Hello, all. I'm glad I found this site. Like many of you, I became enamored with a Psychopath. A socialized Psychopath. This person was charming, witty, funny, smart, romantic in unusually creative ways, unpredictable (which became a real problem), and, I thought at the time, exciting. When I met this person, I thought him different from anyone I had ever known. At the time, he was a learjet flight instructor who spoke of exciting hobbies such as scuba diving, and flying aerobatics, and cross country motorcycle trips. He impressed me (tried to)with some of the important names he dropped; names of people he had reportedly met through various associations and partied with.

During our dating period, we would fly in one of the company lear jets to Florida, spending weekends together in Key West. How blind I was to his lies, his angry outbursts and his then occasional verbal abuse. Strangely enough, at least one of his fellow coworkers tried to warn me about him, but I dismissed him and his warning, telling this person that he didn't know what he was talking about! I married the monster in Jan of 1993, after dating for almost 2 years.

During this time, the monster moved into my house, got fired from his job (after we were married for 6 months - mostly for punching me in the face in the presence of 2 coworkers and for constantly causing trouble at his place of work).

The monster sponged off me for the next 2 years, remaining unemployed or employed only in jobs that made him feel important or that would get him noticed. Some of these jobs held risk - flying experimental airplanes in airshows, performing aerobatics in gliders - things he had little or no prior experience in, but managed to convince and impress others to hire him to do with his glowing verbal reports of his accomplishments and his fabricated resumes. Many of these jobs paid minimum wage, and he was inevitably fired from each and every one for his abusiveness, his deceptiveness, or his bad behavior. He never once contributed to the good of the household or paid rent, and, by the time we were divorced in 2004, he had been fired from 13 jobs. 13 jobs in 11 years.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't realize the totality of my mistake in marrying the monster until the 3rd day of our marriage: it was around 2:00am and he thought I was asleep in the bedroom. He was on the phone in the den with a woman who, it turned out, was a romantic interest from prior years. When he closed the door in the den to continue his chat when I came in and surprised him. I, of course, was in the wrong and he hurled one curse after the other at me. The marriage would continue to deteriorate from that day forward. The abuse came often and when I least expected it, and I found myself apologizing profusely for doing whatever it was that I did that caused the abuse. I found myself feeling like a doormat, a poor, pitiful begger at the monster's mercy, constantly walking on eggshells so as not to anger the monster. I usually kept the peace by not asking questions (time and again, he told me that I wasn't worth having him repeat whatever it was that I misunderstood the first time around) and by trying to do anything that I thought might make him happy. The monster became secretive, making and answering his phone calls in the garage, and coming and going without notice or warning. He became unpredictable, something that he uses to this day to keep me off-balance. It is just one of the monster's methods of control over my life and that of our now 12-year old daughter.

There is so much more I could tell of this story, and I will tell more of it over time. I will tell you that it took me about 2 years after the birth of our daughter to realize that it was HE, the monster, who had the problem. It wasn't me! The day I came to this huge realization was the day my fight for freedom from the monster began. I would no longer accept his lies or accusations of things I had not done or said. His abusiveness increased as my realization of his true character materialized.

I've been divorced from the monster for 3 years now. It took me 6 years from the time the monster abandoned me to gain my final divorce from him, but I am still fighting the monster.

I am bankrupt from lawyers fees, but will be returning to court soon to battle once again to gain a little more freedom for myself and my daughter...freedom from the monster's control. He's now sponging off of another woman. She hasn't yet seen the horrible truth of the monster and, like the few women before me, her day is coming.

Hi PATWGFA, welcome to the forum, glad you found us. Your story sounds oh so familiar. It does indeed sound like something out of a B movie.

Does he ever visit with your daughter or is she also wise to him? If you get into a tough battle over visitations, which I suspect Psychopaths would only do to put on the "appearance" of a good father to the new victim I would fight tooth and nail. I think in most states by the time a child is your daughters age they get to make the choice, not sure.

You mentioned court, is this over custody, if it is to try and get any $ from him I would consider that a waste of time. It is sad to say but the new woman will take some of the heat off of you.

From what you mentioned it sounds like he had a few other women on the hook while married?

What you said about the co worker trying to warn you has always been my personal opinion that warning the next victim is a road not worth going down. Once a Psychopath has cast their spell on the new victim they have their ways of being able to blame you.

Psychopaths are the best victims in the world (in their eyes of course) and at the same time victimizing others.