I am very happy that I found a little bit of my story in all of your posts. I have to say that there are some days that I feel good and some not. But I become suspicious of everybody that are connected to that P. I have the feeling that there are already some underground movement shaking my ground. And as Finished wrote "The victim is a victim because he or she has been chosen by the abuser." as I read before chosen by a primitive envy." He or she becomes the scapegoat who is responsible for everything bad. The victim is innocent of a crime for which he or she will pay." What I have noticed, is that a P pushed us to the limit of loosing it and we are confused and reacting and expressing ourselves, they start pointing fingers as we are the one loosing it. Since I have said what I thought and was told that it was absurd and to never communicate again with him>>> I am scared that war as started. I will see my words appear on billboard or all around where I would expect. And I start doubting my judgment but I read all the posts I am so convinced again of my diagnostic.

I read this morning that some became of you became obsessed and that made me feel good as I found myself quite obsessed, whether it was about trying to explain what was going on or simply on obsessing on the illusion.

This morning as well, I remember that when he had some major problems at work and he was telling me that someone tried to convince one of his partner that he was "evil". I guess that man must have read the same book we have book. I felt a bit better but still that meant that P is not aware....

I found this online...A psychopath will always reveal himself in the beginning of a relationship. With or without words, he will invite the victim to participate in his game called life. If you are a victim, you will invariably be able to recall what the catch phrase, words or actions were, even decades later.

Does any of you remembers those catch phrases?

It is actually pretty interesting to know. I wouldn't be seduced by those one again.

I found this online...>>>A psychopath will always reveal himself in the beginning of a relationship. With or without words, he will invite the victim to participate in his game called life. If you are a victim, you will invariably be able to recall what the catch phrase, words or actions were, even decades later.<<<<<

Does any of you remember those catch phrases?

It is actually pretty interesting to know. I wouldn't be seduced by those one again.

Hi hopefull -

>>A psychopath will always reveal himself in the beginning of a relationship. With or without words, he will invite the victim to participate in his game called life. If you are a victim, you will invariably be able to recall what the catch phrase, words or actions were, even decades later. >>

The phrase my P. used was "It's you and me against the world". When I look back he has brainwashed me from the beginning. One time in the very beginning, when I started playing his game, and idealizing him, he said, "thata girl". He also said "I don't know what to do with you, its like I got a brand new toy to play with". Where was my brain. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you these things. When I come here and post, it takes me out of my denial. And my denial has been very deep, just like the emotional mind games. One thing I am having trouble with is the P. does seem to hurt about our friendship ending. But then maybe it is just the lost of a player, in his game, someone he put so much time and energy into developing. betterway

I guess they all use the same tactics and I am ashamed to have been seduced by those. My first phrase was one that I would forget but prefer not to say in case this forum will be divulge but it is quite similar as yours "It's you and me against the world" when I remember his girlfriend was standing no more than 10 feet away. One that followed was " I have to get your mind going". After months that I haven't had seen him, I ran into him and he told " I have been waiting for you look what I kept for you here". All those added sounds that it is obvious that they are playing a game. What bothers me is that yes now I am the crazy one because I have said what I thought, and of course there is no guilt, no loss for him. But yes, I would love to hear from all the others what was the hook phrases?

> ". Where was my brain. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you these things. When I come here and post, it takes me out of my denial. And my denial has been very deep, just like the emotional mind games.<


((((Betterway)))) Please don't be embarrassed. The brainwashing caused us to disassociate into a trance-like state. When you are in trance, your rational, crital thinking goes out the window. You accept all kinds of things that you would NEVER normally accept.Its only afterwards, you realize oh my god, I can't believe I fell for that. All of us have experienced this.

After stalking me for a year and a half, ( unknown to me), alienating all the support in my life, getting his plan into place, we were about to move into the new store. He said, " We are going to start a new adventure." Little did I know at the time, the adventure consisted of stealing my money, sexually abusing my kid ( unsuccessful thank god), plus various other horrors. Once we moved into the new store, he said, " At last we're alone, no one to bother us.". Then proceded to romance me. One of his opening lines to me was, " I have all these girls after me, but the woman I want, I'm not good enough for". This was proceded by a note that said, "I really, really like you, do not do confusion with sex, not often". Little did I know at the time he preferred sex with animals, children, men, and whores".

The line he used about not being good enough, apparently is quite common with these people. Its mentioned in many books I've read on abusive relationships. I have never, in my experience with dating, had someone say that to me before.

So, if someone tells you they are not good enough for you, BELIEVE THEM.

Betrayed.

"So do ya think, a girl like you could fall for a guy like me??"

Yep. That musta been it. It was sandwiched somewhere between...

"I'm single, never married, no kids"...

"I'm not a liar" (said at one of our first meetings, before I ever suspected him of it)...

"Actually, I'm separated, I can't afford the divorce"...

"I love my wife and will never divorce her" (said a few days after he got me into bed)...

"Well, I do have one child"...

"Well, there is another boy"...

"I also have a girl"...

"I was afraid to tell you, but I actually have one more son"..

"I want to grow old with you"

The only thing that I feel now, looking back and remembering, is irritation that I fell for it, and stayed. Also, I now realize that because of my own willingness to lower my standards, I stayed around to be lied to some more. The other thing I realize is that I started spinning with the first of these lies, and was not healthy (or maybe not sick) enough to put an end to it until a few years, and a few thousand dollars, later.

I agree, if they saty they're not good enough for you, then they're not!!!

Praise and Thank God we got out alive!!!

Blessings and Love to you all!!!

-Leti

<> I did do start spinning, it was slow but it did hit me. I remember I was always standing far, the guy looked too perfect and I thought it looked unhealthy, but those lines made me spin.

A few I remember.

You have so much to offer.

You deserve someone who can spend more time with you.

I think your'e thinking this is something it's not. (three years later)

No big deal.

Can't change the past. . .

It's out of my hands.

Most men have a hard time talking about feelings.

There's nothing to talk about.

That's what I mean . . . (whatever that meant)

He's losing (P#1) a wonderful thing.

Sadly, I was so starved for love and affection, I also lowered my standards, ignored my instincts and marched straight into hell. Eyes wide shut.

finished

I think it helps to remember all those catch phrases if we want to avoid those types of persons.At least all of yours help me to think and I am sure I will remember those under any conditions. Now I remember much more: " You deserve better". ( talking about people that would criticize me.) IT is funny everytime I was making sure that he would know I was interested, and in my head I was telling myself if he doesn't anything he will run, but no, he would say more of those.