Hi Tang,

I know this is true of the ex-Psychopath and It is one of the reasons I believe he will have trouble reeling in a victim he can keep for any length of time. He lives in a single room apartment that he never cleans, he is happy to live with festering dirty dishes, unwashed clothes, sleepin on the floor. His diet is poor, lives on high fat low cost takeaway. I didall his housekeeping, managed his mail/appointments/bills, and cooked. He will not do this himself, but a victim would probably need to be well-hooked before they are prepared to deal with his filthy lifestyle. He will bring himself to paying someone to clean his apartment, especially if he can exploit them (eg paying an immigrant very low wages, or having them commit to the job then cancelling when they arrive at his apartment).

He considers women his own age (almost 50) to be too world-wise and "asexual" he will be looking for an 18-22 yr old ( preferably who has a histry of abuse). I can't believe there are many young women around who are interested in a much older, averagely attractive man with poor hygiene, living in a dump and no ability to satisfy a woman sexually. (gee i make him sound like a real catch!) His best options are trying to reconnect with old victims, I think he will persist with me for a while before he succumbs to cleaning up his life.

Jeez, that's really spooky, you could be describing my dad there (minus paying for the cleaner).

Yes this must also be a trademark of a Psychopath.
My x-Psychopath-friend came to live with me for 6 weeks after his house burned"wich he did for insurance money but failed" still the insurance company had to fix his house and while they were fixing it he and his son lived with me. In the beginning there was no problem he cooked for a few days and my house was almost tidy when i came home from work,but they cant hold a mask for a long time and to my surprise he always sleeps in his clothes,so eventually my house became messy and dirty and i of course had to clean and do everything along with buying food (he doesent have a job and brags about being on welfare) so when his house was finally fixed i was so happy to see them gone from my house.

Now his house is dirty,messy and disgusting because he never cleans it.
After the insurance company had fixed his house perfectly and payed him for the stuff that burned. he became so angry that they "ripped him off" and should have payed him more, i knew he burned it himself and i am scared to tell anyone that because i knew, but did not report him,i am even not feeling good telling this here but, man....it does feel good to get this bad secret off my chest

How is this possible that these Psychopath-people can have this hold on you??

Tang

When i detail how he really is it is amazing he had (has?) a hold on me. They just seem to play so hard for that hold snd know exactly how to get it.

Re:paying for a cleaner - I think it gets to a point where if u want to get laid you have to be able to find the bed He is literally a multi-millionaire - why he chooses to live off charity, in sqaulid conditions wearing clothes with holes and eating crap is beyond me. He really has no desire or skills for hygiene and selfcare and is generally too stingy to pay for help except when things become desperate (eg moving out of a rental)

Hi everyone, wow, you've chosen an hilarious aspect to discuss at the moment; the squalor, the descent into depravity! Isn't it amazing??? My researching reveals this to be a classic Psychopath trait. It's described as a deliberate self-destruction as well as an attraction to depravity; the former being about choosing (thereby maintaining control) to live in a way that engenders pity - because it does, doesn't it? We see them and pity, thinking they're eccentric or something, and want to look after them. That's one of the ways Psychopath first got me in. But it's more attention-seeking, nothing less. And often a sort of 'tantrum', a reaction to their previous dumping by partner/job; they choose to opt out of society for a while and wallow in their rage and self-pity. My Psychopath began to live like this after being dumped by previous wife and kids. Don't get sucked in; sounds like none of you are, though.

Funnily enough, my Psychopath is home here at the mo; he disappears five days a week to his squalid, TOTALLY FILTHY flat in the city; so bad, the smell prevents me from entering. The estate agent is about to turf him out, I suspect (hope not; that will mean he'll be here more often). The main house, here, is okay as I keep it that way, but he keeps trying to bring junk home. I've read that they are attached to stuff as it represents their material security; they trust objects more than people, and tend to objectify people, too. We are all possessions, ladies, and let me tell you - when I turfed out his broken metal detector that he'd found on a junk heap, he was ready to kill me. I'm clearly not worth as much as it!

Thanks for sharing so much; it makes me feel much more normal to know I'm not alone in this.
Kezza

keeza please think twice about your child.

