Hi Darth, just saw on the news an update about what looks like a Female Psychopath might just walk and also get the 2 million in insurance money. Her lover and her boss was convicted but convinced them he was insane and won't testify against her, probably still under her spell.

If you are interested there is plenty of info about the case online by doing a search for Andrea Sniderman. Have followed it for awhile, she took the stand and was pretty interesting to watch, pretty good actress.

Di

Oh btw, she hindered the investigation by about 6 weeks by not saying anything about her boss/lover. Then the topper is 2 days after she had the cash in her hands (it is now frozen) she told the cops they should check him out.

oh man, this [censored] does deserve a really good working over, I mean prison and cold showers daily. Arghh sorry I got annoyed with this story. :--)

Xe

Agreed Xe, she is pure evil. We are in one sense fortunate with the Internet we can watch these people online, truly disgusting what she did to her kids. When they blow away the spouse it is bad enough when they involve the kids it is a whole other level of evil.

Di

Hey, all, I will look into Sniderman. I just spent a nice week on vacation in the tropics. The kind of thing I could never do with the psychopath on board.

But she was a busy girl while I was away. It's really like watching someone use a Psychopath handbook. I am glad it isn't happening to me but my buddy, whom she is currently going, well, psycho on, had some some trouble. She has apparently learned it is best to set up her target and not to assume nice = pushover like she did with me. She admittedly blind-sided and burned him by going on the offensive before he even knew he was in trouble (She ran into a wall of defense that I'd quietly set up in advance when she tried to burn me last spring.) I have not taken part I am just trying to help him get her out of his life. She is no more intelligent or charming but seems to have developed reluctant "followers" over the last year or so. I don't know how to help him out. I am trying to stay off her radar. I hate to admit that hearing she has been even worse to the those who came after me makes me feel better, but it does show her true nature very well and released me of any doubts that it could've worked "if only I'd". For the first time I feel emotionally free and it feels good to help someone else get through the experience, especially when it's the same one. Not going to pretend the vacation didn't help me either. I feel so refreshed and back to being myself. I know for sure it wasn't me, it's her, and she is an anomaly, not normal.

There is the matter of love bombing though. Just have to get used to a normal woman's idea of showing interest, as opposed to the aggressive and obvious pursuit a female psychopath uses. I'd love to have a woman's perspective on the difference as I focus on the future and getting back out there to give love another chance. :-)

Hi Darth, great to hear you had such a wonderful time, good for you.

What is going on with your friend who she is involved with? Is he looking to you for support? This can be an icy road because she has probably set him up with all the things about you. Keep in mind that as long as he is with her Psychopath's have a very tricky way of getting information about you and could drag you back into the loop. Unfortunately,friend or not there will come a time that unless asked sincerely you can't protect others from her unless they want help. If he is looking for support that is great, however he better be very careful she doesn't get pregnant, could be his worst nightmare come true. Even if he sort of wants help I would pound that message into his head and even if she says she is taking precaution she might just be lying.



I think that is pretty normal, imo, I know when I found out there were other victims for a few seconds I felt glad but then I returned to myself and found myself not doing a cheer, but getting back to the present moment. The only thing between having my head spin off through life is getting back to the present moment. Sometimes I go through what I call my re litigating phases when I go through the past like a detective analysing every detail and then catch myself and snap back. I tell myself I am fortunate the past is just that, the past. Sounds simple but it is life's work.



How about if you give us a list or some idea of what kind of things you used to have happen with her, for example, you might ask us: is it normal for a woman to text you every 20 seconds, lol, I am sure you get the idea.

Di

Thanks. I posted a couple of times my first night there then didn't think about psychopaths until my return, other than to watch out for them in the streets of Honolulu. But I do that here.

Was involved with. He came to me after she inexplicably turned on him and vacated the premises. We were cool back in high school. I left my junior year when my dad got transferred. It is a uniquely named place and as soon as she saw it she knew we'd known each other. Once he realized who she'd been married to he began questioning her crazy stories about me, because it didn't match what he and others remembered about me (that I was a nice person who went out of my way to be friendly and considerate to others.) He was very confused about what had just happened to him. I was aware they were dating but no contact is no contact, and I was wary of a trick until we talked on the phone. Then I found out and started helping him put everything together. Then I began helping him defend himself since I am familiar with her tactics. She has grown much bolder than she was with me but he said just today it's been very helpful for him as well, talking with me, and he's got things back on track. Just...she's still playing games with him. He is trying to bore her into going away by not responding emotionally, only with facts and short statements. He is actually the one who led me to this forum after I recommended lovefraud to him. We've been comparing notes, even as to how we screwed up and fooled ourselves along the way.




