I still find it amazing that the words that come out of the mouth of a psychopath, are so full of lies and hidden meanings. It almost requires a translation into "human language". As I look back at the words that I have heard (and continue to hear, occasionally), I now understand what those words mean, at least in my Psychopath's case.

Here are few examples,

When my Psychopath says, "I love you!"....this really means....."Do you have any money on you?"

When she says, "I REALLY miss you".....that means....."Do you have any money on you?"

When she calls and says, "I'm so happy with my new life now"....that means....."I'm not sorry I ruined your life. I'm in the process of ruining some more lives as we speak, and am really enjoying it. By the way, can I "borrow" some money?"

"I'd really like for us to keep in touch"...this means..."You sure did show me how foolishly generous you are...and my birthday is right around the corner again".

When calling relatives who have been more than generous in the past, the phone calls will go something like this:

"Well hello Aunt So-and So...How have you been??"...which means..."I'm a size 2 now and I'm running low on sexy designer jeans..Only High End Designer stores will do, of course".

Or perhaps,

"Thought I'd give you a call...I hardly get a chance to call you these day"...which translates to, "My parents are evil..they caught me sexting and sneaking out again, and took away my cellphone..I was hoping to gain your sympathy to score a new one, do you need my Christmas list? I've been great this year! Oh, and I love you!"

This one's my favorite: As she has been staying with a relative after breaking laws and having to move out of here: She calls once a week (by force, of course..she could actually care less if I drop dead, according to her MySpace updates):

"Hi Mom," she says. "Hello dear, you don't have to just call on Sundays, you can call anytime if you want to talk, okay?" (I stupidly and gullibly told her. And her reply?
"Um, that's okay..once a week is sufficient."

Translation:

"What I'm really saying is that I don't care about you or the family, but am really glad you are still willing to talk to me after all the horrible things I did throughout the years to try and destroy your lives. These weekly talks help me to reinforce the phoney persona I am working so hard to maintain, so that I can con and manipulate the extended family as well. Buh-bye now."

Just one more, from a male Psychopath:

If he says,

"My wife left me, I'm devastated, and she won't even let me see the kids"...what he is really saying, is this: "I left my wife, while pregnant, and she was devasted. I will never pay a penny in child support. Oh, and when I did leave her, I stole her car."

That about sums it up.

Thanks for posting this! Although serious I couldn't help but chuckle at a few of these. I have a question for you and other regarding the messaging...I received about 100 messages a day on average. is that what other people experienced? It was anything from I love you to I'm eating salad now.

Stunned again

Hi Jenna Lynn

He is the man of your dreams, he listens to you, and is full of compliments
Translation: If he showed what an evil snake he was in the beginning you would never find him attractive.

When the dinner check comes after searching for his wallet
Translation: I never intended to pay and am seeing how willing you are to support me

He wants to know all about you and seems so concerned
Translation: He needs ammunition to use against you in the future.

You are my soulmate
Translation: I saw how many credit cards you have

My family are all a bunch of jerks and don't understand me
Translation: the family has tossed him out because they are wise to his actions.

X girlfriends or wives call you to tell you what a horrible guy he is
Translation: you are in the honeymoon stage and agree with him they must be real jerks

My X won't let me see our child, she is so terrible
Translation: I have never paid a dime in child support and am running to not to pay

I had a terrific job and am only unemployed because I worked for a real jerk
Translation: I either never had a job since robbing "soulmates" is easier.

I lost my house in the divorce
Translation: that is why I am renting a room and want to move in with you.

I don't have a car since my evil X took it away from me
Translation: How could I ever get a car with my credit and history, besides he now has yours to borrow and trash

No one will ever understand me more than you
Translation the isolation begins

You notice some porn on the computer
Translation: I don't know how it got there a friend was visitng the other day, must have been him.

If you would only give me one more chance
Translation: I haven't lined up a new victim

I have a big deal I am working on and only need a few hundred (which turns into thousands) and only need a chance to prove myself to you, I will pay you back by ___ date.
Translation: Boy what a sucker I have on my hands, food shelter and now a pocket full of her cash.

When you ask for the money back when told it would be paid back
Translation: a vile response from him since he never intended to pay it back which makes you afraid to ask any more.

Yes - it was all about manipluation and control. I would respond because I would tyhink, wow she really loves me. Wrong - just words and her actions did not back up those words and I learned to look to behaviours. I could think of very little else but her and that was her goal - fill my every thought with her. She also made CD after CD of music (love songs) that she said expressed how she felt about me and probably because she could not express it herself (she would say, I am not good with words)or rather, did not want that evidence in someone else's hands. I'm not sure if someone had that experience and she would ask if I was listening to it, was it on my iPod, was it in the car? Of course I was listening to it.

She would pepper me with messages all day long from the moment she woke up until she went to sleep, or she would tell me she went to sleep. She was probably hooking another on the internet. Yes, I will be having that part by the water and throwing everything away and I would love to take a picture of it and send it to her! Now that I am out of it I can see things much more clearly and know that I am so much better off without her.

