Hi Sahmera

It’s surprising how much these kids have in common. Just like you, my mind is jogged when you write about your experiences. The kid was such a convincing liar as well as capable Oscar quality acting that we got him enrolled in acting lessons with the local theatre company. We thought that may be a way to lead him towards a career in the future. He was supposed to be so keen but was soon kicked out for his bad behaviour as well as for refusing to take part.
My partner didn’t even have to raise his hand for the kid to throw himself out of the way. In public he often raised his hands to cover his head as though he was used to being beaten and we would look around to see who had threatened him.

His father had never even smacked him once and I certainly wouldn’t hit someone else’s child, especially him. If I had started to hit him I wouldn’t have been able to stop. We didn’t have serious physical aggression from the kid, he was covert and did things behind the scenes. I did see him once bullying another kid at a vending machine. He was trying to make the boy buy him something from the machine and when he saw me approaching he immediately changed and turned on the charm. He did once physically try to stop me opening a drawer in his room but he was not very strong and couldn't stop me and got very angry.

He was often sent home for being spiteful to the little girl next door, he seemed to pick on small children. He was very small for his age so all his peer group towered over him.
The worst thing he was caught doing was trying to tip my baby niece out of her buggy onto the road. He wanted to push her but ran off ahead to try to do it out of sight. We thought his one saving grace was his interest in this little one but now I feel that it was an unhealthy interest, almost a fascination. I’m not implying he would become a paedophile but it did cross my mind.

That is crazy that your boy has clearly stated his doesn’t get on with his counsellor and no-one listens….for whose benefit is this? It’s more like being for the counsellor’s. Does he really believe he can change someone’s sexuality? He must have some divine qualities that no-one else has. Does he think he can also influence how tall someone is going to be …or change their eye colour? Surely his job is to support the boy, not oppose him. My friend’s son used to cross dress in his sister’s clothes at home and we all accepted it and didn’t even notice. He didn’t do it anywhere else so he was never in a position for other kids to make fun of him. He turned out to be a lovely young man and I haven’t a clue whether he still does it and I really don’t care. He was never frustrated by people trying to change him so his personality developed as it should.

Do you think you will have any success getting the boy a counsellor who can support him?

Regards
Jan

We are currently working o getting him a new counselor but they are coming from a new angle. Of course they are. . .If he can't tell his counselor he doesn't him what makes you think he wants to stay living with you until he goes home maybe he doesn't want to live there and is afraid to tell you. I told them to ask him, this is for him and if he is uncomfortable in my home then he needs to leave. He wouldn't be the first nor the last to say he wants to live somewhere else. I don't have a problem with it we are temporary parents to support the child's needs and wishes.
My daughter also liked younger children so she boss them around. She would prefer to play with toddlers a the age of ten. I didn't allow it. There was one incident at a day care where she changed the infants diapers and the infant was very excited. I know my daughter and she is very inquisitive so I am sure she probably did something. The daycare provider simply said no more changing diapers not that she had permission anyway. My daughter is she wants to do something will find an innocent victim to try things out or get away things not normally tolerated by her parents. Trust me she will do everything she says she asks to do after being told no. I think what amazes me is she keeps a running tab of things I have said no to and will eventually do all of them but not in my presence. I also find it a little comical when others discover her other side, the one they deny because of her charm. It's then I get the no thanks I don't want her around anymore or will try again with her eventually leading to we can't watch her like she need to be watched or supervised.
I know when my daughter wants an argument or is going to become physically aggressive. She will position herself in a corner. She has done this since the day she walked into our home. She changed it up for a little time where she attacked wherever. But it wasn't wherever. It was when one parent was home and in a hallway. She also likes to strike from the back. It doesn't matter that I know all of her moves she is going to do what she has committed herself to doing. I may be able to postpone her aggression or oppositional defiance but she will hold onto it for weeks, months, because she is going to get back. That's why people are surprised when she overreacts to a situation she doesn't overreact she is taking advantage of the situation to complete her cycle of revenge.
My daughter is a good liar but since I know her and know when she is telling the lie she is horrible. When she tells the truth she repeats the same story no additives. The lies develop into more people, more situations, etc. She also cries when she is telling the truth because she becomes upset that I don't believe her. The cry is different from her other crying jags.
Another interesting thing about her that you reminded of is that she used to bully others. It was fascinating to watch. I could see it all before anyone. If another child had something she wanted and was refused permission by that child she would stalk them. The personal space, the "what can I say to get this kid to give me what I want look", I would eventually be the one at fault because I would interrupt her flow. She would of course take it out on me in aggression and defiance. She never would forget and when she would see the person again she would be right back there in the same situation no matter how time had passed. The kid would of course have moved onto other things not my daughter she remembers everything and takes copious notes in her head.

