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#7744 - 01/04/09 11:33 PM A GROSS INJUSTICE
sarah Offline
member

Registered: 12/24/05
Posts: 82
Loc: U.S.A.
Hello My Friends,


Since last time I posted, My Pshycho sister went WAY past name-calling, she attacked me! Yanked my hair out by the roots and almost bit my finger off! And guess what??? That's Right!I went to jail because she attacked me...She went too, and they treated her so well. Made fun o me, sister told them the world is getting so evil... They nod yes. My uncle says "she knows the ropes"... Been in prison even!!! I have never been arrested. And here I was the one who called the police to help me! But inspite of this, and my mother and her husband telling the police that what actually happened. That I did not hit or do anything to my sister, that she attacked me and they had to restrain her and make her not kill me. My mother left marks on her! Witnesses on the scene, and yet they arrested me and I spent the night on a cold County Jail floor! My hair [or lack of] looks like a Cancer Victim's!I am weary, will post more later. There is NO JUSTICE FOR THE VICTIM!

Anyone with a similar injustice where Psychopath. makes you [the victim] look like the bad guy? The police never even took my statement! Here I finally call the police and of course, things aren't handled right, I'll be a criminal!

I am not a criminal! I need housing! Will being arrested hurt my chances. I am about to be approved or Senior/Disabled housing. Does anyone know the laws in Texas for the victims of a Psychopath. and the injustice of the legal system? HELP!!!
_________________________
Sarah

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#7748 - 01/06/09 02:49 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: sarah]
Jan
Unregistered


Hello Sarah

I thought you had got your own place and your sister didn't know where you are living? What happened?
The only way you can help yourself is to get well away from your entire family, it sounds as though you are still allowing yourself to be part of their games.

I don't think anywhere has any laws concerning psychopaths and their victims, only prosecuted and diagnosed psychopaths are kept from abusing others.

Maybe you need to ask yourself why you stay around these people and put yourself in the firing line and then you might find some answers to get a solution. You can only be a victim if you allow it.
There are probably hostels for abused women where you live, I suggest you do some reserch and seek somwhere you can live until you can find somewhere more permanent.

Regards
Jan

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#7753 - 01/06/09 12:50 PM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: ]
Segaya
Unregistered


Hi Sarah,
I was confused too when reading your story.....I aslo asumed you had your own place by now and were trying to relax and get your live back on trail....

I know a lot of people who had to live in very difficult circumstances. As you know it is part of my job to help them to cope with it.
One of the most difficult part of it all is make them see they owe a bit of responsebilitty. That means, like I told on this forum many times before...That you have to aknowledge that the part you have in the problems has to be dealed with.
I know, it probably isn't an active role you have in all of this, but being passive is as harmful.
Some one can do whatever they want to, but only as long as you let them..So when people around you ( this goes for eveybody in all situations)When people around you are bullying you, they can only do so as long as you accept it.
When people are abusive towards you, they can only do so as long as you allow them to.
Sometimes it is hard tosee the way out but I asure you there always is.
The power some one seems to have is only their because people around them give them the power... You can have power too, you simply have to take it..and see what will happen!!!
When their seems to be no one around, when looking closer, maybe deeper you will discover you are not the only person with this kind of problems. Many are, and so their has to be help out there. Maybe like Jan said you have to go to an organisation where help is offered to abused women. A shelter even.
As a person on your own you can feel helpless and like there is no way you can make it stop. Autorities don't seem to listen. But with an organisation there are always people who no where to go, whom to talk to and what to do. They can also help you to disappear . Go and live somewhere else where you can be safe..There is a lot of experience out there and it is there to make use of it.
It is a choice you have to make..A choice no one else can make for you.

This means you have to go and work on yourself. Figure out what it is you want, why you accept what is happening over and over again.
it could be even that you like to be a victim, not so much like, but more like what Dana is speaking about in an other topic. Being a victim is what you are used to, so to get that same old familiar feeling you keep living in this stressfull situations so at least you know what to do and how to deal with all.
When having peace and quite around it can be so very scary when not being used to anything else..

