Hi i am new here. I would like to share my story. I feel this is the right place.


My daughter is 12. I am a mother of 4 children, my daughter being the oldest.
I was a young mum, and recognised difficulties that felt somewhat 'abnormal' from my daughter being very young. I often dismissed this as me being a young mum, and assumed it was normal for the age. I still sought help as i struggled. Again, i thought this was due to me being young.
At age 2/3
A simple walk to the shops would be extremely difficult and exhausting. My daughter had no fear of running, and running - and clearly not stopping. It did not bother her in the slightest that i may no longer have been in sight. I quickly realised that, and spent my time running. Everytime. I tried reins, and the little backpack harnesses - she was very clever, and quickly learned how to get them off of her.

At age 4 her little brother was also up on his feet. My time outside became even more difficult. My daughter would tell her brother to run one way, and she would run the other. Which way was i suppose to go? Which child should i get first?
The younger one who has no understanding of the dangers he may face?
Or the one who has no fear and may run until she is completely out of sight and i dont know which way she went?

I had outside help come and assess, to see what i could do. They thought maybe i just needed to take the children out more. They soon realised that things were very difficult no matter what. Even in the home, she would break toys, she would kick doors (age 3/5), kick me, hit me, hurt her brother, scream as if i was attacking her etc. The assessor quickly came to the conclusion that i was not the issue and there was some psychological issues that were clear to see.

Ill fast forward now. Just wanted to show the early years of a potential psychopath.

My daughter age 10 overnight spirals into somebody i dont know. Defiant, verbally abusive,physically abusive, nasty, cold, manipulative. The sweetness that was there in my daughter from time to time seemed to have vanished completely.
It was a daily battle of having to defend myself from being hit by her hands, feet or objects hit directly or thrown at me. It was a daily battle, which sharp became an hourly battle of having to defend myself and my property. Eventually this went on to my other children who were 8, 5 and 3. She realised i was not playing the games anymore and i was not showing any emotion or reacting in any kind of way to the assaults. So she turned on her siblings.
Police were at my house several times a day.
Eventually after a battle with social services and their lack of help and support i was faced with the options of placing my daughter into care or risking child protection on my other children.
I placed my daughter into care.
She is now 12 and is currently being held in a secure unit. She has assaulted over 20 people, some of which have ended up in hospital and/or have scars. My youngest son being one who ended up in hospital.
She has spent many many hours in a police cell.

I had started trying to get my daughter into therapy from the age of 4. Nobody had listened to my concerns. Nobody was willing to help. Now my daughter,i feel, is now at a mindset that cannot be changed. Where as had people of listened to me - maybe they could have helped, somehow. Maybe they couldnt. Who knows. I would like to think i had given that a try, but they failed me and i now feel like i failed my daughter because of this.

Now i am being told there is no treatment. There is only ways to manage it. Often they will end up in prison or in a psychiatric unit.

There is no way my daughter can come back home. It seems that there is no hope for her at all.

Hi, welcome to our community.

I hope you are able to fill in some details because I am not clear enough about your situation to help.

Are you alone raising your children or is the father in the home.

I don't know where you are living and not asking but what was the process to get her into the care facility? We don't have many options here in the US so I am not familiar with how these things work.

Do you feel that your daughter inherited the gene and if so from where in the family?

Did they say why they think they will end up in prison or the psych ward? I don't know how any psych ward can keep someone forever unless they commit some crime? That is at least how it seems to work here.

Di

Hi and thank you.

I am raising my children alone.
I am living in the UK.
The police were at my home daily.

The police repeatedly reported each incident to child services. Nothing was happening. No help was given. I was repeatedly told to stay strong.
An official person spoke to me in confidence, telling me what to do.
I had to mention the word 'safeguarding' a lot.
After this - the police took police powes to force child services to act. Again, i repeated safeguarding to child services, insisting something be done as there are clear safeguarding issues here.
Child services then claimed i either have to sign my daughter over under a section 20 (voluntary care), or have my other children placed on a child protection plan.

I signed the section 20.

It is possible my daughtwr has inherited this from her father. He is very sadistic, cold, cruel and seems to have no real emotions.

Because our NHS doesnt really have the means or support to help these kinds of illness, more often than not - those suffering often go on to commit a crime, or endanger themselves too often and end up either placed in prison or a psychiatric unit.

I dont think it would be that they are kept forever, but it could be a case of repeated offences.

I can certainly relate to a lot of your experience although my child has not committed such crimes yet. Was your child medicated, has it helped? Without medication my son would be in jail or dead. My son has been hospitalized 3 times and sent to residential treatment program voluntarily for over a year. He is home now, but we are trying to get him back in a program because he is unmanageable and still threatening. Honestly, I am jealous that you have been given a way out and can move on with your life now. We long for that release. We love our child, but realize our investment in him will never pay off and he is robing our other children and my wife and I of a healthy family. Aside from that, he really doesn't care about us, whether or not he is with us, or whether we live or die. At this point we are willing to face child abandonment charges in order to find freedom from this. My advise, make the most of having her out of the house and try to give your other children some of the happy experienced they have missed when she was there.