Page 7 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >
Topic Options
#14312 - 02/21/13 11:55 AM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: NotCrzy]
FreeBird Offline
member

Registered: 08/24/11
Posts: 230
Totally agree. My Psychopaths used to say "im afrair that i might loose you". I didnt understand it then coz it madeno sense given the situations but now it makes perfect sense. They dont really fear like we do but they can understand they might loose control. And thats it.

Top
#14676 - 04/03/13 05:53 PM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: 15percent]
overcome Offline
member

Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 8
My understanding on the matter is that the word fear does no apply to psychopaths in any way.

What they "feel" is a strong and irresistible need of control. They need to know they have and can do whatever they want with you, they take pleasure from it, from controling and hurting people with their manipulation.

What also happens to psychopaths is that this inability to feel emotions like a normal human being drives them to search for another source of fulfillment and thatīs what makes them hurt, deceit, manipulate, steal, rape, kill and no matter how many times they have done it already they will continue to do it for being a psychopath is to be trapped 24/7 in a state of boredom they cannot bare.

But one can ask why canīt they turn to do good things. The answer is really simple. Doing good things comes out of good feelings and they are completely empty inside, a mere shell of a human being which leads to definitions like a person without a soul, a monster, an animal...

But still why bad things? why not fix a car? paint a house? it doesnīt take good feelings to do it. well, the state of boredom a mentioned can suit us all from time to time, so we look for things to do so you can paint your house, fix your car, whatever, but eventually you stop being bored, they donīt.

In short, what they really look for is something that would give them pleasure and what gives them pleasure is to hurt, deceit... aaand what i didnīt say but itīs the most important, their whole behavior is not complete if they canīt get away with it thatīs when they can turn dangerous because their frustration makes them react quick and violent.
One last thing. Even if a psychopath is caught doing something wrong theyīll never admit it, they will always try to blame someone else and in most cases their victims.

Sorry if someone else already wrote all of this. I just needed to get it out.

Top
#14677 - 04/03/13 06:08 PM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: overcome]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi overcome, welcome to our community.

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I totally agree I think the only fear they may display would be the fear of being caught, but even then not sure how to describe it, but it is much different from how we would process fear.

Quote:
But one can ask why canīt they turn to do good things. The answer is really simple. Doing good things comes out of good feelings and they are completely empty inside, a mere shell of a human being which leads to definitions like a person without a soul, a monster, an animal...


It is good that you are able to articulate what they really are. How long has it been since you have had contact with her?

Quote:
Even if a psychopath is caught doing something wrong theyīll never admit it, they will always try to blame someone else and in most cases their victims.


This is the heart of the matter, imo, the part that makes it so much harder for some to understand because in the mind of a Psychopath they are the biggest victim in the world while in fact they are victimizing others in the worst way possible.

That is why they are able to attract and lure in kind and nurturing people when they present themselves as the victim of their lives.

Di

Top
#14696 - 04/04/13 12:53 PM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: Dianne E.]
overcome Offline
member

Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 8
Hi Dianne.

Thanks for taking your time to read.

Quote:
This is the heart of the matter, imo, the part that makes it so much harder for some to understand because in the mind of a Psychopath they are the biggest victim in the world while in fact they are victimizing others in the worst way possible.


Its true they victimize others in the worst way possible, as you said. But just to be clear, and i dont know if thatīs what you meant, they dont consider themselves victims, instead they make you believe they are usually with a sad story of their past so people would feel sorry for them and once you start feeling sorry you empathize and so they use this empathy to get closer and closer to you and we all know what happens when they achieve their goal.

Quote:
It is good that you are able to articulate what they really are. How long has it been since you have had contact with her?


The last contact (which i regret) was in january. I was robbed at gunpoint and she ended up finding out about it and e-mailed me to know how i was and i answered saying i was ok. Although being a brief and cold message we can never fall for the temptation to attempt any contact with them for in their minds they see it as a sign of weakness and a chance to manipulate again. Lucky for me she didnīt try anything after that. But january aside the last contact was about 8 or 9 months ago.

Top
#14698 - 04/04/13 02:13 PM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: overcome]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi overcome, agreed, I don't think they are ever victims in reality as we would define it, just in their minds and how they express themselves to garner sympathy. I can't tell what is really in their minds, perhaps they do see themselves as victims, however that doesn't add up to what we see as what a victim is.

I am glad you have had your space and sorry about the robbing incident. I am sure it must have been a very horrific experience.

I assume you didn't have children with her?

Di

Top
#14708 - 04/05/13 12:08 PM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: Dianne E.]
overcome Offline
member

Registered: 04/02/13
Posts: 8
Hi Dianne,
How are you today?

Quote:
I am glad you have had your space and sorry about the robbing incident. I am sure it must have been a very horrific experience.


Time has been a great friend as it wasnīt for a long time mostly because of my refusal to seek treatment. It took me drowning myself into alcohol and self agression to realize that but now iīm doing ok.
The robbing was really traumatic. I was tied up to six more people and thrown into a abandoned land near the beach, really feared for my life and after all i had been trough the experience just made me even bitter and angrier but iīm glad i left that behind.

Quote:
I assume you didn't have children with her?


