QueenofherCastle,

My heart goes out to you. I wish you the strength and endurance needed to get yourself and family moved to a different residence many miles away! Far enough away to make you at least a very Inconvenient target.

To escape from the phone shenanigans, maybe you could use a pay-as-you go cell phone for the real estate stuff?...one of those that you buy at a store and load minutes onto. And...maybe you alert your realtor (and everyone in her office) to NOT share that phone# with your MIL? Tell the realtor your MIL has bouts of Dementia that her meds don't totally control... or anything that will help the realtor cooperate with you. I mean, if you think you can tell the realtor your MIL is a psychopath and that will work, go ahead and do that, but if you're afraid the realtor will suspect that you're unhinged, then offer a reason you feel she could easier understand and accept.

About your MILs verbal assaults on you and your kids...you are already avoiding the woman to the greatest extent that you can, but she still finds ways to come at you and your kids. Can you simply refuse to engage? Her assaults are all about provoking a response. If/when she flies off the handle say something like "you're upset and angry and I can't talk to you so I am leaving now," then turn and walk away...disengage. It's harder for kids to do that than it is for adults, but it's important your kids to learn that ANY verbal defense they attempt, any verbal comeback on their part, will feed the crazy-fires ...and you all want to be about snuffing out those first flames instead of feeding them.

Best of luck and I hope a buyer appears soon for your house!

Thanks so much Kate,

Things are much the same, the house hasn't sold, we are hanging on by a thread so to speak.

We thought maybe she was relenting abit when she gave my husband keys to his large shed so we could start packing,

But he put the keys hanging in the door while he was sorting things out she took the keys back!! We haven't anymore keys as she changed the locks one morning when I was at work. When we asked why, she said the children aren't allowed in there!!

I don't understand her logic, she is running out of things to do to annoy us though, and I think it's back firing!!! It's really true, the less contact, the less in control they are!!!

The only thing lately which is worrying me is I think she may have somehow got her hands on our post office mail key. As we have the same surname I think she may have gone in and said she has " lost" her key and now has key to our mailbox.

We have had documents regarding our house plans and permits go missing, and now we have delays because of this, Any viewings of the property she tries to make at the most inconvenient time for us, (either when my husband is asleep) he Works night shift, or when I work on weekend, so,that means I get up at 5.30am and have to have the house looking good, with The others still sleeping. Now I message real estate and just say this doesn't suit. I'm not going to,play her games anymore!!!

With Christmas arriving shortly and also my husbands 50th birthday, I'm sure she will try and cause havoc, but we will just have to see. We are going to my mums and I will be setting the alarm on house in case she tries to get in.

Once again thank you, Hope everyone has a safe happy and peaceful Christmas.

Queenofhercastle

Sorry you haven't had any offers on your house yet. Hang in there.

Good for You!-- NOT letting your MIL dictate inconvenient times to show your house.

In MY experience, once I disengaged and stopped responding to my Psychopaths mean- nasty-manipulative provocations ... he got loonier. My refusing to get sucked into arguments with him put him on starvation-rations. Psychopaths "feed" off of your emotional reactions. They cause chaos and pain (to others) because THEY need it, like a baby craves it's security blanket. When you disengage and don't react to them, they starve for a power-fix. Their craving propels them into doing some pretty bizarre things to feed their need. That's what I meant by "loonier." Changing the locks on your shed and saying it's because 'the children aren't allowed in there' could be a loony-meal. Your kids aren't little kids, right? --no logical grounds exist for her statement.

re: "We thought maybe she was relenting a bit when she gave my husband keys to his large shed so we could start packing. But he put the keys hanging in the door while he was sorting things out she took the keys back.....and she changed the locks one morning ..."

I don't understand about this shed. If it's HIS shed, why does she have anything at all to do with the keys and locks? If he's the owner, he's certainly got the right to cut her new locks off with a hacksaw or chain-cutters or whatever, install new ones, and put the new keys where she can't get her hands on them.

re: "I think she may have somehow got her hands on our post office mail key. As we have the same surname I think she may have gone in and said she has "lost" her key and now has key to our mailbox."

You can probably find out by calling the post office, whether they issued another key for your box. If they did, you can ask for a box reassignment, (a different box# and new keys), and warn them about your MIL.

Psychopaths are clever at exploiting normal people's assumptions.

Hope your husband's 50th party went smoothly and no trouble from you MIL!

Hi all, haven't been back to this site for so long, but did eventually move.
My MIL did the most horrible thing imaginable to our eldest daughter.

We went away over the Xmas break, I returned with the four children, while my husband
Stayed back at our caravan, he had extra holidays and had jobs to,get done there.

On the Monday before I was returning to work, my eldest daughter rang her work to
See what her shifts were and what time she needed to start on the Tuesday morning.

She was on the landline talking in her bedroom, when she came out, covering the phone
Saying she could hear my MIL on phone talking about us!!! She was apparently talking
To my SIL (her daughter). My daughter could hear her saying how dreadful my husband
Looked, how the children were all no hopers, my mother was referred as "the old girl"
She went on and on just saying mean and nasty things, my daughter saw red and said
She was going to confront her!! I pleaded for her not to, but she said no one talked
About her family like that. With that she knocked on her door with younger sister with
Her for support. She answered the door and looked surprised. My daughter said "I heard
Everything you said about my mum and dad, and I don't appreciate how you tell lies
And gossip about my family" It got heated and I went across and said to her to just leave us
Alone and stop talking about us. She screamed and I screamed, the girls screamed.

The next day my daughter went to work and two police officers came into the surgery
Where she works. She said she had never been so embarrassed!! They said they could
Charge her with taping a phone conversation on her mobile!! My mil had gone to the police
And with encouragement from my SIL tried to press charges against my daughter. My
SIL is ex police officer and must of told mil that it's illegal to tape phone calls,so
That's what they tried to get her charged with!!!

I had to go to the doctors and get two weeks stress leave. I rang the police but they
Obviously were on mil side,I even asked how they knew where my daughter worked,
They said they told them, I said we would never reveal where my daughter worked to them,
The next day, my mil,left note on my car saying the telephone company would of called
Police!! How ridiculous! She then preceded to take the "Permit plates off my daughters car,
Probably hoping she would get booked for driving without them, she would wait at the
Gate early in the morning for my daughter to drive through and just stare at her.
We got a rental house, and although it's a struggle financially, we have peace, and the
Children are happy, we are happy.

It is far from over, the property still is for sale, and we still don't know if we will get our Money when it's sold, but at least she is not going to do any more harm to our family.
Thank you everyone for your support, I still suffer with the anxiety and palpitations
But will not let her destroy us.

Oh for my husbands 50th birthday, she left a dirty old card saying "have good birthday,
Take your family and leave" This is one nasty, evil person.