>>>(((betrayed)) the P that dealt on you sounds like the most tortuous, sadist,vile and pernicious P. It is amazing that you are standing girl. Yes. . .very chilling. . .very horrific! I'm so glad we can reach out to one another here. . .and I'm glad YOUR'E here :-) <<<

Thank you, (((Finished))). I'm glad you made it out too. All of us have so much to be thankful for that little voice that said something wasn't right. All of us staggering out, shell shocked.Thank god there are places like this.

All that, and he never hit me or called me names. Thank god I escaped when I did, it was escalating.

Near the end, I had gone out garage saleing on a Friday, only a couple of sales that day. I came back with nothing. He asked what I had got . I replied nothing. He got really mad. He said he didn't believe me and went out to my car to look. Afterwards, I thought to myself what in the hell business is it of his what I get or don't get. My business has nothing to do with him. He refinishes furniture in his own separate area, his own separate business.. Absolutely nothing to do with my business.


This example doesn't seem to be such a big deal, but it just shows you how he was using power and control on me. Slowly, slowly infiltrating his way into my life, telling me what to do.

betrayed,
...All that, and he never hit me or called me names. Thank god I escaped when I did, it was escalating..... where you scared that it would start indeed to change, that a man so closed to folly would snap, and would be a violent beast? Did any of you read the profile of the sniper? I dislike to bring that up, but what I read scared me. How he would lie compulsively gave a tons of reasons why he was buying a car. It sounded like the P I knew when he would come up with 5 differents stories in half an hour of why he could fullfil its promises. So if I attributes the possibility of a P snapping, I attribute the possibility of any P snapping. And that is what scares me. Probably any of you know more information of the possibility of Ps snapping and commiting atrocities. Sometimes I feel like I have responsiblities to warm people about those people, not necesseraly say that they are sociopath but warm them of possible problems. But I get scared and tell myself silence is wiser.

>>>One thing I noticed that many of them do is have you visualizing them naked.<<<< My P did that right in the beginning. I would call and he would answer saying that he was in the shower but would go on talking for long.
Interesting! <<<

Now I'm visualizing your P naked, talking to you on the phone. LOL


Think about all the other times he had you visualizing. Our brains make pictures out of words. They take full advantage of this. They leave blanks in their stories for you to fill in with pictures. Another one I have noticed, that the P and others use, is they will tell you a story and mention a friend, never their name, never if its a male or female. Very vague, very mysterious. The rest of us tell a story and use our friend's name in it, and if you don't know them we tell you about them. P's don't do any of this.

Betrayed.

>>>>where you scared that it would start indeed to change, that a man so closed to folly would snap, and would be a violent beast? <<<

I did see him violent, while in the store, kicking his dog. He told me stories of how violent he has gotten, smashing walls etc.told me how one girl friend had him arrested for assault and all he had been doing was holding her arms trying to calm her down because she wouldn't stop screaming., and how incredibly stong he is when violent. I've seen the damage he has done to my car, my mothers car, her boyfriends car, my friends car, the windows smashed and garbage strewn on businesses either side of me. Their words are acts of violence.

As for lying, I too encountered different stories all about the same thing.

So yes, I am afraid he will act it out on me or my granddaughter.

These guys are obsessive. They can be dangerous, even if they never were physically abusive in the relationship. They can snap and do. To escape their power and control is a massive insult to them. Especially when you first leave.


As for warning others, what can we do, follow them around for the rest of their lives warning everyone they encounter? They play dirty, the risk of retaliation, is not worth it. We all have families and friends, lots are so low as to target them, anyone connected with us. Unfortunately it pays to be silent.

Betrayed.

...Another one I have noticed, that the P and others use, is they will tell you a story and mention a friend, never their name, never if its a male or female....
You are absolutely right. the p would talk about " someone".

Betrayed

>>You have no idea how important it is for someone to understand the horror of how dangerous he is and believe me. What parts of my story, make you believe me? I didn't know what parts to tell to the police. It was so confusing.<<

I can only speak to this as a fellow target (victim).

I know in my experience, especially that last night a few months ago when I was with P#2, that if I would have had to explain that to the police and P#2 would have given his side, it would all sound VERY different. But I WAS THERE. I knew what happenned and felt the whole experience. You all validated my experience, my clinical phycologist ($90 per hour) validated me, Rape Center and DIVS validated my story and the counselor at the YWCA validated and believed my story. I seriously doubt whether the police would have done that. I only have a feeling they would be humoring me by taking a report. And if P got an opportunity to give his side, I think they ( P and police) would have laughed behind my back.