When looking at it all from the inside it seems chaos and how to decide in chaos?
Well, maybe a way to deal with it is to picture yourself 5 or 10 years from now..Where would you like to be in your life by then? What do you want it to be and what do you have to do to achieve this?
Another question is; Do I want to grow old like this? You will feel, know and experience the answer.. And then, when deciding you want a different scenery, the next step is to figure out a plan how to do it and who to speak with to help you...When you don't want a thing to change then don't bother..you can keep doing what you are...

Lots of luck and please start doing the work that is needed!
Segaya


Edited by Segaya (01/06/09 12:56 PM)
Edit Reason: language!!!!

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#7754 - 01/06/09 01:34 PM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: sarah]
Deb Offline
member

Registered: 02/25/06
Posts: 85
Hi Sarah,

What are you doing, hon? After all this time why are you still allowing yourself to be drawn in to the drama of your family ~ the drama that IS your family?

You know they are toxic. You know you must maintain distance and disengage with them. You know that if you cannot do this with actual physical distance that it is possible to do it mentally. Yet you still get pulled in. What is going on? Something unhealthy, it seems.

When we are in a toxic place for a long time, we can absorb it in some ways. A year ago I found some VERY unhealthy thinking still in myself. My kitchen cupboards were extremely bare and there was a part of me that was gleeful about that. Creepily, disgustingly gleeful~actually thrilled that I had so little. It was a disturbing thing to find in myself, but once I recognized it I could do something about it. I had power over it once I realized it was there.

I wonder if you have something equally unhealthy going on in yourself that needs to be dealt with? Some part of you that somehow enjoys the chaos of your family and pulls you back into it?

Self-examination and reflection have been key for me and my recovery. I always ask myself "why?". Knowledge is power and knowing WHY I do things or feel a certain way is crucial to change and healing. So now I do the same for you and ask ~~ Why are these people still such a dominant focus in your life?

Regards,
Deb

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#7936 - 04/09/09 12:11 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: Deb]
sarah Offline
member

Registered: 12/24/05
Posts: 82
Loc: U.S.A.
Sorry, I haven't been keeping you all posted. No, I don't get a thrill from Chaos, it makes me very ill. I just simply can't find a place to put this tired body of mine! God I hate being at my mothers! But evryone has to "be" somewhere.

Here's the whole story about my health... I am on SSI for Major Depression, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and I have physical disabilities too. I have Fibromyalgia and Rheumatiod Arthritis which causes me chronic pain.

The last place I tried to rent turned me down when they found out my Disability was Mental Illness. So, I wrote Washington D.C. and filled Discrimination. I got a certified letter a few days ago letting tme know they are following through with the investigation. So I'm doing all I can, believe me, I hate any trouble!

Sorry for the lack of info on my part!

Love You All
_________________________
Sarah

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#7937 - 04/09/09 03:24 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: sarah]
Jan
Unregistered


Hello Sarah

It's good to hear from you, I have been wondering about how you are getting on.

I'm so sorry to hear about being turned down for a place to live because you are ill. It's bad that you have to take this matter to tribunal, as you rightly say 'everyone need a place to be'. Being physically ill would give most people major depression and associated disorders, after all our minds are who we are and well as our bodies.

I hope you win your case and we will be here to listen and offer any advice if we can. I know I don't need to tell you this but I will anyway....when you make your case keep it very factual, preferably in bullet points. Be forceful and state what you want and then it's up to them to give you a reason to justify their stance.
Don't think of this as trouble, just a challenge. Stick to your guns and don't back down because that is what they will rely on, it seems they do everything they can so you will give up and go away...don't let that happen.

Do you have a friend who can help you write letters and go with you if you have to attend any meetings? Ironically it would be your sister who would have the best chance helping you fight your case!!!!

I hope to hear some better news from you soon and thanks for keeping in touch.

