Thank you for your thoughts on this - it really helps to know I'm not alone.

It he found out about a camera or device, I have no idea how he would react - he is an animal, and if my son was there with him, that would be too dangerous. As you say, its so hard to prove - only a couple of people have seen the psychopathic side to him. Me and his Mother - although she used to dilute his behaviour when I was married to him, telling me 'men never grow up'. A totally different issue, but hey, you know how good they are at playing the charming man.

I think you are right about his new wife, I am hoping she is 'normal', and plan to get to know her as best I can, when he is out of the country with the Army. He will groom her to relay all information back to him, obviously, so I will have to be careful what I say.

My question about whether the second marriage will be different, was meant around, when she starts to suffer at his hands, or is abandoned, as per his usual pattern, I would like her to know that she can come to me for safety. I didn't have anywhere to go for sanctuary, so I know how terrifying that was.

That's the approach I have towards my Psychopath's new GF now - she has contacted me to talk about him, she's kind of confused (you know, he's so great to her so how comes he was such an ass to me - she does not understand it yet) and I know she probably tells him everything but I don't care. I've gave her some links and told her that if she ever feels like contacting me again she's free to do it. I just want to know that if or when she is in trouble she can have somebody to help her.

I'm really sorry about your situation but then contacting his present wife can actually be good for both of you. If he's the typical case he's probably isolating her quite a bit. It may be difficult to gain her trust at first, you don't know what he has told her about you, but I guess it's worth giving it a try.

Yes, he has isolated her by moving to a remote army base in the middle of nowhere - her parents and family live abroad, so she has no-one. She is older than me, has no children, and has some facial disfigurement, so seems 'greatful' for his attention. Very sad and highly predictable for a maturing psychopath.