I have not seen my Psychopath in two years. I had on my end now that I realize all his feelings were calculated, a deep deep connection with him. I now AM in the chronic depressive state since my dad died and he went back to prison. When he's in my life I feel like I can survive life, it's crazy. I don't love him for what he's done to me, but it's like I need him to survive. He is my addiction. He's wrote me twice but I never answered and I desperately want to write him about my Dad but knowing who he is now and the court order stops me from doing so. It's been 2 years how in the world can I become happy again. Also my symptoms are physical as well as mental.

Mine is a minor son, so I don't have the option of not continuing contact at this point. If I did have that option I think I would definitely keep up that boundary, or at least some kind of limited boundary like take him out to dinner on his birthday. The bottom line is he has made my whole family miserable. He offers us nothing but heartache. My only reason to stay connected after 18 is to soothe my conscience and keep tabs on him in order to raise a red flag with authorities if I see him getting out of hand. At some point after 18, I will have to drop my parental concerns of responsibility. However, I do worry about him hurting others and would feel responsible, which I probably should not.

You can do much better than this X. You don't need him, you need to be free from him. Find a real person who can actually hear, empathize, and care and not just pretend they are caring. You don't need those head games.