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Thanks,
Di

To all,

Related to the discussion on the Mask of a Psychopath about what happens to the victims of psychopath's who don't "get out and away" is a movie that I saw several years ago.

The name of the movie is Affliction, starring Nick Nolte. It was released in 1998 and is available on video.

The character of Nick Nolte's father is played by James Cobern who neglects his aging wife so badly that she dies.

This movie is very well done and very disturbing, in my humble archair critic's opinion. When I saw it I felt affinity with the whole theme and tone of the story. It was scary. At that time I knew that if I didn't get out of my horrible marriage and sphere of my exhusband that I could die that way. I was fortunate that my spirit rose up and made me cut him out of my life. But I recognised that there was no time left to ponder. The non caring, lack of conscience was so apparent to me in my ex-husband. That icy reality scared me into action. This movie addresses that fear.

Cherie

This is not a question, but an e-mail that was forwarded to me, quite without any prior connection to this forum. Thought you'd find it interesting.

"This is a genuine psychological test. It is a story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, she met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be, that she fell in love with him then and there. A few days later, she killed her own sister."

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? DON'T scroll down until you have thought about what your own answer is to this question!!!







Answer: She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a psychopathic killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in this test and answered it correctly. If you didn't - good for you. If your friends hit the jackpot, may I suggest that you keep your distance!!

P.S. - I'm not vouching for the authenticity of any of this, but I did think it was interesting.

Here is an article I found on Psychopathy and Cult Leaders. It is based on the Hare's criteria for Psychopathy. It is a succinct and understandable article and is very descriptive of the type of Psychopath I was involved with.

Psychopathy and Cult Leaders

**edited to make link clickable, Di

I was married to a psychopath. He poisoned me, he tried to shoot me. I stayed because I was a "good Christian wife". He was physically and sexually abisive. But, I thought it was only directed at me, and that the children would be spared. One day, my daughter told me what he had been doing to her and her brother, and I had to make that decision to leave. As you know, that portion of a story like this is nearly impossible. We separated almost four years ago, and I know he will not stop until I am dead. We live in a small community, he has escaped criminal prosecution due to his political and social ties. He is cold, calculating, emotionless, controlling, etc. I have no where to turn, no where to go. I have no friends, he drove them away. I cannot leave the county, there is a court order making me stay (he did that!) The children are not safe. I am not safe. I have let go, he never will! I have a file that will be given to the proper authorites if I disappear, at least they will know who did it to me. He will not stop until I am dead.

Hi Teresa, welcome to the forum. I don't know what to say, it sounds like you have a horrible dilemna. I will start a thread titled "My Story" if you are willing to post more about your situation, hopefully we can offer some assistance.

Di

Sure, I would like to share more. I feel like I found my voice again, I'm not just talking inside a bubble anymore. I'm safe here, he won't know anything. He won't know I'm talking, he would try to stop me if he could. He had me arrested once for using his credit card during our marriage, and while I was being detained, I felt safe finally. I knew he could not hurt me in jail! How funny is that? When I was released, a few hours later, I was terrified again. I'm used to it now.

Hi teresa, I'm so sorry you're in the situation you are in. You are safe here. Maybe when we hear more of your story, we will have some helpful suggestions. But I understand, also, there is not always something you can do to fix it. Sometimes, you just have to hold God's hand.

kris

Thank you for your kind words. I pray, I listen. I know God won't give me more than I can handle, but this has to stop soon! How do I QUIT this game my ex is playing? I don't interact with him, but he finds ways to intimidate me. Mostly it is the fear of a repeat of the violence. Why won't he leave me alone? He told me I was his trophy wife, but he has since remarried. Why won't he just go away?

teresa, I have been thinking about your situation, and the only thought that has come is...is it really legal to deny a divorced spouse the right to leave the COUNTY? I mean, I know the psychopath managed to get the court order, but is it really up and up, or is it some quasi-legal string somebody pulled? Now, maybe it is perfectly legal, but it doesn't seem like it would be. State, yes. County? On the other hand, maybe it is not safe to fight him in court. Have you connected with your local battered women's group?

Some psychopaths, even though they do not love or want you, and may have a harem at home, can never take the ego strike that somebody they owned just walked away. And psychopaths do own people. They do not have relationships. They have slaves. Maybe he is somewhat pacified to be able to control your life, where you live, what you do, but cannot deal with the idea that you can actually get away, that anyone can get away from him.

He sounds so dangerous, teresa. If you haven't contacted the women's shelter people, I think it would be a good idea. They may be able to guide you.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

kris