Freedom is truly great!

Stunned again

This really helped me decode a psychopath. Thanks for sharing.

I have read that the two halves of a psychopath's brain struggle for dominance and that this phenomenon affects their speech mannerisms.

Has anyone noticed a P's misuse and/or arbitrary use of words and vocabulary? I have noticed that it escalates when they are under stressed or pressured to explain themselves when they don't want to.

I read on this site that P's tend to show their weird, scary, most negative side right after the first time one is sexually intimate with them.

In such an instance, the first time we had sex it was very mechanical and I didn't feel a connection with him at all the entire time. He is also nonorgasmic. Then he wanted to leave right away. I told him I thought that was lame, and he goes, "This is why I didn't want do this with you. I have sex with girls and they fall in love with me."

I got so mad! I said, "That is the most narcissistic think I have ever heard anyone say in all my life!" He actually smiled widely and said, "Yes it is isn't it?" That's when I knew something was seriously wrong with this guy.

I kept asking the P how he felt, but he kept rambling on and on merely describing what had happened between us. I kept saying, "I'm not asking you to describe what happen, I'm asking how you FEEL."

He said, "Look, we're friends and we had sex, but I'm not having a relationship with you."

I reminded him, "I'm not asking you for a relationship, I'm asking you how you FEEL."

He seemed irritated that I didn't want a relationship with him and decided to be in denial when I said so. He kept acting like he wanted me to want him to be my boyfriend, even though he didn't want me in the first place! It's nuts!
I didn't even bother to explain how having boyfriends and girlfriends is illogical anyway. We are not a monogamous species!!! DUH!

He's not very smart.

Before any of this happened, the first time he tried to get intimate with me and I refused, I told him I liked him a week later. His reaction was so bizarre, like he was having a near-psychotic episode in a purely verbal fashion.

This was before I realized he was a P.

The following is a paragraph of the sentences he used that night right after I told him I "liked" him. Does any of it seem familiar at all?

"I am f***ing crazy. You don’t understand. It’s too dark and deep and I’m not delving into that because of my own mental issues. Because I am insane. You don’t understand that level of insanity. I haven’t investigated the particular designation of mental capacity in situation of the particular mentality of the f***in’ ideological f***in’…even the genre that defines the character of their personality. And it comes to down to like, really heavy, heavy f***in’ implications. And why can’t I tell all the implications from my f***in’ life? I must have taken some psychedelics at some time or another. And that is way too extensive of an imagination for most people to deal with if they take it to the oxymoron capacity where they just divide themselves into divisions of weirdness and designation of particular f***in’ definitions."

At the time I thought he was really trying to say something. Today I laugh about it to no end - he's ridiculous!!!

The best weapon against a P is laughter.

Oh my gosh, Christie. The first time I had sex with P I also thought it was very mechanical, very little kissing, no emotional connection and he also is non-orgasmic. I felt like I was being raped! I didn't say anything that night because I was kind of in shock. Here was this soft-spoken, kind, sweet personality and this un-feeling sex was not what I expected. It was all about posing. Later in our "relationship" (he also would say he didn't like relationships and liked to say we were just "friends" which was far from the truth). I would tell him he makes love like a person who watches alot of porno movies. Little did I know...he is heavily into the porn world. (I learned that after we broke up).

hi Christie,

looking at your "paragraph" of P ramblings, I'm reminded of another aspect
of P mentation: they think in smaller units than regular folks, and are
able to generate large numbers of unconnected, and possibly contradictory
thoughts in a short time. normal folks find it laborious to deconstruct
the linkages in real-time. watching a video of your interaction with a P
can cause the reaction "how did I ever fall for this?".

one of Hare's examples of this is an inmate stating in quick succession: "I
didn't kill her, but she deserved it anyway". (mens rea = guilty mind). the P
can't compare the two thoughts and realize they are contradictory. forcing
the P to explain the incongruity will just cause anger or other diversions.

I frequently state things as two mutually exclusive choices, e.g. we could
do "a" and get benefits "x", or do "b" and get benefits "y", and I can just
see "my" P's brow furrow, because he can't put it together.

OTOH, he's always charging around, siezing the initiative, because he acts
immediatly on whatever small thought currently resides in his brain. I'm
always reflecting on a larger picture, and wind up being in reactive mode.

oh well.

hope this helps,

-WK

Well, thanks for explaining that. The contradictory speech of the P I knew was at first confusing, then infuriating because I thought he was doing it on purpose. That's the thing, since they compartamentalize concepts and speech so well because it is involuntary, perhaps they "get off" on that. My P grinned widely when his ramblings confused me. Then it just got infuriating because I thought he was doing it in purpose, not knowing that he couldn't help communicating in such a convoluted way. But he still enjoyed my dismay.

Later on after I had "dumped" my P without telling him - I just started ignoring him

Now I understand psychopath's hidden meanings with what they are saying.