Brokengirl,

I'm sorry you are going through this. You have come to the right place to find support and validation.
Take care of yourself. Read through the posts here and continue to write-

BrokenGirl,

I'm not sure why but it's always easier to see what is clearly going wrong in other people's stories than in your own>

So try reading some of the other stories in here and compare...compare causes and effects, regardless of diagnosis

Someone who cycles his 'moods' so rapidly even if he never becomes physically violent is mentally and emotionally violent

people can't see the scars but they can see the effects and gradually he will wear you down until you 'become' what he keeps telling you that you 'are'...he won't give up until he reaches that point UNLESS you stay away from him

be safe be well

Thanks Shayna, I have decided to leave him, no matter how hard it will be.
I honestly feel like nothing is ever going to get better, and I'm scared he will come after me, like he did to his other victims. I spoke to one of his ex girlfriends yesterday, and she told me how he beat her when she found out about him cheating. This scares me.
Thank you so much for your support

Wow, worrioress,

Your reply made me cry, it just brings to light how awful of a man he really is. I've found out more about his evil ways since I joined here. Lifes been so difficult over the past 10 months, im so emotionally drained and exhausted. But theres a big decision I've made, and thats to leave him. The good news is hes moved away from my town for 2 months, but he stil has my number. Whenever he texts or calls me, Im going to ignore it.

I can't tell him the truth about how i feel, how hes hurt me, what a horrible person he is, because i will know he will try and seek revenge. So im completely cutting myself off from him, NO CONTACT, what so ever.

Today i took a look at his facebook profile, and found his relationship status was in a relationship with another girl! I dont care, hes hurt me so much, I've sort of become numb.
So yeah, after 10 months, Im done. I tried my hardest, and he threw it all back in my face, which hurts so much. But your right, every day will get worse if i stay. I'm glad i joined here, everyones helped so much.

The worst part of this all is that my family dont know that im going through this, and i cant tell them, which makes things 10x worse and more painful.

Thank you for your support worrioress,your reply really touched me, and it would be AMAZING if i could talk to you for support often, as i have no one else to turn to. Im glad im leaving him, I just need to get away safely, and emotionally recover.

Once again thank you so much

Thank yuo 1962,
I find writing here and reading other peoples stories the best form of comfort, as I know im not alone.

Thank you funkyinanna,
Your right, I need to stay away from him, and thats why ive decided i will, Im just trying to figure out the best escape route

Hope you are well, and it's been awhile, how's your NC going?

warrioress,
You wont believe what has happened. yesterday night at around 10pm(uk time) i got a text from him saying hes going to commit suicide, and that he loves me, and i didnt answer, i thought he was just attention seeking.
2 hours later, someone told me he had passed away, and i immediatly logged onto facebook to see what was going on. i found about 20 status's from different people saying 'RIP'
this girl claimed that his brother approached her telling her about his death.
i spoke to his cousin, and he said he reckons its just a rumour. im torn whether to believing it or not. this is horrible, i didnt sleep at all, ive been non stop crying. is he lying? or has he actually died.
i need answers. i feel sick to my stomach. whats going on?

Oh my gosh, it was all a lie. I asked my friend to call him, and she heard his voice on the other end. He claims his facebooks been hacked, but thats all LIES.
This is disgusting. im horrified right now. I spent hours crying in my room, when he was alive all along. I feel so much anger right now.
To top it off he is now texting me saying he has Kidney Cancer, and these are his last days in hospital.
This is insane. Hes evil and sick and twisted.
I had my last conversation, in which he broke up with me, and said we should staty friends. I said okay and stopped talking. I know hes gonna want me back, he always does. Thats his game. But im done.
I was done a long long time ago. Im glad hes moved, right now i just need to get on with my life, i need to be healed. I still feel as if it was my fault. I should have never got myself involved with him.
Im glad im not putting up with this s**t anymore.
I just need to heal. I need to recover xx

Ok. If he kills himself it's just better for the whole planet.... never mind for you, but alright, that's my angry side. I only wish they would do themselves in.
Suicidal threats are Constant tactic in my experience, for months, with a really ACTIVE/violent -but also crybaby , cowardly type and I've know a few different types, more or less. Family, relationships etc.
My current ex was really active, so he wanted to kill me, my alleged 'new boyfriend ' (he knew I didn't have), then himself. I guess he saw that as crime of passion stuff, I guess if he kills me, but fails to kill himself -he'll have some sicko text and VM defense. IE: Insanity.

I Do think that At Times the 'unexperienced' or younger psychopath understands, realizes what a monster they are and since they have to work really hard to keep up the farce, they just cant deal with being who they are. Hence, they are All OVER the Place and completely out of control.
I suspect this is your Exspath situation.
Sometimes I think they really DO want to suicide or other options: suicide by police or that someone else put an end to their suffering, like being shot for doing something totally unacceptable. I think this, because my Ex Knew I was fully armed, knew I had a police complaint out on him, but came to my house and threatened me, stalked me and tried to break in, regardless. He Totally KNEW I could shoot him dead at any time.
His fear was not death, at all! His fear was prison. So, he fled when I didn't shoot him, but called the cops instead.

My ExSpath, when he was 'out of control' told me to 'Stay away from him, that he was a BAD person who had done horrible things and he deserved to die'.
He threatened suicide many times. He had done horrible things, some I kinda know ( murder) and much more I will never know. But stupid ME.

Now, because he got away with Everything, he just laughs his ass off. He was testing me, and EVERYONE, the court, the jail, the cops. I always said to his therapist, he is using Me to Self Destruct, trying to take me with him, but I refused. Now, maybe I wish I would have, because it's all fallen back on me, as now he always talks about "LMAO" , which is about getting away with it once again.

Ok, enough about ME. and what it means to be in a really BAD situation. You must understand that you are in one too. You have a psycho in your midst, and the adrenaline you are experiencing is like a drug. Its addictive.

You don't want to hit rock bottom. We never see rock bottom til you are so far in you cant get out.
A song that plays in my head all the time is Anna Nalick Lyrics to "Breathe". http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/annanalick/breathe2am.html

Keep posting love , and stay in NC as much as you can.
XO