When I discovered my daughter at age thirty five was a psychopath I chose to have no contact after years of financial drain, emotional drain, lack of respect, gratitude and appreciation for all of the things I have done for her and my grand children. In doing so I knew I would not be able to see my grandchildren, she uses them as pawns. I have gone to counseling to try to cope but I miss them so much I can barely stand it. I had them all of the time, I taught them to ride bikes, swim etc. I love them so much and they love me. I have been the only stability in their lives. I want to know how others have dealt with the pain of losing grand kids with having no contact with the psychopath.

Hi tropigal4ever, welcome to our community. I am so very sorry to read about your situation. Personally, I have no experience with losing children. We do have parents here that show up so please be patient and hope one of them will stop by and help you with some support.

Was there a moment in time that your realized your daughter was a psychopath? It really escalates the pain when children enter the equation. Do they live close to you?

I will move this thread to the family section after you have had a chance to know I am doing so. Parents will have a better chance seeing you there.

Di

Yes they live close by that makes it even harder, I saw them at Walmart in the parking lot and wanted so much to go up and hug them and tell them how much I love them. I actually discovered my daughter was a psychopath when she kept sending my articles trying to convince me my oldest grandson was psychopath. That is when I realized everything fit her. Now I realize that is what her father was also. It finally all made sense and I could understand what I had been through with him, which was pure hell. He was a violent type of psychopath. This site has helped me to understand so much, I come here every time I question myself or she uses my grand children to get to me. I find it comforting to know that I am not the only one going through this hell. It took me two weeks of sleepless nights just to admit to myself that my daughter was mentally ill, I think I was in denial. It is hard for me to believe that my own daughter is so cruel and mean when I have done so much for her. How can a mother that knows how much her kids love their grandmother and how much she loves them to keep them away from each other. It is one of the hardest things I have ever been through.

Hi tropigal, thanks for the additional information.

I always find the gene part interesting. I wish there was more research on this but from what I can figure out there seems to be a gene connection in most members if a person stops to think about family behavior patterns. Clearly sometimes, there isn't a link but this is an interesting piece of information.

I can only imagine how it must be very difficult to see them. I hope that in any case by seeing them maybe they might see that you aren't some crazed out person she is probably telling them you are. Hopefully with age, they will start seeing things for themselves. I wonder if any of her children might have the gene? Does she have a criminal type of background just wondering how she supports all those kids. Hopefully with age she won't be able to have anymore.

One thing to clear up, she isn't mentally ill, psychopathy is in the personality disorder group. Clearly, I would find more patience with someone who was mentally ill and not like these people who are 100% evil.

I am glad the forum is helping you things have been so quiet around here sometimes I worry if there is any purpose in keeping the doors open. People do seem to be reading but not joining in. I can really understand that part sometimes it is hard for people to come to terms with what they are dealing with.

I am not a parent expect to a group of four leg kids, and I can only imagine it must be any parents worst nightmare to deal with. I can also only imagine then you put innocent children into the mix, and it must make it worse and it already is the worst thing in the world.

I am so sorry for any parent and hope that if there is anything, I can ever do as far as looking for more information, please do not hesitate to ask. I just don't know what to say, but I am very sorry to find anyone in this situation.

Di

I removed my post if my Psychopath found this site she would know who wrote it and get revenge.

Hi Tropigal, Whatever you choose to do is your decision. Please let me know if I can help you. It is always best to leave out identifying details.

Di

Thanks very much, heartbroken. I know your words help many others in your very sad situation so thanks for taking the time to help with your valuable information. We get so many parents who for many reasons of their own only come here to read so know your words are reaching many people in great pain. The pain of having one of these kids must be overwhelming and beyond anything, I could possibly imagine.

Di