So Ive been reading this book for a while, and its written there that Psychopaths use teh same techniques people use in hypnosis...

I already wrote about how life with the Psychopath was somehow different to me, more like a dream, where things arent real, or like world with fog that covers all and not lets you see clearly. Now this has got me thinking - if its true, were we all just hypnotized??

I mean that would explain a lot, especially that craving for some feeling that we all cannot even describe properly... What does it mean to miss someone who hurt you?
Maybe we all just miss this feeling, this state, of being hypnotized, where reality doesnt exist?

What if psychopath is merely or was a drink in our hand that blurred reality and made us feel better for a while (because life as it is, is hard and "everything is everything")?

Does that make any sense to you?

It makes sense to me free bird.

One of the big attractions to the Psychopath for me, in the times he made it so, was that it was as if nothing mattered, a safe euphoric bubble where I could forget all the trails and tribulations of life and when we appeared to be so connected.

How ironic was that?!

Of course over a very short time these times happened less and less, while he destroyed all the pleasure and joy and peace from everything in my life- that was the reality, yet even now, many years later, I miss him, or who I thought he was, or at least the feeling of those glorious, safe bubbles of time. Of course all that was just in my mind, not his.

To me it is more like an addiction than hypnosis, but I had not thought of it that way before, and there is certainly that unrealness, or a feeling of being removed from reality, or of seeming things through a screen, almost as if you are watching yourself from a distance, about it.

I think it can also sometimes have elements of "Stockholm syndrome", particularly in terms of the isolation, control and dependence.

Yeah definitely, Stockholm Syndrome will be present in any kind of deeper relation with a psycho.
What amazes me is how the time did not exist much, or reality as a whole. It was like a bubble, exactly like you described it. I guess addiction is a good description also, but its not just that. Addiction you control at least to some point, or you could say you have "sober" moments when you realize how bad it is for you and with a psychopath you dont get those moments, you are in a state of "hypnosis" all the time, and that would explain why even when he tries to kill you you act as if it never happened. Its a crazyworld with the psychopath, and there is no escape from it unless someone helps you or actually forces you out.

Damn I was so so lucky that he found a new victim. I mean I dont wish anybody bad, but it saved my life...


I need to share something with you again, and I hope you will find it comforting, or at least a little helpful.
I think I managed to make it to the next "level" of the healing process. I recently was thinking a lot about the psychopath, had disturbing dreams about him, and it got me really down again for a few days. But I realized something again, maybe the same thing, but this time with a different outcome - I realized that I might relapse all my life, and it brings no good (a few really sad days every time). So I decided to just, every time those sentiments come back, to just cut it out at the start, remind myself not how my life is better now, but just remember that it was all evil. Not think about it. Not go back again and wonder(which we all do subconsciously). Just cut it as soon as it gets to your mind. Its tough, but definitely worth trying. So every time those thoughts enter my mind again I just say STOP. And not think for a while, at all, just go and do, act, without much thinking. It clears the mind, and after a minute I feel fine again.
Its almost crazy, but it works, and I save me a day or maybe more of energy loosing on this topic again and again.

I have also been reading "women who love psychopaths" - not much popular, but a great book as it concentrates not on the psychos, but on the victims, and it helps you understand your weaknesses, but also understand what actually happened to you while you were trapped in the relationship. Its a bit boring, especially at the beginning, but it is something new and I find it very comforting. Maybe thats what helped me look at the whole thing in a "cold" almost professional way. And maybe thats a way out:)

This makes a lot of sense to me, I even recently told my 'Psychopath' that he had me totally under his control whilst he was massaging my neck or scalp....he simply replied "I know".

85% of my brain is telling me this guy is just a creep \ animal etc... but there is still such a strong pull of the heart that it is crazy

It felt totally like that to me and not only - I have a good friend who is the best support I've had and she saw through him from the start (if I only could have listened). Basically when I finally realised she told me that I was all the time acting like the character from Lewis novel (The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe) who gets under the witches spell and turns against all his friends and only trusts her and believes her and does hideous things to satisfy her. It felt like that - I still cannot understand how I could on an intellectual level see and understand everything what was going on (I was even verbalizing it to my friends although I never fully realised that a word psychopath was applicable) and yet still do everything he wanted. At some point I even realised he's turning me into a bad person as I was pushing everyone away (for most of the time I was feeling guilty about worrying my family as I was getting worse and worse physically and mentally but I was still isolating them). I sometimes picture him as a snake which immobilises you with his gaze so that you can't escape even when you know you're in danger (funnily enough psychopaths were shown to be able to sustain eye contact uch longer than normal people and I know this is surely true for my Psychopath - he had these deep blue eyes and he used to stare at me with them in a hypnotizing way). I don't know if this can really be called hypnosis but there is certainly something scary and mysterious about how a person like that can keep you under a spell even if parts of your brain still think clearly, they're just being ignored by yourself.

Btw, has any one of you had an actual experience with a Psychopath trying some of the relaxation techniques and so on with you? I did sessions with him when he was trying to "help" me with me depression or whatever he suggested I had. I know these are supposed to be things that actually help people but when it's done with a Psychopath and under his control it makes me kind of scared.
Although to be honest I've never really gotten into that, never felt any of what I was supposed to feel even though the Psychopath told me of course that he did. And I was really trying - I feel like I may be largely resistant to this stuff, maybe because I'm kind of distrustful by nature. I wonder if he was lying all the way or he really believed it...
Has anyone had such an experience with the Psychopath?