My husband just recently left, leaving behind a mess that is so incredible that most people can't believe it all. Everything evil and decietful that one person can do to another was done. He didn't miss any opportunities. My concern though is that although I don't believe a single word that comes out of his mouth. He did go to our local mental health clinic, because he says he is tired of hurting people. I believe that there is an alterior motive of course. The nurse that he saw there has confirmed to me that he is a psychopath, which I had suspected. We have a 7 month old who I adore and have vowed not to let him see. Is this behavour inherited, what signs should I look for. Can an infant exhibit signs of psychopathic behavour. I want to do everything I can to make sure that he grows up to be a well adjusted competitent man. Can you help?

Nancy, Almost every Mother wishes to ensure those things that you want. And doubtless you will do that. But do consider carefully what you do for a while, and do it on a reasoned base, that you yourself are cool with. And the first genuinely nice thing he or she does past five or six years old, pat youself on the back, and forget the whole thing. Best regards

Hi Nancy and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that you find yourself in the "mess" that you describe. And I admire how you are looking to help and protect your baby.

In answer to question regarding infants exhibiting psychopathic behavior, I can't find any data written that supports any findings regarding infants. In Dr. Hare's book Without Conscience he does address early signs of psychopathy in children in Chapter 10: the Roots of the Problem. However I didn't see anything written about infants.

I would be interested to know if there is anything you are experiencing with your little one that brings up concerns.

I'm glad that you found us, Nancy. This is a wonderful place to come to find support and validation.

Cherie

Nancy, I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

There are alot of resources posted on this forum, in the articles, resources, studies section. The best resource available is Dr. Hare's book, "Without Conscience: The Disturbing World Of The Psychopaths Among Us".

I have come across the the figure that psychopathic tendencies can be seen in children as young as three. Although the dx of psychopath is not given to anyone under the age of 18. Another age cited is 15. It is written that, in order for someone to be diagnosed a psychopath, psychopathic traits have to have appeared before the age of 15. Traits seen in children are lying, stealing, aggression. I would imagine you see the same phenomenon as with an adult psychopath. The child budding psychopath no doubt turns his environment into chaos, with everyone in pain, and possibly, it is hard to determine the source of the problem, as I would imagine the budding psychopath is already capable of making others appear responsible for his mess-making.

First of all, I would recommend, as BonnyR said, don't worry too much. Only about 1% of the population is psychopathic. A psychopath parent does not guarantee a psychopath. I have 2 grown children, psychopathic father, neither of them are psychopaths.

In a way, it's also good that you are alerted to the possibility, so very early. You can arm yourself with knowledge, and be at the ready, if signs do appear. I would say just become really well-educated about child development. Some lying and aggression is normal with children.

Then, I doubt you will find alot of direction, in the literature, as to how to intervene, if you do see the signs. From my reading, I have noted a glaring hole when it comes to this. I don't think any interventions have been developed. But that need not stop you. If you learn everything you can, and love your child, you will learn to develop, yourself, interventions that best work for your child. Mostly, I would think, this would have to do with modeling the behaviors you want your child to develop. Modeling love, honesty and responsibility. Maybe going overboard a bit. Making sure you never make a promise you don't keep, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Honoring the child's feelings at every turn. Setting very definite limits, while demonstrating that you trust your child, too.

Don't worry too much, Nancy. The statistics are in your favor that your child will not be a psychopath. And you have done the thing that will affect your child most profoundly, you have gotten the psychopathic parent out of his life.

Nancy, I thought of something else, which is common sense to me, but is not considered much in the raising of children, these days. And this is just my opinion, but... I think you can help your child to develop his inner qualities by extremely limiting his interation with electronic entertainment, and fostering his interaction with people and with nature. There are two reasons for this. Electronics are devoid of soul forces. A television, an electronic game, are soulless things. Also, much of what is delivered by this stuff is violent (and psychopathic) in nature. I personally think it is reasonable to not even have a television. Nothing creative is transpiring within a child when he is watching tv. Any time a child is creating, he is engaging his soul forces. If he is playing in sand, building a fort, collecting leaves, he is both interacting with things which have soul forces in them, and engaging his own soul forces. Pets are very good for children. A child develops caring by caring for a pet. But very small children don't have the ability to interact responsibly with a pet. I am not sure of the age when they can, maybe three.

Dear Nancy,

I just wanted to add to what I had written to you above.

My daughter is now 18 years old. She did exhibit signs of cruelty and aggressive behavior when very young (preschool age). I have recollections of her babyhood that I look back on as rememberances of as being difficult. But at the time I only thought that she was a very irritable infant. I don't feel that her babyhood history in itself would have indicated any future problems.

With best wishes,
Cherie

Thank you to everyone who has replied. It is nice to know that you are not alone. I have never used my computer in this fashion and I am glad that I was able, however miraculous it was to find you all. I am in Canada I don't know where this is generated from. I have served him with court papers for custody with no access being given to him. He is vowing to fight it. Does anyone know how the courts stand on this. I have talked to a legal aid lawyer and he has advised me to get as much documentation as possible to present to the judge. Problem being that all the people that he has taken money from and the woman that he was conning for money -- don't want to get involved with this. The physicatric nurse that I talked to cannot give me anything in writing and should not have told me his diagnoses to begin with. I have asked him, pleaded with him to leave the baby alone and let him try and grow up with some kind of normal life -- He has this fantasy about helping me raise him and taking him for weekends. He doesn't have a job anymore and no place to live. It's like he lives in this world that he has created where he hasn't done anything wrong. He says he is smarter than everyone else and that's why he was able to get money or for that matter, anything h wanted out of people. Back to my question, has anyone gone through a custody battle with one of these horrible people?

Hello Nancy, welcome to the forum.

There is a thread here about the legal system. Go to:

click this

Hi I'm in the UK and going through a custody battle with the father of my 7 year old. He sounds just like your p. He lives in a fantasy world - no job, no money, no responsibility, but he thinks he can provide my daughter with a better life. I want to limit his contact with her, but the English family courts are very pro fathers - especially those who step forward and talk a good line about being loving and caring. It makes me so cross that he can pull the wool over the judge's eyes. I have had judges tell me that I have to give father unsupervised contact - if I continually refuse he will send me to prison! What will I do?

Hi Learner

Still thinking of the battles you face. maybe you could let us know what makes you think he is a P - and why you are so convinced unsupervised contact would not be good for your child. It is something you will have to do lot in the future - and it can be an uphill struggle if the evidence is not there. Maybe I was unlucky, but the system is easily manipulated by a P.

Rushing off again, catch you later.

Recovery