Hi, it is never too late, make sure you get a qualified PI, look for a retired police officer. I would talk to the local police about your case and concerns, please know that it may take some work to get to the right policeman. We have a problem here with a drug house and I had to talk to several to get their attention.

It is never too late, I have read stories that when a body was exhumed it was in excellent condition. Some tests can trace elements of poison that stay in the system, the skin and the nails.

The cases I have read and seen all it takes is one good police man on your side to investigate. These victims were under the radar until the families got suspicious because others weren't suspicious because the health problems had gone on for quite awhile so when the person finally unfortunately died it just got chalked up to bad health.

If it were my brother I would dig for the truth. Even if you find out there was nothing there at least you can rest knowing you did all you could for both your brother and your family.

I would guess your mother is acting like a victim because she is actually a victim. Who knows what evil things maybe subtle your sil is subjecting her to.

If there is ever a way to access the house while your sil is out I would personally install smoke detectors that are cameras so you can log in via your computer and see what is really going on. Now you have to also protect your mother. If you are clever about it you could install them and tell your mother they are better to protect the house from fire. Maybe to not get your sil's attention have a professional install them. There is a link here to buy them they are around $50

Di

Thanks Diane. I am definitely going to get onto this. I'm so glad that someone is encouraging me to do something about the situation. I've been trying to convince my sisters that we need to. Will let you know how I get on.

Hi vusly, I am very glad that you are going to pursue this, you have to protect the memory of your brother and now your mother is in danger with her in the house.

If you have any questions about how to interview a good PI so you don't get ripped off, please ask and we can brainstorm some questions to ask to make sure you are in the right hands. I am sure they can get to the right information about any insurance money and since the inheritance will be given to her children soon if they aren't protected she will figure our a way to rob them.

If you can't convince your sisters is there a reason why you can't do this on your own? If they don't want to go along then I would drop the conversation with them so no one tips her off about what you are investigating.

Something is very fishy about this deal. Then her actions at the funeral only add to my list of things that are way off.

Di

I see this was posted long long ago, but my family and I have a very similar story with my brother and his psychopathic wife and we are in desperate need of help. He is 28 years old and is very ill and only getting worse. He has PTSD and was injured I battle, but he was not as bad physically a few years as he is now and ever since he met her. By the way, he does have life insurance and she runs all his finances, including every dollar in his pocket. My brother is under her complete control and will believe 100% what she says. Their stories sound out of this world. I am tempted to make him aware of this but I know it will only turn him against me. We need to find a way to open his eyes and start him on therapy as soon as possible before it is too late.

Hi ScaredS, welcome to our community.

Not sure what to say without more input from you when you are comfortable. Is he estranged from the family and what are some of the things that lead you to believe his wife is a psychopath?

Di

My story rings very similar to this story. My brother met a woman who is almost certainly a Psychopath. When they met, he was a healthy man, still holding some wounds from his divorce. He was financially comfortable and retired young.

In 2 days from today, he is set to go back to her care after nearly dying again. My brother developed a rare autoimmune disease. Last I saw him in March of this year he was nearly dead. He would probably have died within weeks without intervention. I sat for 9 hours to get him admitted to a University hospital. He has been in the hospital followed by nursing facility for 6-7 weeks.

My sisters are completely taken in by Hurricane (our nick name for her). On the other side is his sons, grandchildren, brother, his wife of 50 years and me, his youngest sister. He had set up a trust, will, powers of attorney before he met Hurricane and fell ill. She tried unsuccessfully to get those removed. His family still holds the financial reins. 3 years ago, She took him out of a nursing home when he was delusional and married him. He doesn't remember getting married. She was appointed medical power of attorney. She does not get him the care he needs. She is obsessed with control. The elite doctors at teaching hospitals who can treat him do not yield to her. She resists dealing with specialists. They live in a rural area. It is inconvenient for her to take him to see the doctors who are qualified to treat his disease. He sees quack doctors who prescribe Malox when he has serious digestive issues in addition to the autoimmune disease. After his first bout, a teaching hospital in NC with specialists in his disease had a series of follow ups and routine tests. None of these were done.

Of my siblings, I am the most educated. As financial planner, I see the financial red flags of elder financial abuse. I did a background check. She has been charged with forgery, elder abuse, threatening a motorist and various driving with out a license, insurance, tags... Most everyone related to her (ex-husband, brother, former boyfriend) have a rap sheet. I checked my own family and found nothing. The data seems reliable.

