Breggan-

Thank you for recommending this book! I spent three hours in Borders tonight reading and knew I had to buy it and read it thoroughly and carefully. The victim so described me.

This P spent almost four years laying a foundation of "friendship" to totally and immediately reject me. I was in a paralayzed and traumatized state for several years. I know I tried to explain to some of my earlier counselors how I felt and what had happened but nobody could explain to me what had happened or what I was dealing with.

I even tried unsuccessfully to get out many times. One time we weren't together for a whole year. This last time it was about twenty months (almost two years). Yes, he would start again. The book explains why I couldn't leave.

I am so relieved to find another piece of the puzzle. This is unbelievably complex. It is scary how they are able to hook us. Do they know that's what they are going to do? Is part of the plan when they target us the conscience throught to destroy to us once they get us? I mean is that the whole point?

My mind so recoils at that but based on my last encounter with him, it seems like that is so.

It just doesn't make any sense. It is so crazy.

I continue to be GRATEFUL for the knowledge I'm gaining. It is getting late but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated recommending that book. I'm going to read it carefully this next week but just speed reading it was so, so, so supportive.

Thank you. . .
finished

>It just doesn't make any sense. It is so crazy.<

It spins your mind around in circles trying to make sense of it. Even once you find out what it is about, it is so difficult for your brain to grasp. Trying to make sense out of nonsense. In my opinion I am convinced it is done quite deliberately, so they are in total control and have power over you.

Bradshaw writes about alcoholics, that they don't have relationships, they take hostages. I think it could be said the same of Psychopaths.

Betrayed

Hi Betrayed-

I've missed you!

I woke up this morning thinking about this. Yes. . .it is as you say. . .it makes your brain spin in circles trying to make sense of it.

Even though it was a relief to understand what I have been dealing with, after reading that book it made things clear but then it raised all those other questions. This seems to be a deeper level of destruction (not just about getting a narcissistic supply fix cut off) but a calculated plan to own or destroy anothers soul.

As I write this, I believe you are right. It IS a cold, calculated act on thier part. It is about destruction and any kind will do. It comes from that deep envy inside of them. That book was quite sobering.

Hope all is well with you ((((Betrayed)))), I've missed you. . .

finished

Hi (((Finished))) I missed you, too.

I can't wait to get that book Stalking the Soul. I might even go out and buy it new. LOL

P's are like this entwined braided rope of love and hate.


The thought of Michael Jackson has been crossing my mind this week. I keep seeing him do that moon walk dance, where it appears that he is walking forwards, but actually moving backwards. Such an illusion. So similar to a Psychopaths way. It appears that they are doing one thing, but actually are doing the exact opposite. This was the MO all the way through for the P that targeted me. No wonder I was confused.

Betrayed.

Ps. I quite enjoyed the book Schizophrenia and the Need Fear Dilemma by Burnham. The dynamics seemed the same as the P. The need, the fear,terror of intimacy, the narcism ( Spell-Check), the separation anxiety, the paranoia, the indirect communication.

When I first met the P , he had a thick French accent and knew some English, but not a lot. Many times, I thought, oh he can't possibly mean that, he is just having problems with his English, or I attributed his behavior to being in a different culture and far from home ( Quebec ). He told one staff person, in French, that he could not understand a word I said. He never had problems understanding anyone else. Towards the end,after 2 years of knowing him and his English being terrific, I remember saying to him, we have a communication problem. Little did I realize at the time, everything from the beginning were subtle common abuse techniques. Pretending to not understand, making me explain, explain and explain myself. No one else I know has problems understanding me. I have had many friends, who recently arrived in this country and had a different language, and they always complemented me on speaking clearly for them and helping them to learn English. Not one of them, made me explain and explain and explain and explain.


Betrayed

One time, in our new store, towards the end, he had borrowed my car during the day, for some reason, I don't remember why he couln't use his, but anyway he had to borrow mine. When he returned it, he put my keys back on my desk. I stayed late that night at the store and he had left at 5. When I went to lock up the store when I was leaving, my store key was not on my key ring. I couldn't lock the door. I ended up having to lock it from the inside and go out the back door. This,the backdoor we usually dead-bolted shut because, it was just a pushbutton lock doorknob on that door,not at all secure. I had to walk all the way around in the dark, down an unlit alley to get to my car that was parked at the front of the store. When I got to my car, there was the key to the store in an indentation on the arm rest of my car door.

When he came in the next morning, I asked him why he had taken my store key off my key ring. I told him all the trouble I had had the night before, and told him where I had found the key. There was absolutely no way it could have come loose from the keyring.

He said he didn't do it. That someone must have stolen my keys off of the desk and made copies of them all, returned them and then put the store key into my car arm rest.



Creating chaos, gas lighting, crazy making at its finest.
No wonder I felt so confused.


Betrayed

He had his own set of keys to the store. Why did he take the keys and have them copied?? When the police got him out of my store. I had all my locks changed. He still managed to get in my car, my house, my store. He used to brag about how easy it is to break into places, he would always warn me and show me how easy it was. Two months later, after the police originally got him out of my store, during the stalking, I came to the store in the morning, and there was his old store key sitting in my ashtray on my desk. A subtle message, that I could not keep him out???

Mind games.

Betrayed

That sounds like a horrible experience. How long did the stalking last? Is he still around?

Di

Wait, I'm just getting started. I'm on a roll. Bear with me that it is all so disjointed. I can't seem to put it all in order. Just little bits at a time. After police got him out of my store, the stalking went on for a year and a half. It stopped in August 2000, when I moved my stuff back into the original store and about the same time I completely lost all my hair. However, in late spring of this year 2002, my grandaughter and I spotted him circling on foot, for over an hour, the store where my stuff is on consignment. Thanks for asking questions, Diane. I need someone to help me get it out of my brain, and into a whole picture.

Betrayed

I believe he is a serial killer, besides being a pedophile, conman, thief, stalker I believe his plans were to marry me then murder me, to get my money from my business. .I believe he has killed others in the past, similar scenerio, but maybe just men, I'm not sure.. All the other stuff was just his side line of abuse tactics. I know it sounds crazy. But all the weird things he said and did lead me to this conclusion. Re-enacting his childhood drama/trauma,with me as his parent and being so angry and resentful that he never got a cut of his fathers furniture business, when the father sold it. It's so hard to put down in logical order, to tie up all the facts. I don't know how to do it. It was like a giant maze of incidents that all tie together. Backwards talk, metaphor like talk, almost like screen memories. It still hurts my head trying to explain it.

I was stalked by him for a year and a half and did not even realize it at the time. All to put his little plan in place.And then to be stalked violently for another 1 1/2 years, after getting him out of my store. Only someone who understands Psychopath ways could understand how he worked it. I gave up trying to explain to friends. I feel so alone in all this, it was way beyond your "regular" P agendas.

This P lived in a bus in a field out of town, did not speak English well (thick French accent from Quebec), covered in tattoos, criminal past, none of his "friends" knew each other, worked sporatically, was collecting welfare, had violent black rages, was shy, withdrawn. for the first 1 1/2 years showed not the slightest sexual interest in me.



Believe me when I say, this would have been the last guy on earth I would have chosen to date, let alone fall in love with. I have never in my life been attracted to guys with tattoos, never dated someone with a criminal past, never dated someone who has overt anger problems, would refuse to ever date someone with an alcohol or drug problem..

Nothing of what happened makes sense.

I have never met anyone with a similar story. Parts of it are similar, exact same dynamics of a P