My dad has been a 'violent criminal type' for 50 years now without anyone having tried to murder him.

I'd say he's lucky.

I don't know any criminal types, but got the information from WITHOUT CONSCIENCE by Hare and Babiak.

You could find the kid from hell in SNAKES IN SUITS, also by Hare and Babiak.

It really feels wrong and out of place to say "son" - I'll call him the "kid from hell" from now on - as I do not wish to see him or talk to him for as long as I live.

We just recently found out that my brother is in remission from his cancer but may be using his diagnosis to guilt our mother into doing things for him. He's told my friend that he is in remission and "feels great" but will need maintenance chemotherapy. He's told my mom that he has to get intensive chemo and that his cancer will never go away.

Not sure what to do with this information. I've got to sort through whether this is my mom's negativity about his illness or whether it is him playing her like he does.

I know that the only relief we will get is when he is gone. It is the stark and ugly reality of it all. It is unpleasant to type those words, but they are true. It will only be over when he is gone. Even then, we'll never get back these years with our mom.

Yes, I can't wait until he dies. Then maybe I can resume some sort of relationship with my brother, or at least try.

I don't think it is unhealthy to think the way you would be glad to wish him dead.

I was talking to my brother yesterday about this same issue. Our mom passed away before her Psychopath like husband. I didn't organize a party when he died but if you had been in the room when I got the call you might have thought I just finished a call with a telephone sales person, no emotion, I was glad he was dead, I saw a side of myself I would never have imagined, a feeling of relief. He treated my brother and I like his slaves, I was stuck because I was caring for my mother and had to toe the line and deal with him for 5 years. His evil did get a rise out of me when I got the will in the mail and guess what he left what should have been for my brother, sister and I to his drug addict daughter who is married to an x convict. I never knew I could be so angry, I actually slammed my fist down on my laptop so hard I broke a letter. You wouldn't have known it was me I was on such a rampage. And yes then I was really glad he was dead. I don't believe in being in a state of hate and develop a list but I do have one person on that list and that is just how I feel. It is a tough feeling to deal with and admit to having. I am working hard to move past it.

Twin, if I were to wager a bet your brother is working your mother for everything he can squeeze out of her. I am very sorry that it had to be at the cost of the time with your mother.

I think there is a line between wishing someone was dead and having the strength to move beyond the hate. It is tough to even believe I would have such feelings.

Di

I agree with you Diane about the feelings that these people elicit. The last time I spoke with him was last summer. He had just gotten a sizable SS Disability award due to his cancer, but he was claiming he had no money to our mom. I was screaming at him. I've got to pushed to the edge to scream, but I was screaming. Talking reasonably does no good and screaming does no good. It was then that I decided that it was best that I have no contact with him.

I know he's playing my mom again. It is so sick.

Hi Twin, I forgot to ask, have you checked out any elder abuse programs. My brother and sil did to protect her father from her crazed Meth sister and were quite impressed with their concern and advise.

National Center for Elder Abuse

Di

I do Google news alerts on topics I want to follow, might be a good one to sign up for.