Brokengirl 21,

"Psychopath"s use these threats as part of their manipulation. From what I have read, real "Psychopath"s rarely follow through with these threats. If your life should be threatened on the other hand- I would take that seriously.

Protect your emotional and physical self from this "Psychopath". Read, post, heal, be safe.

warrioress,
wow you have no idea how much your helping me. ive never wished death upon anyone, but i wish he had never come to life. his existince has caused me misery. Im SOOO sorry about your ex! thats shocking, its disgusting to think he got away with doing all those sick things. im glad we've both joined this website, its the biggest form of comfort. im always here to talk to you too.

Since my last post, everyone has found out that he faked his own death. I can honestly say i have no feelings left for him. But right now the thing thats hurting me is alot of people are saying I lied about his death. which makes me sick. all my 'friends' have turned their back on me, harrasing me and other horrible things.
I feel so alone and i feel as if my life has been completely destroyed. Ive got nothing left. I geniunely feel that way. My whole bodys in physcial pain, and i feel as if ive just come back from hell.
Despite all these feelings, im determined to get my life back on track again. i just hope the past doesnt come back to haunt me......

I listened to the song 'Breathe' and it was really good, its defiantly something all us victims need to do. Breath and know its not our fault.

I dont know you too well, but all im going to say is your a really amazing person, and a great listener, your advice has helped SO much. You deserve an amazing partner, and I hope you keep safe and well.

Thank you so much,
XO

1962,
Thanks alot. It sometimes does scare me that he might come back and hurt me. But i realise that if I have No contact (which im doing right how)
then theres no way he can hurt me at all.
Its so hard, but ALL i need to focus on right now is making a good recovery, and this means posting on here.

I completely relate to this, as likely does everyone on this site. The alleged 'friends' are not your friends, I suppose these are mostly Fake Book friends ?
You are young (I think?) and have many years ahead to forget about all of this one day, be happy and have real friends, a good partner and maybe some loving pets, kids, all that life has to offer. It just takes a little time. As far as physical pain, there is no matching the intelligence of the body, rest and listen to it. Eat well, drink water, stretch. Stress does a big number, so treat yourself with nurturing care, as hard as that can be. Al Anon groups can teach you this.

In the meantime, tragedy is a good marker for inner reflection, setting up strong boundaries and learning what is acceptable and totally Unacceptable in a relationship. This also means who your friends really are, Block the harassing ones since they are just stabbing an open wound, and some people are like this. Even animals attack another wounded one sometimes. It's primitive behavior.
A Start Over is a hard thing, but not the worst thing that can happen in life. Many of us obviously Needed the wake up call, since we were all putting up with too much abuse before the S. finally hit the fan.

In my grief, as I'm more open to listening, people have shared things with me they were keeping to themselves as well. I have learned a lot about some horrible events some of my friends and strangers have been through on many levels. It's been enlightening to me that I never paid that much attention, nor could fully understand before. It's made me a much better person, albeit a bit more emotional. I also notice I have less room for any BS in my life.

Thanks for your nice comments, but I'm also struggling, sometimes I'm shocked that I wake up every morning. But what I'm going through now is nothing compared to the grisly fear in the days with him and the black hole in my insides has finally dissipated. I still cry, but not for me, for my dog.
No happy days yet, but sometimes I get to laugh for a few hours with a good friend, a relief. This will come for you too.

It's a testament that all these things never broke anyone on this site. We just get up and do the best we can. You too girl!
I know youre gonna be fine one day. Give it some time.
Best wishes.

"In my grief, as I'm more open to listening, people have shared things with me they were keeping to themselves as well. I have learned a lot about some horrible events some of my friends and strangers have been through on many levels. It's been enlightening to me that I never paid that much attention, nor could fully understand before. It's made me a much better person, albeit a bit more emotional. I also notice I have less room for any BS in my life."


Warrioress,

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and I think a heck of a lot smarter.

I agree with your other post that said we are lucky to be here and alive. Of course there are days when I think it would be so much easier to give up and give in, but I know that there have to be better days ahead. It was my counselor who said he was seriously concerned for my personal safety- he thought that since I knew the "Psychopath" for so many years (30+), that I would let my guard down.

I'm more realistic now and know I can't be alone near or with him. I watch out who I tell my location to and I think truthfully that is a good idea for everyone on this site to consider. You never know how long the "Psychopath" will hold a grudge.

Hi Warrioress,
Your completely right, those girls are all fake friends. And that's the last thing I need right now. Right now I need good people to surround me and show me what real care and love means. Think I can get that from my family.

I am very young (under 20) and I've got an entire life ahead of me. I'm a student, and I used to get straight A's. Not I'm getting bad grades, such as C's. This really upsets me. I know its because of my personal life, and its too late to go back and change my grades. I'm also ashamed to tell my parents that my grades have gone down.

Another problem I have is that my parents (who I live with) don't know all this has been going on. All they know is that I was with some guy, who wasn't the nicest. I can't bring myself to tell them. I know it will break their hearts, and they won't be able to deal with it in the correct way.

I'm starting to take care of my physical well being as well. I've heard he's got a new girlfriend, though she can't talk english too well, and they've never met. I have a really big feeling he will try and get me back, because that's what always happens. But there's no way on hell I'm going back to him.

I've had the wake up call. I know the way he treated me was NOT acceptable at all. That wasn't a healthy relationship. That was a relationship which destroyed me and tore me apart.

But I need to stop thinking so negative. Its a blessing that I'm still alive, and he hasn't hurt me in a physical way (e.g. Beating me up, like he did to his ex)

I think experiences like this does make victims less tolerant to BS. But Warrioress, I want to tell you your suffering has inspired me to take action, and recover, and heal. And that you didn't suffer for nothing, your story (what I know about it) is a uplifting one, about how you can bounce back.

This experience has made me want to listen to other peoples pain and troubles which is good. I think by time, that pain will have eventually heal. It will only be a scar, and that scar is part of my life story.

Thanks warrioress Best wishes to you too!

1962,
All I can say is WOW! 30+ years? That's a long time to put up with a Psychopath. I'd only had him in my life for like 10 months, and I'd been completely torn apart.

I agree with you tho, you don't know how long they will hold grudges and that scares me. I guess all we can do is rebuild our lives and stay safe.

Hope your doing well xo

brokengirl21,

My story seems different than most of the ones here. I was love bombed for sure, but when we moved in together we seemed to be very compatible. We got married a year later, had children, and did the usual family vacations, holidays ect. Everyone thought (including me) that we were the best of friends.

It wasn't until our 30th anniversary that i realized that he was obviously involved with someone else- (how or where I'm not sure as he was always home to me each night). I'm pretty sure it was with at least his secretary and I'm sure there were/are others too. But again, he was home each night acting as the loving and dutiful father and husband. No one would ever believe that he was capable of what he'd done to me.

I can't imagine 30+ years either. I only knew mine for 2 years as one of my best friends and then 3 or 4 months as my boyfriend and that ripped me apart too.

Apparently I played the part of succor- a safe place where he returned to each day. I was a stay at home mom and we had a pretty good life together. It wasn't until the last few years when I suspected his infidelity that I began to learn what he was doing, what he was capable of and what he was willing to do to keep it all quiet.

Friends have told me that they wished they had a relationship like ours- we did everything together and seemed to be best friends. This of course has made it extremely difficult to accept the reality of what he was all along.