I hired lawyers. In North Carolina marriage holds lots of power. Crazy or not.

We got him away. He was getting healthier and had appointments with specialists. A divorce was pending, he just had to stay in his home state long enough. My sisters kidnapped him and sent him back to NC with Hurricane where he stayed for 18 months. A family friend was concerned for him and brought him to Florida, where we undertook getting him proper healthcare. Sending him back to her is a likely death sentence.

I am not one of the fiduciaries. I would take this on and get her out of his life. She threatens and intimidates his son, who has authority. It makes me sick to send him to what is probably his death. She threatened to burn down his house in NC, if he leaves her. He has diminished capacity. She gaslights him constantly.

No one else can stomach taking her on... He was declared incompetent. He cannot make his own decisions.

My sisters who drink her cool aide say she will take good care of him this time. Isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result?

I have lost my sisters who have their own problems. I believe my sister's ex husband was a Psychopath. He molested her daughter when she was a teen. In spite of their flaws, they are my older sisters. Now they are toxic. At least one of the sisters has stress related health issues from this experience. Spending time with a Psychopath will make you sick.

I have blocked Hurricane from calling me, her email address is coded as junk, and I haven't spoken to her or my sisters in about 2 years. Yet, they are still out there, harming my brother. I have little power to fix it. I have even distanced myself from my brother. He calls when he's well enough asking for me to pay for things for them. Though I love my brother, I don't get involved for my own sanity. I have teenage children. I need my time and attention for them.

He says he loves her. I think he is afraid to be alone. His family would support him with care and companionship. They too have teenage children and a business to run. He takes a lot of care. In NC, he sits in a chair covered in urine and feces. He develops severe bed sores.



Cinnamon

Hello Cinnamon,

It really is something that your own sisters are willing to send him back to her "care". It doesn't sound like his son is much better. Really in all these years, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this one. Is his son the one who holds the power?

What can you tell me about his autoimmune disease? I am assuming he was healthy when he met her. I always somehow think poisoning when I hear these cases of the primary caretaker like his wife having control and the victim seems to recover when they aren't in control.

What I wonder about is if she thinks by staying married to him somehow she must have some plan to get her hands on his money. Or.. wondering out loud if she has taken out life insurance policies on him. There must be some end game she is up to. I am guessing it is probably a combination of insurance money or length of marriage to get access to the money. Jeez. This is awful.

In what context does she mention burning the house down? Is it in writing? I am not following this threat. Is there any way to get some sort of injunction to get some time on your side?

I am thinking that in a court case you might need an evaluation of her. I can certainly get you in touch with the best one in the field. Time is so short can the attorney put in an emergency stay on the basis of elder abuse?

Di

Hi, thanks for adding more details. It is very common for people involved with psychopaths to have their own serious health issues. It can certainly cloud their ability to think clearly. Psychopaths do look for a profile and your sister is sure the wrong person to be in the decision loop over another psychopath in the family.

I understand you have contacted an attorney there. What would be an outcome that would work for you? People as sad as it is will stay with the abuser. It is the abuser who seeks out people that they can manipulate.

What do you think is in it for her? If the money isn't something she can access then do you think there is life insurance or some other scam going on?

Are you in contact with his son who has the financial power?

I am in contact with his son and daughter in law. They are successor trustee, power of atty, hold title to the house, etc. I don't know what she is up to precisely.

She is in her 50's and he will be her second dead husband.

He has autoimmune encephalitis. A rare strain. Most people don't die of this disease if they get proper care. We managed to keep him in a nursing home for months for rehab. Then he was with his son last winter.

I know she tries to use him to get money from me and other family members. My sisters are not well off. As the most well to do, I am a frequent target.

Cinnamon

Hi Cinnamon, I hope his son will help you keep him from being returned to his "wife". I think in a lot of cases women get overlooked for evil behavior. She is quite young to have one dead husband in her past. I just keep thinking she must have some financial reason for wanting to keep him under her control.

As a wife does she have some sort of legal standing that could possibly override the existing estate - prenuptial arrangements? I would guess the lawyer you have in that state would be able to answer that. I have no idea how you figure out if there are life insurance policies but if the estate is beyond her grasp that is what I would be thinking about looking into. I wonder if there is a way to get in touch with her last husband's family? People who are evil do usually follow patterns of behavior.

Di