Hi Kiki, you are one good fighter)

If I am not asking too much, how did you meet this guy and the front end of your relationship for it to get this point?

Di

Hello, all. All this talk about "beating the Psychopath at his own game reminds me of yet another saying,"When you wrestle with a pig, you're gonna get dirty"!!

I know everybody's circumstances are different, and I know had a lotta luck on my side when I packed up and moved out without warning a year ago. But from my experience, I just can't understand why y'all would want to "beat him at his own game." I still think the best advice is (1) TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, (2) RUN, and (3) DON'T LOOK BACK!

Here's the update on the Psychopath's activities. In the past year, I understand from various sources (this is a small community, remember) that he has "dated" at least six women - and currently is high and dry, without a woman on his arm. He looks awful - even Ps lose their good looks when they drink too much and take up chain-smoking. I, on the other hand, have been pumping iron, jogging, swimming, dropping weight, and sleeping soundly - and folks tell me I'm looking great (now that's a sweet form of revenge!). Also, he has been attending the Catholic Church (after having burned his way through the Presbyterians and the Methodists). Recently he told a group of the Catholic women that the Episcopalians (my church, where we attended when we were married) "held a meeting" and "voted him out of the church"!!! He's even losing his "silver tongue" - his lies are getting more outlandish and unbelievable.

Anyway, that's my idea: "Living well is the best revenge."

He worked with another friend of mine on & off for 20 years in the union. So he gained confidence by virtue of my other friend. My other friend is my main witness as to what transpired. And I did finally get the complaint filed today & to the sheriff for service. Court date is almost two months away but getting him served is the main objective. So I am pleased but really emotionally exhausted. I don't expect that he would be served by my birthday which is Easter, but then again, as I previously mentioned, that company is huge so they may go there almost everyday.

Hi Kiki, thanks for your reply, just out of curiosity and you certainly don't have to anwswer, how did he get you to "loan" him any $. I am always looking for ways that Psychopath's dupe victims. How long did you date? I presume you dated or am curious his method of getting $ from you. Like others you are a very intelligent person so this topic of how they worm their way in is of interest to me.

Di

I did not date him but was fond of him. He would stop by our home a couple of times a week. Later, he was on the verge of eviction & actually was crying that his son who was in special ed & already a year behind would have to change schools, etc. Later found out that it was for conduct disorder which you would know is a prerequisite to an adult antisocial personality disorder diagnosis. Later than that discovered that defendant psychopath went to the same school for conduct disorder! Also had discovered that defendant psychopath was functionally illiterate, which commonly goes along with said diagnosis. I did actually put in the complaint an allegation essentially that I discovered that his high school education was at a special education facility that he attended because of conduct disorder which is considered the childhood equivalent of antisocial personality disorder & is a prerequisite to an antisocial personality disorder diagnosis. Nothing about the kid of course, but how I finally found out was when he was talking about his kid and commented how he had went there for the same thing & he had showed me the kid's records at some point previously. He had previously claimed to have attended & completed high school at the school where the special ed kids would otherwise be attending. I guess their diplomas give the name of that high school. (If that is so, I don't think it's right or fair that a functionally illiterate individual obtains the same diploma that everybody else does). And, as you know, antisocial personality disorder runs in families. I personally believe that it is primarily if not always genetic, especially after this fiasco. Also, his kid is a son & it is more common in males than females, as are other types of retardation.

Well, hopefully I do not cause him to keep abusing me. I do know though that at least partially of what you said may be correct. Sometimes, I think that his girlfriend may have been one of the factors to his abusive behavior, she would give him crack, and make attempts to get him addicted to meth. She had reasons for wanting to do such wrong things to him though. I remember those times where he raped her, and attempted to rape her. There was a time where she almost killed him with poison because he abused her and me; the place he stayed at though for the poison help made his living to continue. Some of the things i did to him though I think would help prevent his abusive behavior like that time where when he was attempting to rape someone, I tried pushing him in the fire that was still burning, even when the wicca ceremony has been ceased. If I never pushed him away he may have actually raped her that time. And, sure he didn't fall in the fire very unfortunately. If he fell in the fire maybe he would be dead.

In some cases though running does not always work. I could of tried running whilst feeling unconscious due to lack of oxygen while in the lab room. I think zipping a plastic bag over his head till he's passed out works a whole better. That's just how I work though. Some people may be better off running from him, or using other techniques to escape from him.

