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#15361 - 06/20/13 08:41 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: Phillip]
Dianne E. Offline

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Registered: 11/15/02
Posts: 2788
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Quote:
I mean they are spinning out lies from their brain like they have a black belt in it at a speed which is way beyond my comprehension.


Very true and accurate. Great way to put it; )

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#15364 - 06/20/13 10:39 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: Phillip]
crocodile Offline
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Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
Yeah, but that's what everybody does to a degree. If you think memories are pretty accurate records of real events you're badly wrong. There is a reason that in court the eye witness testimony is one of the weakest evidence unless there is a lot of data backing it up (or at least should do). Perfectly normal people often not only remember but even see in real time things that never happened and you don't need to hallucinate. What the Psychopaths do, they consciously lie about the past and when you catch them they pretend they don't remember.

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#15370 - 06/21/13 04:26 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: Phillip]
xela007 Offline
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Registered: 06/13/13
Posts: 134
A psychopath does not know or comprehend reality (I would say psychopathy can be labelled as psychosis). Basically psychosis is the loss of touch with reality, hence psychopathy can be well put under this axis.

The main reason they lie IS to create their own reality, a reality that they can stand, they can not tolerate the reality, hence they create their own. The psychopath I know would lie all day long, about anything, anywhere at any given time. It's a mind game they play to put you in their sick reality. They don't like rules in general and creating their own reality is just like creating a new set of rules, that you need to follow if you are under their spell.

I was trying to make the psychopath understand that he has to be in touch with reality (I didn't know he is a psychopath back then), I was wasting my time and nothing else. They cannot comprehend or accept that their behavior and acts are completely insane and immoral. (NO CONSCIENCE)

When dealing with a psychopath a good rule is to follow this quote - (And no it does not make you a psychopath, a psychopath is born that way, you will not become one)

Discuss, Smile, Agree, and do whatever the heck you wanted to do anyways. - A psychopath will try to make you do things, manipulate you, control you as much as possible, then a good way to escape this is to do the above, or just cut out any contact (this one's safer). I am working on cutting out contact, even though it's hard because he is a family member.

A psychopath does not like contradiction, his ideas are unique and you have to follow them, if you don't agree with him you'll see him throwing more [censored] at you than you can ever take. Total control is what his looking after, even if you say the most obvious of things, the psychopath might come with the reverse (his own ideas/thoughts) just to distort yours, leaving you in the dark wondering if he/she was right (disgusting behavior). I have lived for years asking myself if I was the one saying the wrong things, or doing the wrong things and only to find out I was dealing with a completely cold hearted psychopath that would not give you a piece of bread if you were hungry. A psychopath that thinks he's different from everyone else, that he could change the world (this happened in his childhood), a former bully and abuser, a drop out. It took me years to understand this, and only saw the light, well just partially because I am in trauma for sure, only saw the light when things got insane and out of proportions.

Xe





Edited by xela007 (06/21/13 04:33 AM)
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#15381 - 06/22/13 08:26 PM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: xela007]
galetre Offline
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Registered: 02/11/13
Posts: 34
"Discuss, smile, agree and do whatever the heck you wanted to anyway."

That is such excellent advice. I mostly live by this rule and generally it works, but sometimes I get sucked in, anyway. I just hate myself when that happens. Luckily, he is not home much of the time. He usually lies about his whereabouts and it used to bother me, but now, I'm just grateful when he's gone. smile

I love all the insight in this thread about the way the psychopath communicates. Mine constantly contradicts himself and will argue about it forever. If his lips are moving, he's lying. He often says things that make no sense. He even types out status updates on FB that don't make any sense. The best way to deal with it is the quote at the beginning of my post. I so agree. I just have a hard time not letting what he says affect my plans. Sometimes I inadvertently plan around something he has told me. Almost always to my disappointment. "Discuss, smile, and agree" is easy. "Do whatever the heck you wanted to anyway" is tough for me.

