It's a question that has been troubling me for years.

I understand (intellectually) that separation and indifference is the way forwards, the way to 'win' if you like. And

But for as long as he is walking the earth I know he is doing damage to yet more people. Add that to the 45 odd years of damage he has already caused (started when he was a teenager, still going strong in his 60s).

If you or I behaved like he has done, we would be so consumed by guilt and remorse, it would eat us up...it would kill us eventually. But him? Oh no, it's his life force. As long as there are people around him, he lives on by feeding off them, by consuming their souls.

The only way to drive him mad, to kill him, would be to put him in a room, on his own, and deprive him of any human contact, from now until eternity.

So, my question is, how do these people die? What kills them?

Before I understood what my brother was really like, I was fearful that if I confronted him he fall apart and commit suicide. Once I started understanding his psychopathic personality, it was kind of a relief to know that he is and was too self-centered and ultimately too self-preserving to commit suicide. It is an odd relief to write that.

Hi twin

Sorry to hear about your brother. It must be really difficult for you

To be honest, it would be a huge relief for me to find out that the person who hurt me had committed suicide. But I doubt he ever will.

God knows how he's still alive though, a lifetime of taking drugs (everything and anything from what I gather, although I'm not sure you could ever call him an addict), a lifetime of smoking, eating badly, years of asthma. Surely his body must be about ready to give up the ghost?

Maybe it's a case of his spirit being so strong? As long as there are people out there to consume, then he keeps going. He stops at nothing, or nobody (family, women, children - his children).

My brother has cancer and will likely die because of it. Throughout his life, he's used anything and everything to manipulate others. He's even used his cancer diagnosis. I may sound heartless, but this forum is the only place where I can discuss this without fear of judgment. I can honestly say that when he dies I will feel some relief. Sure, that relief will be mixed with guilt but I don't know that I will feel grief. I knew a long time ago that this will only end when he is no longer alive. And unless you've been involved with or have a family member who is a psychopath, it is hard for most people to wrap their heads around that sense of relief so I understand what you are saying when you write about the relief you will feel when he is gone.

Thank you for replying.

I understand what you are saying. Yes, like you, this will only end when he is no longer on this earth, although the damage he has already caused will affect the people he has hurt for the rest of their lives, and also affect the families, friends and children of the people he has hurt too. At least he will finally be stopped from causing further damage.

The problem for me, is that because I chose and cut off all contact, I might never find out when he is finally dead. So I think that I perhaps have to find another way of resolving it.

Perhaps it's a type of emotional bond? Something that still binds us together - something that still binds me to him. And that to free myself further from him, I need to step away from this as well?

I'm not certain if this applies with all psychopaths, but I do know that there is a concept called a "trauma bond" that can happen between a perpetrator of sexual abuse and their victims. I'm betting that the same thing can happen with a psychopath and their victims too.

Check this out ....

http://www.enotalone.com/article/4291.html

Are you an identical twin. My brothers are identical twins. It seems that one has it and one doesn't. I don't know if this is possible being identical. But the one that has it was born ambidextrous and the other wasn't. The schools always said he had ADD but I think it is more than that.

I always thought the only relief I would get from my Mother is when she died. I always thought it was sick of me to think that but it will be a load of relief off my mind when she dies. The thing is that could be a long time. I believe my Great Grandmother was a psychopath also and she lived to terrorize her family until she was 102. You have to find a way to deal with it today because you deserve to be happy and live your life normally.

Hi veronique, welcolme to our community. Tests on twins are in the works. Genes play a role and I wouldn't rule out one twin being a Psychopath and not the other one. We had a member awhile back who married a guy with twins (deceased mother) and one was a Psychopath and the other was fine.

I need to update the Resource section with what the latest on the gene studies are up to, will get to that since I haven't updated that information in a long time.

Very good perspective, otherwise your life will be ruined, no one can protect you from them my view is just because they are family doesn't mean you have to be in close contact. Being informed is where your power is.

When or if you are comfortable sharing your story we are here.

Di

Hello, I'm a new member --- still learning to navigate on this site.

How do these people die?
The violent criminal types probably by murder - stabbing, shooting, whatever.

I just finished reading SNAKES IN SUITS for the second time and contacted one of the co-authors, Dr. Paul Babiak;
wanting to know what happens to the psychopath who, say, gets a diagnosis of 6 mo to live, or ends up in a wheel-chair. I was curious to know if it would make the psychopath more amenable or nicer.
Alas, Dr. Babiak said he couldn't answer that 'cause no such research was ever done.

The other question I posed was: on average, how long does a marriage to a psychopath last before they're found out?
The answer was unsettling: it could last many yrs!

When I was young and stupid, I married a psychopath, misogynist and wife-beater --- I know, pretty stupid!
What's even more stupid was having a son with this guy who's also a psychopath, who's been out of my life for the last 23 yrs.
I think I'll stop here --- this stuff is hard to talk about.
Feel free to ask me questions.
Glad to be here!