We couldīve had but she aborted our child before it had a chance to be born which i only found out after the divorce because her mother told me, otherwise i would never know. My family says it was better that way and i know she would use the baby against me but that really hurted. I wanted so much to be a father and i know i will someday but sometimes i get myself thinking of how my child would be like if he/she had been born, almost a year old now. Anyway, that doesnīt make sad anymore it turned into just one more hollow memory of what was left behind. Do you feel like that too? About memories?

Thanks for your support.

By the way, iīm not from the United States and i donīt even know if this forum is but i always watched about support groups on Tv and tried to find one that would fit my case, luckly i found this one. It has been of great help to read about what everyone has been through and how they are fighting to get back to what they once were, good people, happy people. It all fuels me to keep going. In the end, iīm 100% sure that no matter the time we all will heal, will truly love and trust again. I look at this monitor and canīt stop to think about how strong we are. I feel great just writing about it.

Thanks again.


Edited by overcome (04/05/13 05:37 PM)

Top
#14714 - 04/06/13 08:01 AM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: 15percent]
getaway Offline
member

Registered: 12/15/12
Posts: 6
I never saw any fear when living with the psychopath, but he made out he was fearful of the authorities catching up with him....even faked a breakdown which was a little amusing since he copied all my actions from an incident where he had pushed me to my limit.
I never did get around to telling him that that is most likely not how a guy would carry on in those circumstances.

They like to rule by fear of one kind or another though! You find yourself changing your daily routines ....all in fear of upsetting them...you get programmed so covertly to do things their way to avoid the reprisals be it an argument, punishment of some kind.

Top
#14836 - 04/17/13 10:34 AM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: daddysproblem]
daddysproblem Offline
member

Registered: 06/23/11
Posts: 99
Well, I have returned to the site... It happened again. It seems that my friend is nearly identical to my daddy. Not on the outside, on the inside.

This led me back to what they feel.

The thing is, they don't feel empathy. Their actions or lifestyles, their facades, are as diverse as their upbringings.

I think the harm they cause is more an expression of their level of disinterest as opposed to them trying to hurt someone. Even the worst of them, the killers, I don't think they do it to hurt the person, they do it because they enjoy the act. Like popping bubble wrap.. why do we do it? I don't know, it's just fun.

For a psychopath, other people require no emotional exchange.. people are just objects.

You can't determine their feelings or motives by their outside actions. They are experts at deception. Because they are deceived by themselves. They don't see themselves. I've read they think everyone is like them.

I finally confronted my friend.. again... for the 100th time.. (yes, apparently i'm a very slow learner) and he commented (i was angry because he didn't stick up for me) that i just have a thin skin, that he himself is thick skinned. The truth is that it's the other way around. Everything he does is to have others like him - and they do - he is the NICEST guy. In public, he gives the big tip, offers to carry your packages, help you move, bring you food, sad face when you tell him something sad, happy face when you tell him something good. on and on.. but behind closed doors.. he doesn't. I started noticing that sometimes in public he would forget these social displays of his wonderfulness, like maybe helping with groceries... and then it would click... i'd see the lightbulb go on.. ooops, this doesn't look good, me - big guy - empty handed, her - small woman - 3 bags, then he offers to carry something. Same with emotional issues.. he didn't stick up for me when our neighbors dog tried to attack me... complete blank expression... so detached from the experience... so not normal... i told him that dog scares me.. and he said, yes, i can see that. But he does nothing. He looks, does nothing, and goes home. (creepy..)

so, do they feel fear? they have such a different experience with 'feelings' than we do. They must feel something, because they respond. But they don't care about others. I think they feel fear.. not fear for someone else, fear for themselves. But they might be unlikely to understand when they are in danger. Because they don't really understand what someone else is feeling? This is a tough one because they are so emotionally dishonest. That's why they lie, because they really have no connection with others, others just end up being manipulated. Not intentionally, instinctively. They have TO offer, not that they WON'T offer it. It's not a choice.

It's like trying to train a dog that is not food or praise motivated.. what do you do?

Psychopaths are not even animals, they are so anti-social, inside.. that you can't really read them.

Top
#14837 - 04/17/13 10:40 AM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: daddysproblem]
daddysproblem Offline
member

Registered: 06/23/11
Posts: 99
No matter what - they want to get their way. They will do what they can to get their way. They won't have any ethics about it. Because they don't care about others. No empathy, no compassion, no remorse..

So - their actions are just them trying to get what they want. How ever they have LEARNED by their upbringing and environment to accomplish that.

So we (experts and victims) keep pointing to 'actions' to determine the psychopath. That is so very simplistic.

Some people do nice things because they truly care, and others do it to manipulate peoples feelings about them.

How can anyone but someone who is intimate with these people know which is which?

Top
#14839 - 04/17/13 11:11 AM Re: Do Psychopaths feel FEAR? [Re: daddysproblem]
Nan Offline
member

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 501
Originally Posted By: daddysproblem

[…]

Some people do nice things because they truly care, and others do it to manipulate peoples feelings about them.

How can anyone but someone who is intimate with these people know which is which?


Thank you, Daddysproblem, that's a very good question. Let me think on it for a bit ;-)

Nan

Top
Page 7 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >

Moderator:  Dianne E.