Hey all,
Well, I can't believe there are people out there like me! I have done over 10 years of 'hard time'. I have just had enough evidence to finally realise that it's not me, I am not insane, not forgetful, not stupid or paranoid...it really is him. (The ex.)

I would tell you my story, but I don't have the energy...I am in the early days of the end of the 'relationship'. I don't have a broken heart, I went into it this time with my shields up. But he's trying every contact, every angle to get in through a crack somewhere. I live in Oz, I am 38 - He was my only real partner since I divorced 12 years ago, I have found myself with no self-esteem, not a single friend, medicated for depression for about 8 years, tried suicide 3 times because of the stalking when I did manage to get away.
I am so dumbstruck at how I let it go on for so long. I have always known that he was a pathalogical liar, a charmer and not able to feel any remorse. He loves to take revenge when I do manage to break it off, but has never been physically violent. There is so much more, but I think I will just sit here in the quiet of the night and read about all of you.
Cheers
Debb

Hi Debb, welcome to the forum. I am sure reading other stories that you will feel less alone. It is typical due to the "con" aspect of a Psychopath to be very good at keeping someone on the hook. They do have a pattern of multiple partners and I hate to say this but he will probably move on to another target? Did he manage to wipe you out your $ also.

Di

Hello Debb

I know that feeling of relief when you find this forum and everyone understands how you are feeling and what you have coped with. Take time to read all you can and maybe you will see how so many other people share your experiences, there is plenty of time to tell us all about your situation if and when you are ready. So much can be left unsaid because it's a given....like the lying.

You sound like a very strong person, that doesn't stop the destruction that has happened but hopefully it will be slightly easier to move your life forward. I will look forward to hearing more from you as I imagine the patterns of behaviour you experienced will be the same as other members.

Regards
Jan

Hi, is there a 'letting go' process? Like the grieving one? And when can you stop holding your breath and know that they are really gone. Every time I think - "That's it!" He finds some reason, like he wants something back, etc, to contact me. The only way is by email....But now he's gone and got a job 5 mins away from me! He lives nearly an hour away on the other side of town!
Never, in all my days, Have I felt so helpless!

hello Debb

Everyone has their own way of 'letting go' and it is extremely hard especially if this person has been in your life for 10 years and worn you down. That is a big percentage of your entire life so it means leaving a a lot behind and making lots of changes.

I think it is easier if you just take things on a day to day basis with small steps so you feel a sense of achievment each time you feel you have made a mental adjustment.

It is in you power to move yourself forward although it may seem out of your hands at the moment but that will change.
First of all I would block his e-mail address and work on no contact whatsoever. Make yourself totally un available and maybe look for a friend who you can spend time with. If this man knows someone else is with you he will be less likely to approach you. People like him need to isolate their victims to have control, they don't like to tackle more than one person at a time.

Other members may be able to tell you what strategies they have used. You have taken the biggest step by seeing this man for what he is and the next one to break contact. You are on the right track and I hope we can give you support to carry on.

Regards
Jan

Hi,
Thanks for the reply. I found the 'No Contact Contract' on one of the links. I have to say that each time I find a way out, this is my biggest anxiety. It's taken me to the brink of sanity! THIS time, I have told EVERYONE. Well, my family, I don't have any friends anymore.
Of course, he wants 'stuff' sent back to him, blah blah blah. The fact that he is working in my local area just disturbs me.
But I will stay strong - keep coming here. I am still so amazed at what I have found/learnt and exactly 'what' he is. I am a professional, but a rescuer (a teacher, now a funeral director). You really think that 'this time it will be different'. This time he had been in jail for 9 months, I thought that would have really made a difference. 3 weeks later, I started seeing the cracks appear. I still can't get my head around how exact all the information is - even stuff I hadn't even realised had occured until I read about it.....then the lightbulb goes on. A Predator - That's what my shrink has been calling him for 3 years!

Cheers
Debb

Hello Deb,

I had the same difficulties like you described. it as years ago though and in the mean time I found some things that really worked for me. and i know it did the same for others.
I put them on the forum some time ago and you can find them here withthe name; There is a way out and a name I seem to have forgotten. Anyway, I know these things will help you a great deal...
regards Segaya
i have found them;
You can find it with 'psychopathy in the family' and it is called; Discovery and healing , there is a way out and maybe you find what you are looking for also with ; Bach flower remedies.

Thanks Segaya,

I am still going through utter disbelief - I just read a story of a woman who obviously had a Psychopath partner - He ended up using a cattle prod on her and gouging out her eye! All I can think is, if I had not held onto my idependance and moved in with him...I'd be long dead by now. It makes me shake. I just wish there was a way of protecting his next victim. His ex tried to warn me 10 years ago and of course, she was just a "cray B**ch".