Hello Godsgrace

I do remember you and often think about how things are for you now.

That is not good news about your ex being parolled. Try not to worry in advance of what might happen, you are alert to the possibility he might cause you problems so you can prepare yourself. Let's deal with the present to begin with.

Firstly I would advise you gather your 'troops', friends and family who can be around so you are not isolated which would give your ex easy access to you. Don't be available or accessible.
You are not the sort of person who allows themselves to become a victim so be aware of any situations that might make you vulnerable.

It may be possible to get an injunction to keep your ex away from you but there may be some US members who can give you the legal information about that. I would guess that he may have access rights to your child so maybe alert the child protection agency, again this is something US members might have knowledge of.

It's difficult to predict what anyone will do especially if this guy is a psychopath but if he is then he is unlikely to make any moves if you have a good strong support team around you so remember not to let him approach you on your own.

Let us know how things progress and try to think positively. That will give the impression you are strong an not an easy target. Being a victim is a choice and from I know about you it won't be your choice.

We are here on the forum to help support you so if thing get bad let us know and hopefully we can help you deal with this.

Regards
Jan

Hi Godsgrace, I am sorry to hear this news. I am fogging on if this is his first prison sentence or does he have others?

Many counties have different services, I know here in this county where I live (in the states) there is an excellent victim advocacy program. I live in a small area so am only assuming that most places in the US would have such a person/organization run by the District Attorney or in the case here the title is County Attorney.

I don't mean to sound scary but a protective order is a piece of paper. I know of one victim who had to file this order only to get counter ordered by the Psychopath and it went on and on and there weren't any children involved. However with a protective order you can document him in your area that he will be by law not in such a distance or space.

I would suggest journals, give a copy for safe keeping to a close friend or family member, I have seen various victims do this and it helped to make a clear case for the courts. As I recall if you go the restraining order the system has to let you know when he is out of prison, however the sytem isn't perfect and it will be up to you to be the major player in keeping good notes etc.

Do you have a small camera that you can carry around to secretly snap pics of if you see him around you? If not let me know I use a site that for under $100 USD you can get a very good small camera.

I am assuming since my memory is foggy that he will be on parole. If he starts stalking or harassing you in any way a meeting with his parole officer might be another thing to consider. Most non socialized inmates when released for prison barely meet the conditions and in most cases do something to foul up the terms of their parole and get slammed back in prison. Was he in prison or jail?


Do everything you can that won't put a red target on your back and keep him focused on you.

Your composure will be key, many times Psychopath's when challenged in court are cool and calm and the victim is not the same with so many emotions that the Psychopath can present themselves as the good citizen.

Please let us know as things progress since collective heads and experience from others will hopefully be able to give you the guidance and support during this horrible time.

Di

Sorry yall, I have been busy relocating. Who knows what he'll do or if he is brave enough to try anything at all. Yes, he was in prison and it was his first offense. I stay hidden, but I just foun out today that his sister is moving back up here from vegas...I think she is bringing him with. She posted that she was packing, so who knows how long it will be. He really doesnt have any rights to my baby because I was pregnant when I married mt currant husband and he has our last name. Theres no real proof that he is his, except that I'm black and my husband is white and our other four children are mixed where the the baby is black too! He looks almost identical to his real Dad which is strange. But we love him no less!
Oh and by the way, I do have a camera! I take it everywhere with me too, just because you never know when you might need it...plus my kids are hillarious!
More later its bedtime for me, tomorow is the last day of school for my 3rd and 2nd graders! Its gonna be a long summer!