upbringing - that dictates how they will play it out. If they enjoy seeing blood or killing someone, nothing would stop them. But most of them don't - they just swim along in society.. happy little fish. Gorgeous - Lovely - Beautiful fish.

This does not mean I don't think it is possible that he sexually abused my sister. It's totally possible - because he doesn't have that conscience to stop him.. But - he did have an external persona in the community that was extremely important to him. I say this all the time when i write about him.. EVERYONE loved him. Very personable and funny and hard working... and responsible...ethical... And his family - we were picture perfect. Smiles everywhere.

Footnote about my sister, after her "discovery" and subsequent "announcement" of his sexual abuse.. she stayed away from him for 18 years... But then - came crawling back. It makes me nearly vomit. She's older now.. and suffers from delusions.. and who did she run too? HIM

He really f'd us all.. one way or another. I'm just grateful for my ability to SEE him.

Seriously.. do whatever you can to eliminate him from your children's life. In my opinion, sexual abuse is nothing compared to the debilitating emotional abuse these people force on their children.

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#16135 - 11/04/13 12:58 AM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Mary]
newbeginnings Offline
member

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 6
My ex Psychopath left with no notice - a five minute warning after 7 years together. Afterwards I discovered that he was a hard core BDSM Dom with a hard drive full of movies of torture of women ( blindfolded, gagged, anonymous, shackled victims ) and extreme sadism and infliction of pain to their breasts and genitals. It has left me with a lot of fear and trauma to deal with it all. No Contact has helped with it.

I then found that he had also been grooming the 12 year old daughter of my friend - apparently with the idea of creating a pain slut sex slave because she was depressed and cutting herself. He did this for two years before he left. You can imagine the damage it has caused.....

Finally his adult adopted niece who they raised as a daughter from when she was seven, who has remained very close to me while shutting him out of her life to protect her and her own daughters, admitted he had asked her to masturbate him when she was 10. Luckily she was able to refuse but never felt able to tell anyone or feel safe with him again. Her birth father has done jail time for paedophilia....

Despite a mountain of evidence he has escaped with no actual arrest - but he is being watched by the police.

From what I can tell, his father and grandfather were both abusive men. When he was a teenager, the father shot his own father and hid the body and acted as if nothing had happened - a sure sign of no remorse or guilt.

I have read this thread with interest - I can relate to so much of it. I think the concept of their using people to masturbate too sums up mine - yes, it was all on in the beginning of course, but before long I was playing the role of housekeeper and breadwinner... he got his real thrills elsewhere.

It seems he feels he can have power and control and torture any one he sets his sights on - woman or girl and have no conscience about it. While hiding as a friendly funny intelligent victim.

I take some pleasure int he fact that I have thwarted and exposed him for the Narcissistic Psychopath that he is.
When you combine that with being a sadist, you get Ted Bundy and Fred West, so I am also relieved to still be here!

He sent a letter to his family after he left me - he defended his actions by saying that he chose me because I was so like his wife who died. He says when you lose a pet, a new one will distract you, so he chose a new mother for his 35 yr old daughter, and that he was never in love with me!

They really don't understand human emotions - he cared enough to want to stop his daughter hurting, but couldn't understand how inappropriate it was to manipulate me. Still, I did actually gain a lovely family that I adore and he lost it all.

I learned a lot and the pain will pass. I will respect myself and survive.

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#16137 - 11/04/13 12:36 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: newbeginnings]
crocodile Offline
member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
Originally Posted By: newbeginnings
I think the concept of their using people to masturbate too sums up mine - yes, it was all on in the beginning of course, but before long I was playing the role of housekeeper and breadwinner... he got his real thrills elsewhere.

You're spot on - now I realised that in addition to the sex with my Psychopath being basically like porn it was also a lot about him masturbating. I sometimes had a feeling that I'm there mostly to look at as a stimulation and not a person he wants to be close to. That actually fits to the extreme narcissist they are: for a Psychopath even sex is the best with himself...
Originally Posted By: newbeginnings
He sent a letter to his family after he left me - he defended his actions by saying that he chose me because I was so like his wife who died. He says when you lose a pet, a new one will distract you, so he chose a new mother for his 35 yr old daughter, and that he was never in love with me!

Mine said so about a GF he was with for 7 yrs (of course cheating on her constantly during that time). All of a sudden it was "I have never loved her, I just tried to be with someone normal and ordinary". I remember how bad I felt for her at the time and I even told him he's a asshole for being with her all that time while he didn't love her and didn't care, basically lying all the time. Well, apparently he cannot love anyone at all and this is must sound like a great excuse for a Psychopath - they obviously don't realise that to a normal person it sounds like saying "I'm a lying douchebag".

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#16140 - 11/04/13 10:54 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: crocodile]
newbeginnings Offline
member

Registered: 02/26/13
Posts: 6
Scary really - hindsight makes it all so clear. I freely admit I was naive, and missed the flags/signs - those I did see didn't ring loud enough bells - or i was able to justify them in some way. Lying to myself.
NEVER AGAIN

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#16141 - 11/06/13 08:23 AM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: newbeginnings]
toomuchstuff Offline
member

Registered: 09/30/13
Posts: 38
...... I think the concept of their using people to masturbate too sums up mine....
I think it sums up all of them, and not just sexually, they engage in mental masturbation as well. They the Psychopaths are thrill seekers who are easily bored and have the emotional depth of a mud puddle-here today gone tomorrow...b As long as it's fun they engage. throw in some responsibility and off they go. I met one a couple of days ago and already he wants me to commit my time to him. I have a small vintage business and he offered his storage unit to me. --But --he started the negotiation complimenting my teeth told me it was important to him his women had good teeth... (made me wonder if he keeps them in a jar.)I believe he is a Psychopath......ewwwww

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#16201 - 01/06/14 01:47 PM Re: Sex and the psychopath [Re: Mary]
Stephanie Offline
member

Registered: 04/04/10
Posts: 47
My step father was a psychopath and a child molester. My ex boy friend was also a psychopath and I believe he molested his daughters when they were very young as well. Most of them are sex addicts so they sexualize everything. My ex boyfriend made some comment about child abuse and the control the abusers get off on. I know he would never want to be caught as being one though so I think he stopped as they got older. As where my step father did not. He left when I was in fifth grade though. With out a conscience I think they will try to get away with whatever they can. It's normal to block out the memories of abuse as a child though. Your daughter sounds to be a lot like I was.
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