Hello everyone, I just joined. I really want to talk about my mother because I'm convinced she is a Psychopath. My memories fro
Childhood include daily verbal abuse, name calling, public ridicule, and constant favoritism shown to my brother. I am the oldest daughter, and I've always had a knack for books. I made straight A's as a child and when people said I was smart, she would say not as smart as her brother. My mom is very tall and physically beautiful, and I am short and chubby. She always pointed out I was fat or a pig in front of people, even boys when I was a teenager.
My mom married an ex con drug addict who touched me on more than one occasion inappropriately, and I think my mon got mad at me when I told her. When it happened when I was fourteen, she told me to go and live with my grandmother who was mentally disturbed herself.
On top of this, my stepfather had numerous affair and my mom would stalk the women and fight them in front of me when I was little. She even got into a fight with my stepfather and shot him 3 times! He came back to live with us after that. My mom also was a cleptomania. Who took all 3 of her kids with her while she went on stealing sprees. I could go into more detail, but I'm tired of typing. I have now grown up and made my own family, but mom tried to take my children. She made a false police report and called DCS stating that I neglect my children. Despite all that, I started back talking to her, but have yet to receive any type of apology or acknowledgement that the things even happened. I want to stop talking to her completely, but my kids love her. What should I do?

You should protect your children from her. The only way you can do this is to stay away...no contact. She may turn them against you. They don't understand her problem. One day they will love and appreciate you for it.

Planetchildren

Hi I agree with planetchildren. Keep your children away from her!!

If I had my chance again I would never have let my MIL near any of my children. She has tried to manipulate
her way into nearly aspect of their lives. I am so lucky that they have now seen through her!! She would try
and "buy" their love, it worked for awhile but not now. But the heartache she has caused is endless. I will
never forgive the pain and suffering she has caused my children, especially our two daughters.

They are cold, heartless and evil people, and do not deserve any recognition of their existence. I live on the
same property as my MIL and ignore her on a daily basis. I get stronger every time I know I have ignored her!!

Please take care, thinking of you.

Thanks for the support, because no one seems to understand. Everyone keeps saying, "Thats still your mom." I'm just tired of the way she makes me feel. I'm pretty much done. My kids ask to see her everyday, so it's difficult.

That's because no one does understand. Just think about how long it's taken you to come to the realization of what is going on. It was the same with my d-i-l. I really thought that she loved my grandson. But I know she doesn't. She damages his soul every chance she gets. Others just don't get it. But you do, and that's why you have to protect your children. And that's not wrong. It's the right thing to do.

Good luck,

Planetchildren

I am not sure if she is a Psychopath but some of her behavior seems very deceptive and without remorse.

She has been abused as well, so I wonder, as I was told, she walled off her own experiences and acted out.

things she has done that seem without remorse:

- physical abuse, encouraging others to abuse for her, while she watched
- when physical abuse occurred in the house she seemed more concerned if the furniture got damaged than if I got hurt
- I would get physically/ verbally attacked out of the blue by my brother. He would not be blamed, I would be blamed for being crazy, even if I was just sitting there saying/doing nothing to get hit.
- ignoring mental health issues- depression/panic/ ptsd- that was bad enough other people noticed.
- dominating my life. dictating how I dress. setting impossible standards that resulted in homelessness/ threats of foster care/ involuntary committment.
- smear campaigns that went to great lengths. As a youth it was school counsellors. It seemed she would get to them before I got to them to tell them what's going on.
- there is other stuff that just seems devious involving sexual abuse; it seems like a poorly formed attitudes around sex, like blaming a young teen over the aggressive sexual come ons of a 30 year old man, and forcing her to accept it by calling her a whore, and inciting younger family members to do the same.
- not being allowed friends. forced to be home at 3pm from school. not allowed to go anywhere indefinitely for being "bad."

other "Stuff" she has done:

- financial abuse. forcing me into such dire situations, where the common goal seems to make me out to be victimizing them. So when I end up homeless on account of their behavior I'm bad.
- lying about money. using ones inheretance.
- gaslighting: this I am not sure of, but I notice that arguments would start over minor things, then blow up way out of proportion, always about what kind of daughter I should be. I notice she would lie when these arguments occurred. She seems to accuse me of narcissism, only going after what I like etc, even when that is not the case.
- suspected tampering/discarding necessary medications that force me into semi crisis state if I can't get a refill/ or that might force me to miss work.
- a nasty jealous streak. If I achieve something that she cannot, the put downs are awful- I'm worthless. whatever I do that's good is only a one off/fluke because I am nasty anyway.
- lying, knowing she will get away with it, then using documentation that makes me look like I am throwing empty, jealous, greedy accusations- playing me off as the villain.
- when confronted about the child abuse, she never apologized, just called me a liar, played victim, called the accusation "nasty" then chided for using a swear word.

I left that situation. I left behind many things so she could not hold anything over me. I told her to have a yard sale, and to donate whatever inheritance I get to a child abuse protection agency that helped counsel me through what she did. No "I am sorry." just how that is such a nasty thing to say, and "well, have you calmed down yet?"

My mother is a psychopath. Not diagnosed, but she has so many traits there is no mistake. She tried to kill me as a child. She is lying, deceitful and hates me, though others see her as a lovely person. I can't see what they do. She had my brother and father against me as well and I was blamed for everything growing up. She is never to blame for anything, including her rage in private and her tantrums in public. I could go on for pages.

I'm now in my mid 40's. I left the state with my husband decades ago, and I now live abroad. Limiting contact to emails is the best way to deal with her and I only do that because she is with my father. I too always had the comments "she loves you deep down" and "she's still your mother". Fortunately for me, I was adopted at birth, so they are not my biological parents. My father is like her cult disciple and will do whatever it takes to please her. He used to always force me to apologise to her when she got into a rage, "to keep the peace" even if I wasn't the one who upset her in the first place. It was easy to upset her though, her rules changed constantly and were impossible to follow.

Your post just made my day. I Have a psychopath mother and I can relate to everything you said. I had no idea groups like this were out here.

Bless your heart and thank you for sharing that. It gave me the chills. Wow.

I understand the experience of having to live by constantly changing rules. Often set up so you can never succeed, and ultimately be left without defenses. I think that's what got me away from her. I crave an emotional relationship with my mother, but at the same time I feel like I have to move on and develop myself emotionally.