Hi NotCrzy,

It was the prospect of seeing him face to face I guess but knowing what you know, you need to realise the reasons he's told you what he has and done what he's done, ie. using the old charm. Everything is about him, and him only. Know this and please try not to get further involved.

He is probably laughing at how easy it was. He looked into my eyes when i forced it. There is no question he is psychopathic. He made me swear i am his
girlfriend forever. I told him he wasnt normal and he laughed, said nothing about our situation is normal and asked me to marry him (for the 100th time).

I am definitely not coping and probably crazy.

Edited: removed details that could be identifiable re dates and circumstances.

Yeah my psychopath asked me to marry him for the first time a few weeks before I found out he was a psychopath and started my 'no contact'.. I do understand how weak you felt and why you went but you need to find the strength from somewhere to stay away from this guy.. he's not normal, you know this and he most definately knows this. No good can come from this! Has he contacted you since? Let us know how you get on xxx

I agreed to a dinner date. I cant stop loving him despite everythong i know. I ve said horrible things on this forum about and it him its all true but i still love him. Wtf is wrong with me. Possibly thats rhetorical and needs no answer.

Edited: removed possibly identifiable information. Paranoia.

Hi NotCrzy,

I won't answer that becauase I would be answering the same question about myself. There is something in our personality that draws us to these psychopaths. I've questioned my own weakness so many times, what did he see in me that made me a victim, why am I a victim? That is what we are though NotCrzy, victims/ targets
You can be the only one who breaks this cycle. Keep talking, here for you xx

Thanks i have crap internet tonight. I am not a victim especially since i know what he is. It is the first time face to face since ive known, i was alert to everything i have read and discussed. It was all there, especially the eyes and the kissing was like never b4. How can i walk away when be has a mental illness?

I'm at work, I always forget about the time difference!
You wouldn't be walking away becuase he has a mental illness, more so he can't damage you. I haven't come face to face with my psycho since no contact but I can imagine how surreal it would feel, given that I now know the truth and with everything I've read.. I know I don't know you but I can see he targetted you because you're compassionate, it was one of the reasons anyway xx

Truly suggest dont go face to face. I am a mess. He is possibly sleeping soundly. I had the worst nightmare last night b4 i posted the dream question. Its like i knew this was coming.

IMHO, the only solution is to run. You can't meet him for dinner tomorrow, because it will definitely lead to more. You obviously seem drawn to him, so that is kind of a given?

I was in a sort-of similar situation as you, because I was in a long-term relationship when i met the psychopath. I tried to break up with my partner and told her I was going to start seeing the psychopath, but she still wanted to stay living with me for the time being. Eventually, we stopped living together, but remained close friends. Anyway, the point being is that, despite the fact I didn't want it to be an "affair" situation, it kind of wound up that way because the first partner wouldn't let go. Also, for part of the time the Psychopath lived far away, so we only could see each other periodically. Every time we did see each other, it was this fabulous, romantic, dreamy situation for the most part.

So, I think part of the allure of the situation is that it is like that... romantic, intense, temporary. But, if you were actually to LIVE with the Psychopath or be with him in a stable relationship, most likely it wouldn't be quite the romance you'd expect. It'd be a lot of giving and not much getting in terms of emotional support. That is when my Psychopath relationship went south... when I actually had emotional needs and troubles in my life, so some of the focus and attention of the relationship had to be toward me. Instead of giving it, she just went to someone else whom she could take from.

In other words, instead of looking at it as this one time meet-up, maybe it is good to purposefully think about whether you would actually want to have a life and future with the Psychopath, give up your marriage. If you think along those terms, maybe it is easier to just say 'no' when it comes to the dinner. Being with a Psychopath is an addiction. After the first kiss, you are a goner! Your hooked! don't let yourself be hooked and reeled in like a big fish.