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#12533 - 01/16/12 11:35 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: psychoabused]
skyela Offline
member

Registered: 01/15/12
Posts: 5
Hi, I am very new to this. My apologies for butting in.



Edited by skyela (01/17/12 04:02 PM)
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skyela

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#13050 - 04/14/12 01:43 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: Dianne E.]
the_maenad Offline
member

Registered: 04/13/12
Posts: 6
I have a hard time coping. frown I feel like I am the obsessive type. I have been trying to 'distract' myself but it all leads back to him, wondering what he is doing, who he is going to lure in next.

I had an ultrasound done last week and I was thinking of sending him a photo. Magical thinking. He cut me out so easily after I left, he would probably just tear up the photograph. As someone who is extremely emotional, I can't understand how he would be able to do this, especially since I am pregnant.

Also: is it normal to feel like you are the psychopath sometimes? I think of our past a lot lately, and he just drove me so hysterically crazy, I would do horrible things like threaten him if he didn't leave me alone. When he cut me out of his life, I was so furious, I spoke a lot of words in anger. I am doubting myself constantly.

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#13065 - 04/15/12 11:30 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: the_maenad]
FriedaB Offline
member

Registered: 10/24/11
Posts: 63
Im really sorry to hear what you've been through! These people are remorseless animals. It makes me sick thinking mine is out victimizing someone else...
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#13072 - 04/16/12 10:58 AM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: FriedaB]
becky Offline
member

Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 86
I have a question? Does the no contact rule apply to total rage?!...Like running him over a couple of times ?!...Oh how I would love to.....does that count!.... I can't even express my hatred towards the things he did to me....it's so aggravating!...to say the least....I want to ....well you know.

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#13073 - 04/16/12 12:17 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: becky]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Becky, I think it is perfectly normal to have such thoughts as long as they aren't acted out. The downside if acted out is that you might be the one behind bars.

Talk about it here and that is a good way to get it off your chest. In the end negative thoughts can effect you but it can be a good way to let off steam; )

Di

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#13074 - 04/16/12 03:51 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: FriedaB]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
menaed, what you are going through is totally normal!! Evrrything you wrote I was going through, word by word!

You are human, you think and act like human. This is human! What they do is robot-like. Un-human.

You may feel like a psychopath as well. His goal is to make you feel like one, and make you look like one. These people are gonna do anything, literally anything to hurt you. It may not always be on purpose, but thats even more to fear. Cut everything that attaches you to him. I know its too hard to think about it right now - but try with anything. Something small, maybe, a photo, a gift anything. Just throw it out thinking you're throwing it out of your mind. And force yourself to never think of it again.

What I've done (and still do) and found very helpful was something I called "overwrite". Anytime I went to places that reminded me of him (no matter if good or bad memories) - I tried to scan the place and make a memory of sth new that happened there. Like just today - I am in a new city, and met with a friend, and we met at this well known place, and when I got there, I got upset and really sad for a moment, because I saw just this one bank that we (me and the Psychopath) sat on this one time... But then I realized, this is MY place, this is MY spot. Im not gonna let him here anymore. So I looked around to find my friend and there she was. And from now on, its not a place where me and the Psychopath would sit that one time. It is the place where I met with my friend, and thats how Im gonna remember it!

Of course, you have a child. Thats tough. I cannot even begin to try and understand how you must feel about it. But I would recommend trying to think of it as YOUR child. Your, and thats it.

If you try hard enough, beautiful things will happen to you. I am living proof!
You can handle it! And whenever you feel like you cant, we're here for you!

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#13679 - 08/08/12 05:44 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: sylvie25]
dav Offline
member

Registered: 08/05/12
Posts: 1
I am new to this site and sorry to know that so meny people lives have been destroyed or damaged by a Psychopath. My life has been destroyed complety.I have been trying to cope for three years. So far, for me anyway is to take one day at a time and to read as much as I can. I read or lissen to others as well. See friends. Depending on the Psychopath most people have a diffrent story. If it would help to say that "The Psychopath will never walk in the Kindom of Heaven"

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#13859 - 09/19/12 09:38 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: the_maenad]
Dan1982 Offline
member

Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 3

I think that is what hurts us victims of psychopaths the most. Beyond how we have been deceived, abused and even psychologically tortured by these people... we feel like undeserving citizens when we start to feel homicidal, like we are bad people for wanting the pain to stop, wanting the psychopaths to stop hurting us.

Just remember, it is perfectly healthy to have these thoughts under the right circumstance, we are merely trying to cope with a self defence mechanism, as long as we do not act upon it (turn the thought into action) then we are not endangering ourselves or other people. In reality the terrible thoughts of hurting that person (the psychopath) is your subconscious effort through the self defence mechanism of violence methods to end the conflict.

If only they'd just stop when we say so, we would not need to lower ourselves to that level.

These 'people', these psychopaths, will one day understand what real pain is, and I hope they suffer for a long time, before they have a chance to have what they deprived us of for so so long.

A normal and healthy life before we one day cease to exist, before we die.

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#13860 - 09/19/12 09:42 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: dav]
Dan1982 Offline
member

Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 3
A'men, the psychopath will never walk in the kingdom of heaven.
I will sacrifice my own life, to make sure each and everyone of them will be walking into hell.

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#13923 - 10/07/12 05:03 PM Re: Coping Suggestions [Re: mindy]
lola Offline
member

Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 5
Hi
Iv been on here days now reading everything and i just want to tell you how i love this post of yours..I let my Psychopath go 4 days ago now...Everything made sense when i realised WHAT i was dealing with...I let go...stopped fighting...and realised my closure would take time and would come from me and only me beacause he could not comprehend or feel such closure..Closure is simply a process that will take time and everyone differs from the time scale. Mine began when i realised firstly that he never loved me, he never would, because he was totally incapable..His rejection became my obession because the dream had gone and i so wanted him to love me...After all i truely beleived he did..so where did it all go ??? surely i could get it back??? when you realise it was all crap, a fairytale they put in our heads and of course THE SEX...This isnt mentioned alot on here but sex for them is a massive weapon of destruction..My Psychopath used to make me shake and shiver in absolute joy..Sex with him was amazing...I thought it was for him too until i found out how often he used prostitutes...that was a real killer..it nearly destroyed me...But it didnt...Im out..im aware...and i need to stay on here and stay strong and beleive what a truely amazing woman i am...because i am which is something he missed.........his loss eh ????
xxx

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