So all that to say this. You were there betrayed. You know what you survived and looking back realizing the full horror of it all. I don't doubt you at all. As another woman who lived through a night of terror I would never minimize or disbelieve another womans experience. What I have been told it this, once we realize we are safe, only then can we discect the details. It seems to me betrayed, your P was almost a serial P. My heart reaches for you. And I think of you often and keep you in my prayers for safety and protection. You survived a nightmare.

I have an opportunity to take a mini holiday break. I will be away from my computer for a few days. (be here today).

I keep you all in my thoughts and heartfelt prayers.
finished

Betrayed and Finished...

I only have a feeling they would be humoring me by taking a report....

I think the incongruencies of the stories we have to say undermine our credibility in front of others. I think it that is that feeling that we have of being not credible that pushed us to find an answer, a clear explanation to what happen because deep inside we know there is something utterly wrong. Most of the people I know don t understand what in the world went on. Which is at the end something good.
Imagine if you were to tell the police that you had the impression something was wrong at first but you went on. How to explain that? At the end, it doesn't matter, we do understand now more and more.

Hopeful!

>>I think the incongruencies of the stories we have to say undermine our credibility in front of others. I think it that is that feeling that we have of being not credible that pushed us to find an answer, a clear explanation towhat happen because deep inside we know there is something utterly wrong.<<

Perfectly put!!! Our experience drives us to find the answer.

>> Most of the people I know don't understand what in the world went on.<<

Even I didn't understand until now.

>>Imagine if you were to tell the police that you had the impression something was wrong at first but you went on. How to explain that? At the end, it doesn't matter, we do understand now more and more. <<

That is so correct. . .I know in my heart my own experience. Those who cannot or will not validate or support me, it does not matter. You put it so well (((hopeful)) we do understand now more and more!

Bless you
finished

Thanks (((Finished))). I think I am just experiencing the mind bending effects still from the P. I know what happened, and god knows what the P told them, when police interviewed him. There are just too many stories from women on how the P manages to turn it all around. Have a nice break and go have fun.

Anyways, to continue on about NLP, I was familiar with it as I knew a number of people who had taken courses in it in the 1980's. It was apparently a gathering together of a number of successful healing techniques by Satir, Erickson, etc. They teach you how to model someones behavior, exactly like a P does. How to stand, breath, take on their tone of voice, but not for evil purposes, but to create rapport. I think they still have courses for salespeople using NLP.It was originally created for theraputic purposes.

How to subliminally manipulate and sprinkle conversations with specific words to get people to do what you want.I have been told that one of the creators of NLP was himself a P.

http://www.nlpmind.com/seduction.htm

I was shocked to find that people are now selling on the net NLP techniques to seduce women. That was never its original intention. But so many of NLP techniques were used on me by the P. I believe these P's come by it naturally.

My granddaughter, had a play at school, that she was performing in, when the P and I had the store together. She asked me, if she should sell a ticket to the play to the P. I said sure why not. It was a 3 night running play. When she asked him if he would like to buy a ticket, he asked her what night I was going to the play. He told her that he wanted one for that night, too.

The night of the play comes up, he never suggested that we go together, so I didn't even mention it, just sort of assumed I would see him there. It was getting to be about an hour before the play, and he asked me if I could get a ticket to the play for his friend ( a guy in his late twenties, with a wife and children at home). I thought this was really odd, but told him maybe he could get an extra ticket at the door, even though it was sold out. He and his friend took off, I thought for the play. I was running late with a customer and it was now 10 minutes before the play started. I'm racing to get the store closed up, and he shows back up with his friend. I said aren't you going to the play, its almost started. He said "You go, I'll close up the store."

Anyways, I get to the play, manage to find a seat, its packed. People are standing up along the wall, not enough seats. Great play, my granddaughter did marvelously. She spots me from the stage and waves. I go out a few times during the play for a smoke. At no time do I see the P or his friend, sorta watching for them. My granddaughter was watching for him, scanning the crowd, and disappointed he never showed up.

Next morning, I arrive at the store. The P comes in a few minutes later, enraged. He says, "Why didn't you save me a seat", told me he had to stand against the wall. I'm thinking what the hell are you talking about. At no time did he say he was going with me or even asked me to save a seat, (not that I could have anyway, barely managed to get a seat for myself. I told him, I didn't even see him there, and that I doubted he had even gone. Then he tried to tell me he had left early. But, he proceded to do an exact impersonation of my granddaughter, even using the words she had spoken in the play. His face became hers, it was chilling.
He had obviously gone to the play, but not that night, he was not there. Had he switched tickets for a different night??? Head games.


Betrayed.

**edited to make link clickable, Di

Thank you,((((Hopefull and Finished)))), for catching me when I was wavering. The experience with a P is truly mindboggling, everything about it is so unreal. The only thing that got me through this, was my saying to myself, almost like a mantra, "I know what happened, I know the truth."

Betrayed.