Just the amount of attention. She didn't text that much but she did pay a lot of attention. I guess I'll have to determine how much is too much but a lot of the women I am friends with now say things that baffle me, like, "I walked by and looked at him and then sat there, totally available for him to come talk and he didn't." And I'm like, "Well, did you smile or anything? Say hi?" And they look appalled and say something like, "No, you guys are supposed to chase us. We can't go around being that obvious or doing something crazy, like making a move." To which I always wonder, why not? Asking out a woman you like is actually really hard when you have feelings. She can crush your hopes and dreams with one word and sometimes you just don't feel like getting rejected that day and pass on the opportunity. To a woman, as I'm interpreting it, me not coming over is a "rejection" even though by my standards she hasn't put herself out there so I wouldn't see it as one. Something like that. :-)

Anyways, thanks Di

That's the thing with Psychopaths - they always have to escalate and get worse each time - that's this need for stimulation that can never be satisfied and they always want more and more. I know I've set the bar pretty high for the next girl so I'm super afraid what he's going to do to her but until now it's the honeymoon phase.
I sometimes wonder myself what would be worse: to see him happy and perfectly normal with the next person or to see this other person suffer as I did. I guess I'd actually prefer the first thing, it'd make the whole relationship with him less empty and meaningless if I knew he may not be a real Psychopath. But I doubt that will be the case. I know I'm not the first one and likely not the last.
It's hard for me to tell you what the difference is since I've never seen the female Psychopath in action. Maybe you can describe what exactly she did?


There is no simple rules I guess - some women are more bold, some are shy. I usually am the least attentive to the guy I am interested in, subconsciously, since I am shy. I usually smile and talk to everyone else but the person which is not very helpful. But there are girl who will come up and start a chat if they are interested - that's just different personalities. You can't spot a Psychopath base only on that. But it's always nice when a guy comes up to you and tries to pick you up, even if you're not interested so I guess there is nothing to worry about.

Exactly hearbroken,


That is exactly why I think it is a mistake to think there are so fewer women than men, women abuse in different non physical ways which really can be worse if there is such a scale. I would rather have someone give me a punch, at least I would be able to pinpoint the issue. With women they are not likely to hit but hit in a deadly way all the same.

Di

I think they abuse physically as well - there is data that most of the domestic abuse of kids is done actually by women. Women just keep it at home when it's easier to sweep under the rug. I'm not sure if there is so much difference in the male vs female Psychopath to begin with, they only learn to adjust to the society's view of the sex roles.

Helpful to know. About men? While, this is how I see things. I would assume that, if you are talking to everyone else in the room and ignoring me, that I have no chance. I always look for smiling, eye contact, some sort of sign that yes, she noticed me at least and might have some interest in chatting. You have to remember, that as a man - and there are even non psychopathic women who do this - if I come on to you and you're of the opinion I've done it too strongly or you just feel like being a jerk you can make a scene and I can end up in jail, thrown out of the place, or beaten up for my trouble. So if you're ignoring me or are non responsive I would quickly leave you alone because I don't want any problems. A psychopath, a narcissist, or a creep might keep pushing but a nice man will not; he will respect your boundaries and react to whatever signs, physical or verbal, that you give him. If you give nothing or ignore him how exactly is he supposed to know you like him? I have heard this before and just do not get it lol. Most men will not walk headlong into a rejection if they think that's what's coming. I mean, who would?

My ex-spath didn't love bomb me to the extreme I have seen others mention. She was really only a little more attentive than other women I'd dated in regards to being friendly and with calls and texts at the beginning. I think that's because she pissed me off the first time we met and I'm pretty sure she watched me interact with my best girl/friend, who also happened to be roommate at the time and the spath was around a lot then, and she could tell I had a thing for the roommate (who was not available), they looked similar, and she took on the roommate's visible personality traits. Which meant being too aggressive was off the table. Well, except sexually, but I was in college. Plenty of not-crazy girls showed about the same amount of restraint there lol.

The ex-spath lovebombs the hell out of people now, though. I saw her do it when we broke up last year and she ran up my phone bill.