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#15382 - 06/23/13 02:34 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: galetre]
xela007 Offline
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Registered: 06/13/13
Posts: 134
You need to cut out contact completely, as long as you're under his/her spell you might end up doing whatever the heck he/she brags about anyways, especially if it's your spouse. It's a hard thing to do, you can't be coldhearted with a family member (that would make us psychopaths) - you just cannot, whenever things go way too over the line I guess walking away is the only option. It's hard, it's painful, but it's the only option to save yourself, I had taken in enough trauma to even bother anymore - I am sick of it and will do my best to go my own way and never look back at this [censored].

A psychopath can behave (even if he/she) has to pretend, they know good from bad then they can at least behave at stop throwing [censored] at others, stop causing pain to their friends or family. (at least the behaviors can be adjusted, the coldheartness can't be changed)


I still have a question though - that I am still working on - Why would you want to live with someone that does not love you, can't love you, why would you take in the pain he/she is causing anyways? Giving someone else a chance would be a better option? I think so.

I am a member in another forum "It's more about abuse" and so many people are staying in abusive relationships. I just cannot get it, why would you stay with someone that verbally and physically abuse you? You are the victim, you need to move on, get the F*CK out as soon as possible. Even in a marriage this is not acceptable, get your kids and move on, there's no other way - or contrary, live a life of misery and control.


Xe


Edited by xela007 (06/23/13 02:40 AM)
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#15390 - 06/24/13 05:10 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: xela007]
crocodile Offline
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Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 329
Quote:
Basically psychosis is the loss of touch with reality, hence psychopathy can be well put under this axis.

I don't think they suffer from psychosis. They know the reality they just don't understand the normal human emotions (which allows them to use these emotions against you since they have no compassion). But they see reality just fine.
When it comes to dealings with a Psychopath you're totally right. You have to selectively become one. As soon as you realise somebody is a Psychopath you either go to NC or when it's impossible you should get rid of all the feelings towards this person - they will only use them against you. It's sad and hard to do for a normal human being (especially when they start the crocodile tears act - we do feel empathy and it's hard to ignore somebody who looks like their unhappy) but the only thing that works.
I remember my Psychopath when I was crying and upset - he would just sit there and stare at me with his blank eyes and occasionally even a smirk and how it made me wonder how he could be this way. I used to think he was just overwhelmed and didn't know how to respond but now I know it was just fascinating for him. He loved watching me cry and act out and often provoked situations like this by saying something incredibly hurtful out of the blue and watching the reaction. Now if he would try the sympathy card with me I just have to remember this stare when I needed sympathy and that would be the end of his game.
Quote:
I just cannot get it, why would you stay with someone that verbally and physically abuse you?

It's difficult to understand but I believe it's a normal psychological phenomenon. Some people compare it to the Stockholm's syndrome and being through it myself I believe it's not far fetched. I mean the abuse is not something that starts immediately - first you have a seemingly normal relationship and then things start to go wrong. And it happens gradually so at first you explain them away, make excuses for this person since you know nobody's perfect. But the longer it lasts the worse it gets but it's usually when you've invested so much into a relationship, emotionally and sometimes also in terms of legal and financial commitment that you prefer to wait and hope it changes. And then there is all forms of psychological abuse: gaslighting, convincing you that it's you who's the problem, isolating you. In the end the victim does not know where to run, often does not have any outside support (like a woman with kids who has not worked in years and has not financial independence) and even worse: believes that she does not deserve any better. It's seems crazy and incomprehensible from the outside so I think no one who's ever went through it can fully comprehend. And also there is probably a psychological component on the side of the victim, like there is a "victim type", people who are more likely to suffer this kind of relationship although I think nobody's fully immune.