Regards
Jan

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#7938 - 04/10/09 09:04 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: ]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Sarah, I helped my cousin through the system so have a good idea now finally how it works (it was a trick to figure out what to do). HUD is where you can find a place that takes vouchers which they pay a portion of the rent if the place is HUD friendly. Department of Health and Human Resources can help with food stamps, medical and utility help and get you enrolled in MediCaid. Also NAMI, http://www.nami.org = National Alliance for the Mentally Ill is a good resource and can help with some advise about your situation and medical help while you work through the housing situation, they have a list of places that take in people with no insurance and qualify as low income. Most places have a local HUD and Department of Health and Human Services office. Arizona is a very cheap state as far as benefits, most others would allow you to get on MediCaid which would qualify you for more food stamps, medical and utility assistance.

Normally they take away part of your SSI when living with relatives.

A couple of psychiatrists have told me that it is best not to tell anyone that you suffer from a mental health issue due to the stigma/lack of understanding with the public in general.

I know when I helped my cousin Public Housing isn't what it used to be like in the past, riddled with gangs etc. They only charge 20% of your SSI + you can get the other benefits like food, most times utility assistance and health care by getting into the MediCaid system (through the Health and Human Service office). Public Housing at least in Arizona was about a one year wait but they had lovely places, fresh carpet and paint after each tenant.

I don't usually do this but to protect your pricacy about what part of your state you are in you can email in strict conficence and I can try my best to help with advise according to your state.

I hope this helps and if not in order to not disclose your exact location you are more than welcome to email me. I normally don't do this but since I figured out the system I hope I can help. I can't tell you how to escape a Psychopath other than no contact (which in your case sounds like not a good approach since your sister has access to you by living with your family and perhaps finding services in another part of your state. Also you might try finding a battered womens shelter in the meantime, they keep their locations very very secret. In your situation I would consider this as a short term solution to escape while you work out your housing applications and getting on MediCaid and see what HUD can do.

dianne@psychopath-research.com

Di

If you made it through the mangled SSI system I am confident some resources can be found.

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#7939 - 04/11/09 12:35 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: Dianne E.]
sarah Offline
member

Registered: 12/24/05
Posts: 82
Loc: U.S.A.
Thank you both, Jan and Di!

I have Medicaid, Thank God! But there is only so much medication (even Pain Management) can do when your life seems to rely (at the moment) on the Psychopath's in your family. There are days when I want to end it all. So, I find myself online reaching out to the people on this Forum.

There are times in my life when Di, and others have literally kept me alive! I sit here typing through tears, thinking of how complete strangers have gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life!

Thank You Again!
_________________________
Sarah

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#7941 - 04/11/09 10:27 AM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: sarah]
Jan
Unregistered


Hello Sarah

I understand exactly what you mean. When I was going through hell and no-one seemed to listen or take me seriously I came across Di on this forum and everything turned from that day.
She got me through a terrible time because she took the time to listen and be interested in what I had to say and I am trying to return the support she gave me by being here on the forum to support other people going through bad times. Sometimes it's easier to open up to strangers who understand your problems rather than family and friends who haven't had the same experiences as you.

I spent years researching to really understand psychopathy and the effects on victims so want to share that knowledge whenever possible. There will come a time when you feel strong enough to offer your support to others and use your terrible experiences in a positive way to let others know you understand what they are going through and things can get better.

I am looking forward to the day when you tell us things are improving and you can move on.

Thank you for your appreciation, it's lovely to know we have made someone's day a little better even if we can't speak face to face.

Regards
Jan

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#7944 - 04/11/09 03:05 PM Re: A GROSS INJUSTICE [Re: ]
Dianne E. Offline

Administrator
member

Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
Loc: United States
Hi Sarah, I went through a depression that lasted for years it was so severe. There is no good way to do yourself in, I have thought of them all. I know a guy who tried to shoot himself and lived and lost 1/2 of his face. Imagine if it doesn't work and you would be under the care of the very people you wish to avoid.

I always tell myself, it is not how hard we fall but how we pick ourselves up.

Please let us know if these thoughts cross your mind and we are all here to support you. We all consider ourselves family members and protect whoever needs help. WE all care for your safety and will always be here to listen to what you are thinking about and be able to express your pain in a safe environment.

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