More later
Thank you

My partner went to see my daughter in the hospital today because I am tired of the hospital and scene and needed a break. Anyway, another reason they want to call her retarded.
Each time we visit my daughter she has to take the name tag off and play with it as if it were the first time she saw one. She will beg for it until we give it up or not.
Did I tell she gave away one of her outfits. She grew very short and frustrated with my partner's visitation with her because my partner is confrontational with her as am I. She takes more offense to her though. My partner described a game of "trouble" where my partner called herself a name and my daughter attempted to use the phrase plus added on bad mother. Wrong Answer for her. My partner told her in no uncertain terms that she was not a bad mother that if she was a bad mother she would be in foster care right now not in a hospital. The visit was horrible she doesn't have anything to say as usual she would be perfectly fine is dropped off a little goody bag and left. The usual forced conversations and "play" activities such as board games ensues with her OCD kicking in high gear to ensure all pieces are lined up. The other odd thing is she got away with stealing someone else s playing cards. She claims the boy gave them to her right before he left. Such a liar. She took them. Here's the issue. We had an older boy in our home last year for a few months until he aged out. He was into some magic cards. So of course for rewards or whatever we bought him a collectors book because otherwise he was carrying them around in a wooden box. He would organized them, traded up, and went to tournaments. If you see where I am going with this. My daughter is imitating this boys behavior to the inth degree. She again asks for items the same day she has an episode of aggression and defiance. Asking for allowance and cards, etc. I come to play a game of giving her little treats when I visit her. My partner gave her a few pieces of candy it seems to satisfy her craving to get something for a little while. Her hugs are so void of any love or feeling. So I started giving her back what she gives me. She did notice but didn't seem to care.
I don't know it is just so crazy. Anyway thanks for listening.

More Later

we went to get coulsling for 3 of our childern 2 of them we know our oldest daughter molested but the 3rd one we are trying to find out if anything happened,when we talked to the counslor and explaned what our oldest daughter has done she set up a meeting just to figure out what to do with her(the psychopath) and said that she is a rad child???she is not my bilocial daughter and i did not come into the picture until she was 2 years old.

my wife lived with her mother and step father who WAS a child molester until i met her then we started our family because my wife and her baby daughter lived with a child molester the coulnser thinks that the molester got to her when she was liveing there but that was only for 18 mounths and my wife says there were never any seign of abuse also our daughters bilocial father is a diganosed psychopath and our daughter has all the traights of psychopathy

seinse they cannot diganose psychopathy until the age of 18 are they just putting this rad diganoss so they can digoness her with something???

Hi Again, I have a couple of questions, how many years ago did you marry your wife and are you still married? Did you adopt any of these childen? Is your wife or X still in contact with her family or does she make excuses for their behaviour?

What brought you to the conclusion the father is a Psychopath - was he diagnosed and how? Does he seem to hold down a steady job? and is he still with the mother of your wife?

Did the counselor just have one visit to come to this conclusion? imo unless your wife was watching the child 24/7 how can she come to this conclusiong?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Di