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#15429 - 06/30/13 01:01 PM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: crocodile]
xela007 Offline
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Registered: 06/13/13
Posts: 134
Crocodile - you are completely right - a similar syndrome is developed in an abusive relation with a Psychopath. (similar to Stockholm syndrome) I believe that even this syndrome is developed out of fear to NOT get hurt even more than the victim is already i.e being hostge, being beaten up and so on. I know what I went through and why I was acting the way I was (part of my conscience was telling me to hit the bastard with a baseball bat over the head and stop the smirks and manipulation right there in that minute smile

Cheers
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#15557 - 07/13/13 07:11 PM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: xela007]
galetre Offline
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Registered: 02/11/13
Posts: 34
That's where I am. I am afraid to leave, b/c I am afraid of what he would put the children through. He has in the past called the police and told them who knows what, but they showed up, ready to take me to jail, take him to jail after I told them he had threatened to kill me, and take my then 9 month old away. The only reason they did not was he agreed to go spend the rest of the day & night elsewhere.
He has many, many, times threatened me with this scenario, saying he will have me arrested, take our son away from me and then put him up for adoption. I am afraid because he is an excellent liar, (putting on that face & charm, etc.), plus I don't want my children to suffer. (I have 2 older boys from my previous marriage)
As I am typing this, it just sounds sickening...I can't believe it myself. How did this happen?
I am completely isolated from the help of family and friends, and am currently working from home, making about $100 per month. I sure hope that improves. Nearly every time he leaves the house I think, maybe he won't come back, but he always does. Nearly the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that he is gone so much of the time, my small business, and my internet friends. Otherwise, I'd probably go crazy myself!
He has just stopped taking his meds. It's been about 2 weeks, and I'm kind of relieved b/c he wasn't taking them regular anyway, so they were just constantly jerking him up and down. Today he is experiencing a severe episode of mania. He was literally running around the house for about 10 minutes this afternoon shouting "GOO GOO GA GA!" over and over and over again. Scary stuff. I'm sure he is bi-polar in addition to the psychopath stuff. I'm afraid of the severity of the depression that is sure to follow. Last night he said a few evil things to me when I came to bed. I didn't let it get to me. I just rolled over to the edge of the bed, reminded myself that he's a psychopath and I shouldn't get emotionally involved, and went to sleep. Wish I could do that every time!

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#16077 - 10/10/13 08:22 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: justinruch1180]
toomuchstuff Offline
member

Registered: 09/30/13
Posts: 38
[spoiler][/spoiler]THIS THREAD MAKES ME LAUGH I don't mean I am laughing at anyone's pain and struggles it just some of the translations are right on the target! Mine Would tell me you don't really love me when I would say I loved him .... One day I said you don't really love me to him when he said he loved me. This was his reply --I KNOW BUT IT SOUNDS GOOD---


Edited by toomuchstuff (10/11/13 08:22 PM)

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#16528 - 01/29/15 07:46 AM Re: The psychopath to human "translation" manual [Re: crocodile]
loveofdaisies Offline
member

Registered: 01/20/15
Posts: 11
Quote:
It's difficult to understand but I believe it's a normal psychological phenomenon. Some people compare it to the Stockholm's syndrome and being through it myself I believe it's not far fetched. I mean the abuse is not something that starts immediately - first you have a seemingly normal relationship and then things start to go wrong. And it happens gradually so at first you explain them away, make excuses for this person since you know nobody's perfect. But the longer it lasts the worse it gets but it's usually when you've invested so much into a relationship, emotionally and sometimes also in terms of legal and financial commitment that you prefer to wait and hope it changes. And then there is all forms of psychological abuse: gaslighting, convincing you that it's you who's the problem, isolating you. In the end the victim does not know where to run, often does not have any outside support (like a woman with kids who has not worked in years and has not financial independence) and even worse: believes that she does not deserve any better. It's seems crazy and incomprehensible from the outside so I think no one who's ever went through it can fully comprehend. And also there is probably a psychological component on the side of the victim, like there is a "victim type", people who are more likely to suffer this kind of relationship although I think nobody's fully immune.


I know this was written two years ago but it is so incredibly on point I can't believe it. I feel like I'm reading a blog written about me.

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