THE BEST WAY TO BEAT A PSYCHOPATH AT THEIR WON GAME IS TO BE HAPPY. MINE LIKED TO DRIVE ME CRAZY. I USED TI TRY TO TALK THINGS THROUGH WITH HIM OR GET HIM TO BE HONEST. LATELY I CALL HIM ON HIS CRAP HE'S DOING, AND DON'T LET IT BOTHER ME AT ALL. HE'S A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR. FINALLY I JUST REMIND HIM EVERY SO OFTEN THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS. AND SO I CAN'T PAY TO MUCH ATTENTION OR GIVE HIM MUCH FEED BACK. BUT I'M REALLY SWEET ABOUT IT. i SAY LYING IS HIS PERSONAL PROBLEM AND IF FEELS THE NEED TO DO IT. I JUST WON'T LET IT BOTHER ME. THIS DROVE HIM CRAZY. ANY WAY I COULD CATCH ON TO HIM TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME, I'D JUST GIVE HIM THE OPPOSITE REACTION HE WAS GOING FOR. YOU CAN'T DO THIS LONG TERM HOWEVER. AND I DON'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIM SO IT MAKES IT ALOT EASIER. TODAY IS DAY TWO OF MY NO CONTACT. THE LAST THING HE DID TO ME HAD ME DEAD BUT BREATHING. IT WAS PURE SADISM. HE'D BEEN RELISHING IN THE FACT OF HOW MUCH HE HAD AFFECTED ME. TO DAMAGE ME FOR LIFE I'M SURE WAS HIS GOAL. I WROTE HIM A GOODBYE LETTER AND INSTEAD OF TELLING HIM HOW HURT I WAS OR WHAT AN A.. HOLE HE IS. I TOLD HIM EVERYTHING THAT I HAD REALIZED HE HAD PLOTTED OUT AND DONE. HE HAD NO MASK IN THAT LETTER. AND THEN I SAY SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED. EVIL HAS NO POWER ONLY THE POWER WE ALLOW IT TO HAVE. SAID GOODBYE, AND TOLD HIM I HAD THE BEST DAY AND THAT I HADN'T BEEN HAPPIER SINCE THE DAY HE WALKED INTO MY LIFE. I REALIZED I WAS WISER AND STRONGER THAN I'D EVER BEEN BEFORE.AND MORE SELF CONFIDENT. SO I WAS GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I'D LEARNED WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE UP MORE THAN AN ILLUSION IN MY MIND. CAN'T HAVE A BROKEN HEART OVER SOMETHING THAT NEVER WAS. ...I WAS LYING OF COARSE I'D NEVER BEEN MORE SHATTERED IN MY LIFE. BUT I REALLY DID THINK AND FEEL THESE THINGS TODAY AND I'VE REALLY BEEN HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME. I'M SO GRATEFUL I FOUND THIS PLACE. I HAD BEEN READY TO LEAVE HIM FOR A LONG TIME. I JUST COULDN'T SEEM TO DO IT WITHOUT HAVING ANYONE TO TALK TO. SO THANK YOU EVERY ONE! !

hi stephanie how are u nice to meet u.i have a expsychopath in my life and he do the same as to lie all the time and i know it when he gets me made i start to yell at him but asu said the best thing to do is to be happy i will try that as well he just gets under my skin and it makes me sick i would like to her from u soon thaks

Ya I get o positive streak like that sometimes. But the truth is, I can barely function. His lies have blown my mind. They have obsesses my mind for so long. I only realized how much it bothered him after I said that and he got really uncomfortable. I feel like I am in a daze all the time. I don't know If I can tell the what my own reality is any more. He seemed to control me even more than before when I told him I wanted no contact. I gave in. I could feel him around me all the time. He peaks in my windows. The world around me starts to fall apart and I have no control. I don't know what he's saying to people but I can tell Everyone is questioning me. But no one will say anything to me about it. When I try to talk about it their response sounds like they knew what I was going to say before I brought it up. And act like I may be the one who is delusional. I feel like to keep him thinking there is a possibility with us is the only way to protect myself from loosing the last of what I have left. I can barely function properly though. Because his lies I cannot comprehend. How someone can lie to my face like that for long periods of time about things that would hurt me very much. It's made me doubt my worth as a human being. I feel like I can't pull out of it. I'm to afraid to try to meet new people to break out of this isolation. But no one can understand what I'm going through. There is no way I can explain what he's done to me. They will just make some excuse for it to be able to understand it themselves. I feel so stuck right now. I get the worst fear when I go to make no contact. I can feel the negative energy start to swallow me up. I don't know how to break free of this.