Alright, forget it, the letter PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP equals psychopath. It wasn't exactly what I meant, but, whatever, you got what I meant.

Dear Di,
Since we got on the subject, is it possible that the promiscuity only began to show after we seperated? I never had any reason to believe that he was unfaithful while we were living together. I do know that before we were married he insisted on using condoms and led me to believe that he was using caution for both unwanted pregnancy and stds. However, I do know that it was brought up in the court of his divorce from his 1st wife that she was tired of having anal sex so maybe this is just his fettish?
Guess there's all kinds.

Lolly

Speaking from experience...I have not been exposed to anal sex for a prolonged period of time, however; the few times I have aloud this to happen I have noticed that I have less control over gas it just might come out whenever/?/ Some people may find that funny but I feel that that muscle has been stretched.
I do believe that area was meant for exit only but that is strictly my belief.
lolly

Yes, it would suspect it would stretch the tisses. Somethings can be dormant so keep up the testing.

Yes, I would venture to guess you just never caught him cheating. They all cheat.

Kind, nice caring people like our members don't tend to be suspicious they lead you to believe you have no reason to be suspicious.

Di

Okay this is just me venting:
Today is the day that I return to my home state. I have helped the ex navigate the moving company and all other details needed to move everything he owns back to the home state house. As I've stated in earlier posts he does not intend to remain there. He has been nothing but a model citizen for the past 4 weeks. It makes me sick but still I am unable to bring myself to say exactly what I think partly for fear of the mood changing but partly because I feel sorry for someone that has made themself believe that their complete success or failure is dangling on whether or not my presence is permanent.
I cannot help feel that I'm failing him yet again and am weak because I cannot speak up.
I know that he is just doing everything that I ask of him for the past 15 years so that he can say, "I did what you ask, now what is wrong with you?" I know that its just a matter of time before his mask melts away. I cannot understand why we cannot share our son as with normal divorces anymore than he can understand why I cannot conform anymore. He said last night that if I chose not to stay with him and our son that I should just please leave them alone from now on. In his mind our son cannot see us in seperate visits. All or nothing. I know what Violet said and I'm hanging onto it right now with my life it feels like. If I can just make it back to the home state and get away from him I don't have to give him an explaination. I tried to last night and same scenario. I'm the one with the problem. I try to tell him that it dosen't have to be this way for our son and that I can help raise him and Mr. ex says that "You didn't have to leave us in the 1st place." This is him trying to play on the guilt he knows I already have. I keep telling myself and my current husband keeps telling me that I didn't do it by my self.

I'll have to finish this later there is too much to say.

Lolly

Dear Violet,

I read over and over your letter to build up my courage to do what I knew I had to. This past Saturday I made it back to my home state driving his truck and boat while he drove his other truck and trailer. I told him I was goin to leave and offered to help him when the moving truck arrived but he told me not to worry about it that if I was going to go on, so I did. ASAP I changed my phone num. but before I could he txted me wanting to know if I was coming back to help him after he had expressed that he wanted no help. I have not been back.
My son rode all the way back with me and told me that he would not ride with dad. He was upset because he was moving again. He said that he wasn't going to move again. I assured him that I would do whatever I could to stop it. He asked me "mom can' I just tell that I want to stay with you ". I said, Yes!! But he would never say that to his dad.
I do not understand what makes us fear hurting his feelings so much. My son and I seem to handle things the same whereas we will make ourselves totally unhappy and go along with almost anything just to keep from hurtin his feelings or upsetting him.
I am out of the situation, other than going over there to collect the rest of my things, furniture ect....he threatened me so I would bring anything I owned out to his house just so my husband wouldn't have it. Now I must focus on recovering any self respect I can muster up along with focusing on getting my son out also.

lolly

PS....I dropped off my divorce papers to a lawyer to have her read over them so that she can tell me what I can do about forcing visitation. My son will be 14 in Aug. He said before I left, "Can't I just say that I want to live with you?" I told him he could.
My ex. said for me to ask our son before I left if he wanted to stay with me so I did and he said yes but he went swimming with his cousin after that and right before I changed my number I received a txt from Mr. ex stating that my son had just told him that he would going to stay with him. I suspect that he is just trying not to rock dad's boat.
My son txted me yesterday saying "I can't find anything", this means that dad is making him unpack all the moving boxes. I don't know why because he told me that he was going to move again right away.

Hi Lollly, call you lawyer and ask what the age is in your state for a child to make their own decision where to live, 14 sounds pretty close to that age. See if she can get you in front of a judge to let your son make the choice. As far as I know at some age the child can make the decision. Let us know what the lawyer says.

Congratulations for making it home, now you can focus on your son. It is great he said he wants to live with you, see what your attorney says or Google and find out.

Di

Hello,

I am new to the board. My name is "Ben" (detearing) and would like to share my experience. May I describe the details minus names, locations, etc.? I am not sure of the rules... Thanks.

Hi "Ben", welcome to our community. Yes we are here to help listen to your story and share our members experiences. Yes, please do use wording that does would not identify who or where you are from.

We look foward to hearing your story. Sometimes it is best to compose in Word until you are sure of the features, even I slip up sometimes and do longer posts in Word and copy and paste to share with the forum not the air they disappear into;)

Di