My english isn´t very good so I will try to be as clear as possible. I have just married a guy who is, according to Marie-France Hirigoyen parameters, a pervert abuser. At present I am taking care of my baby, but he has been trying to obtain the full parental custody. All of this has been referred to the argentinian justice depatment and I will request for him a psychiatric evaluation, in order to do this I would need an expert guide or reference points for this type of patology.
I would really appreciate your help,
Regards
Mary

I am going to try to be brief. My English isn’t very good.
I have 28 years old and he has 40 years old. He is very religious; he belongs OPUS DEI. The majority of his friendly are minors who he. He lives in the building of his mother, in another department.
I married the past year and I was pregnant immediately. The day of the legal wedding, he pushed to me and he threw me to the floor. That day, his mother felt bad and she made a little scandal in the party.
Later, we were to honeymoon and we spend a good moment.
When we returned, he started with more aggressions. First he said me:- You don’t inspire me sexually-. (Before the wedding we had sex).
He started to shout to me every day. He angered with me continuously; because I did not cook well, because I was not going to administer the money well in the future, because I did not wash the clothes well, because I did not help him in the tasks of the home, because I slept to much. If I became ill, he angered with me because that, and that day he called me very followed. In a discussion, he leaves me locked up in the bedroom during one hour. He was going away to sleep to his mothers house all the weekend. He defended to his mother in front of his family while his mother raised the voice to me. Sometimes he spent three days without speaking to me. Every day he arrived from the work with two liters of beer and he watch television. But sometimes he was very charming. Other times he said me:-immature [censored]-.
To both months of married I left it by recommendation of a priest, who gave me to read “Moral Harassment” of “M.F. Hirigoyen”.
Throughout the pregnancy, he sent me messages, some days of love, and some days horrible. He called to me and he left messages all the time. He sent me email, some days of love, and some days horrible again. He called to my friends, to my parents, to my brothers. He called to my doctor (obstetric) continuously, he goes to his office, he spoke with the secretary, he send him a registered legal letter.
I started a married invalidity, and he attempt to say what I didn’t be able to be with my self and with my baby. When my baby was born he continued with this moral harassment in a different ways. I make a formal complaint in a court with witness for his aggressions.
He does not give me money for our daughter.
At present I am taking care of my baby, but he has been trying to obtain the full parental custody All of this has been referred to the Argentinean justice department and I will request for him a psychiatric evaluation, in order to do this I would need an expert guide or reference points for this type of pathology.
He has a lot of powerful contacts in the justice and in the church. He has a lot of money and a excellent lawyer
I really need an expert guide or reference points for this type of pathology. Please, help me. I would really appreciate your help, I need it. Thanks.

hello Inda Meri.
hello again.
I understand what you are writing perfectly so no probems there!!!!
You are a very brave woman for taking the steps you already did.
Jan gave you the link in blue that you can click on and you will see some more information you can use.
Is your family helping you?
Is there any support for you?
When a priest recommends you to leave the marriage then it had to be very, very bad. Is this man willing to help you more? Can you go and speak about things at least?

I am also thinking about support groups of battered women. If there are any of those in your country then please contact them for they can give you plenty information about which steps to take and where you can go for more help, also practical help.

I do hope you find this forum helpfull and when you want to talk about things..we are always here!
Regards Segaya

Thank you very much Segaya.
It was a very difficult decision, but I didn’t have other chance, because I was pregnant and my baby danger run. I think she ( my Baby) gave me value, anger.
I returned to speak with that priest and he help me more. Then I was talk with a lawyer
And then I was start a therapy, but they can’t help me with some things.
My ex husband, anger much with my decision, and he continuous his mental persecution against my.
He comes to visit our daughter, and he put aggressive again. Twice with me, and other with my parents; but the worse thing was he had the baby in his arms in his moments of aggressiveness. And the baby cried, and he seemed not to realize, not to notice it.
I am scared to him, especially by my daughter.
Thanks for the support.

Hi indian meri,
I am so glad you got tis priest to talk to. He seems like such a nice and wise man.
I know what you mean by saying the baby gives you the strenght to do the things you need to do.I had the same thing when my kids were small.
I know also about being scared all the time and no knowing what to do.
That is why I asked you about organisations in your country that helps womenn like you are.
Is there anyhelp for battered women? are their refugy houses or hidden places you can stay?
I know your baby will give you the courage to keep on going and to be strong.
You came this far on your own and you will keep on going for you don't want your baby or yourself to get in trouble even more.
Is there a possiblity to keep him out of the house of your parents? It is their house so he has nothing to say about it?
be strong
regards Segaya

Hello India Meri

Are you living with your parents? I really do hope as that is a very safe place to be. Try to get the support of all your family and friends for your security. If possible always be with someone you can trust who will be a witness to what your ex husband is doing. You may have to tell them more that you would like them to know so they understand how bad thing s are for you and your daughter.

I don't know the laws of your country and I don't think we have anyone else on the forum from your country who could give us advice. Is it possible for you to get a legal injunction to stop your ex husband from visiting your daughter, It is not good for her to be used by him to hurt you. Can you get a lawyer who specialises in family law?

You need to write down everything he does and says and if it is possible, make a recording of what he says. See if you can get your family to make notes of their experiences with him to back up what you say. You will need every piece of evidence to prove what he is doing, especially as he is wealthy and has people in high places supporting him. Being a member of Opus Dei does not make a bad person good and it's not unusual to find bad people hiding behind a 'club' like this.

Were you able to open the link I posted for the psychopathy checklist? For copyright reasons it is better for us not to copy the list but if you have problems opening this please let me know and I will help you get this information. It is a starting point and there may be a lot more information that would be useful.

Start with the checklist, it may help you understand what else you need to know, I will then see what I can do for you.

We will all help you as much as we can. I hope your little girl was not too upset by this man's cruel treatment.

Look after yourself as you will need to be strong for your daughter.

Regards
Jan

Yes, Segaya, I had luck to know the priest. He is a very perceptive man. You find help for battered woman; but not to much. There is no much legislation for this type of subjects, and there is much ignorance in the Argentinean justice department. And this kind of people (my ex) knows to deceive, to lie and to convince some professionals.
He did not want to pay to a social assistant to saw our daughter. He prefers to hope to fight for another decision of the judge and did not pay the assistant.
Thank you Jan. Yes, in this moment we are living with my parents. I get a lawyer who specializes in family law, but he never work in a case like this. Anyway I think he is a good lawyer, he is very honest.
Yesterday I open the link you posted for the psychopathy checklist. I’m going to try to translate it and to give the material to my lawyer.
I hope he wasn’t upset me and my little girl anymore. My baby is afraid of the masculine voices, and she always start to cry. I hope this fear goes away.
Thank you very much to both by the support and the answers.
Yesterday I received a legal notify from him, to let me know he is not going to pay anymore the medical social work. And he wants to send another to my work reason why payment during the pregnancy and the license by maternity.
I believe he only tries to upset ours life’s.

Regards.

Hi India,

Here is a website for translations. I think the free part you will be limited on amount of text so you might have to break the list down.

http://www.freetranslation.com/

Di

Hi Di,

Thank you for the information. I am going to work in that tonight!!!

Hi india, I am glad and hope it works for you, I have used it a couple of times and was happy to find the site.

Quite awhile ago I saw a show on treatment of women in your country and was quite concerned about the treatment the spouse was allowed to get away with there.

Out of curiosity did you notice his eyes when he would go on the attack?

Di