(How do you guys put the quotes in boxes?)

Children love their parents NO MATTER WHAT. You can never outsmart a Psychopath. please read the posts from the children of the Psychopath. The damage is done to every fiber of their being. It goes beyond anything imaginable. Plus, no-
one will believe it. Because fathers LOVE their children.

Read my posts. I have no siblings anymore. He's damaged them all. And the efforts he's made to steal my son from me are awe inspiring. What i finally realize he did to my mom.. she was fragile and dependent. and he never allowed to 'parent' us. She completely gave in. But you won't and he will screw with you and your parenting forever. Wait til you have a teenager who is looking for someone 'who understands them'... won't have to look far, cause daddy's there. he understands like mommy doesn't.

Keep reading. It will hard enough if you walk away, but the day to day interaction between your child and father.. they are slick... every button will be pushed..

Look at the children here.. People well into the second 1/2 of their lives and still reeling from the impact.


Note, Hi, you use the " button and it will show as ['quote] ['/quote] and you put the text in between. I put a ' in front of quote or I couldn't show you the command. Di

I had two lightbulb moments. First, the teenage Psychopath, my BFs son, would destroy things for no reason. For example they had plastic Gumby and Pokey, for some reason in their bathroom. The Psychopath ate them, spitting out small pieces and swallowing others. Weird, however one day the Psychopath destroyed something that meant a lot to my BF. It was a gift from his mother and the Psychopath took a permanent marker and marked all over this gift. I tried to clean it but could not get all the marker off. My BF asked his son why he does these things. He claims he doesn't even remember doing it. We thought the truth was he just didn't understand that objects have value to others. He never valued anything. That was a lightbulb moment. I thought maybe the child had a mental illness.

Then a second and very bright lightbulb moment came a few months later. The Psychopath stole rings from a friends parents. These good people phoned my BF and said that his son stole two of their rings from their bedroom. They were not home at the time. When they got home they saw a strange hoodie in their bedroom and then noticed their rings were gone. They asked their son who the hoodie belonged to and it belonged to my BFs son. (absolutely horrible criminal)

The Psychopath walked in wearing the man's ring on his hand. He at first lied and said "oh I just wanted to try it on and forgot I was wearing it". These good people were at the time on the way over. They said they wanted the rings immediately or they would call the police. My BF told his son that, my BF put out his hand and said "both rings in my hand now". The Psychopath pulled out the woman's ring from his pocket, and also took the man's ring from his hand and put them into his fathers hand. He didn't have anything to say about taking these rings. No reaction at all.

My BF saw the good people's car pull up to the entrance of his building so he ran down with the rings. Very embarrased he apologised. When he got back to his apartment the Psychopath was in the shower and the Psychopath was singing. Psychopath never had empathy, embarrasment, never cared at all that these people had not called the police and that his father was so embarrased. He never said thank you, he never said sorry. He just sang like he always did in the shower and then went to bed. When my BF told me this story he was in shock and confused about why his son was this way. I was certain something was wrong with the teenager. I was still thinking some sort of mental illness,or possibly fetal alcohol syndrome. Now I know he is a psychopath.

It's described as a deliberate self-destruction as well as an attraction to depravity; the former being about choosing (thereby maintaining control) to live in a way that engenders pity - because it does, doesn't it? We see them and pity, thinking they're eccentric or something, and want to look after them. That's one of the ways Psychopath first got me in. But it's more attention-seeking, nothing less. And often a sort of 'tantrum', a reaction to their previous dumping by partner/job; they choose to opt out of society for a while and wallow in their rage and self-pity. My Psychopath began to live like this after being dumped by previous wife and kids. Don't get sucked in; sounds like none of you are, though.


How terrifying that I completely understand this. Psychopaths seem to have an ENDLESS sob story. In my case, it was his lack of recognition as a musician, the misunderstanding of people due to his 'passion', the constant struggles in his life and being thrown out of apartments and dumped onto the streets.

After actually living with him, I realized there was a reason that almost everyone wants nothing to do him.

Hi, Samantha here..

My Light-Bulb Moment in a series of Wattages...

My Clueless Moment:

February 5th, 2012
1a.m., Sunday night, during the last Super Bowl.
I had to call the police, because my neighbor's loud music and Superbowl enthusiasm
awoke my son. Once the police left, the music was turned up even louder,
I thought, great, inconsiderate neighbor,popped in some earplugs and gave up.

Now, that it is summer, ( and, oh yes, a hell-a noise this Spring as well !) the noise met a crescendo
several weeks ago. Screaming, yelling, loud, TV, ( now named the Psychspot, located in the garage)
Oh, and by the way, Mr. M appears to be a "Friendly, Sociable Psychopath", because several voices
are heard.

10 Watt Bulb
Backyard is now quite, only his wife's voice is heard, calmly telling him,
that " I have had enough, you need to get a job, and jobs will not come to you".
Clearly, I thought, why is she speaking so quietly, calmly to him, when he has awakened
everyone in the neighborhood, and, have had the police come as well.

Trying to Process the Clue
Our new neighbor located next door to Mr. M, has screamed, "Hey! , Stop!" to him, several times, because
he had no thoughts of upsetting her dinner one night at 6:00pm. Oh, and his dog was barking as well.
I believe he actually apologized, but unsure if neighbors' were convinced of his sincerity.

40 Watts
Spoke to neighbor on left, this past week, and she informs me, "Mr. M", awoke her with his loud talking,
radio, and TV on. She told me this party was on a Thursday night, nearly 11pm.
She stated the music stopped right away, once the police arrived!!
We both believed this noise issue now over....

It is now one week later and Saturday afternoon, and Mr. M, and his Sociable Psychopaths decide, it is time for revenge,
no stops were pulled, yelling, dog barking, woman's loud scream, to me tolerable, at this point. This party started
at 3pm, and, is 97 degrees with likewise humidity.
I noticed my neighbor's arrived home, I'll call them Mom & Pop since they've been my neighbors for over
twenty years.
It appeared that the Psychopath-Party attendees noticed their arrival & the noise became even louder.
Unsure if Mom & Pop noticed this party, or, just were to tired from their travels to become involved.

75 Watts
Now nightfall: 9+ PM
The barrage of insults begin, Psychopath-Partiers out in full force.
Thought I heard someone scream, "I can't sleep", and,
"don't worry, I'll just wait until Halloween...", vaguely heard several personal attacks flung, such as,
"a redhead, that's right, I have seen you in the streets, freak!"
I realize, that I, am now the target for Mr M's short fuse, full-on melt down.

100 Watts
This chaos continued for some time, I hoped the party would come to an end, but now boards, or wooden
sticks are being added to the cacophony. Neighbors down the street, having a pool party, are heard saying
"You're Dead", or, "Drop Dead".
Mr. M raging, loud words are mumbled..
Wife is heard again, (through the now lower mumbling) once again, helping him calm himself down...
These words, in a soothing manner "Stoooop~ Stooooop~ok now~stoooop~

200+ Watts
I get it now, Light Bulb full on
I am living, along with all my other neighbors with a Psychopath.

What do I do now? do I warn my neighbors? Involve the police?
My DH tells me to lay low and allow Mr. M to choose a new target.


Samantha

My lightbulb moment was when he accused me of manipulating a guy that I had started seeing after we broke up. I broke up with this guy because i saw my ex while on holiday and he cried, sobbed and balled his heart out declaring how much he wants us to be together, so I broke u with the "new nice guy" because i felt that i needed to give it another go with the ex.

He continued to accuse me of other things and suddenly it just clicked that he was seriously crazy and not just paranoid.

I made the decision then and there to never associate with him again. That was the last time i spoke with him but we still communicated through text messages. He had employed me into his company (now i know it was to control) so i had to get my tax group certificate off his accountant. He withheld it from me for as long as he could but now i have it so it's goodbye.

The problem is though that i am still very disturbed from the things he did and said to me that i cannot sleep and get on with life.

I am seeing a counselor but all she does is listen and doesn't seem to fully understand the terms related to "psychopath or Psychopath". I think she is actually learning things from me as well.

I really am disturbed by him and every night something else that he has said or done comes to me and i wind up going over it in my mind.

It's horribly and i just want to remember who i was and get back to that.

Thanks for reading

Lauren.