For lady Crown

http://www.barbiecollector.com/showcase/product.aspx?id=150325&t=modern


gooooo; bbrroooeeemmmmmm.....

For Sapphira, with lots of love an hugs and all you might need;

http://www.barbiecollector.com/showcase/...50027&sort=name

For Dianna because she is such a beautiful woman who can use a little support!
Dianna, The Swan is a messanger, they are very loyal and carring, they look after each other even if they don't know the others..Just like you do..Thanks for being there!!
Love and hugs and plesae look after yourself!
Segaya

http://www.barbiecollector.com/showcase/...50024&sort=name

For Jan,
Jan thank you for all you are doing and all the clear advise you give. In you postings it is always clear and transparant what you mean and you always are very respectfull to people with questions..So here is a diamond for you, Sorry, it's not big enough....But yeah that's what happends if you are the biggest isn't it!!

http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/product.aspx?product_id=61452&shelfid=150152

Love and hugs Segaya

Hi Segaya

Thank you so much. What a lovely thought and I feel very touched by your comments.

When I was going through hell I found this forum and Di helped me through a very bad time. She had such kind words and great understanding and I have learned so much from her. Her hard work to provide support and information and to pass on her knowledge has been a lifeline to so many people.
I hope I can do all I can to help her and to give something back.

Regards
Jan

Hi Lady Crown

It's so good to hear from you.

I’m amazed at your strength and resilience. I wish I could have watched you steal the show, I have the biggest grin on my face. You have taken back your ‘self worth’. Now you know how it’s done it would be great if you could pass on your knowledge and experience to help others do the same.

You must have punched the air when you walked away from your mother and brother. They must be left in a state of total confusion.
I think Segaya is right that they might react by trying to pull you back down again as we all know psychopaths thrive on control and you have taken away part of who they are.

We are all here to cheer you on so if you do feel intimidated by them at any time just look beside you and we will be right there! Just picture us all standing beside you as deal with them. Strength in numbers!
Psychopaths also hate dealing with more than one person at a time as they like to isolate their victims but you will never be on your again now you have your troops beside you.

I’m so pleased that you have shown how to make such a quantum leap a reality.

Regards
Jan

I recently bought a pink blouse, does that count?

Di

Jan, I am eternally grateful for all your work and kindness to all that enter the forum and when you agreed to be an Admin. it has helped me so much.

Di

Hello, I cant believe my luck in finding this website. I have never ever felt so alone in my life and am questioning my sanity. I have a son who has made my life hell from since he was a young child.

I am so isolated and trust no one as he has managed to turn many of my friends against me for being such a bad mother to this 'lovely young man'.He tells them I have for no apparent reason chosen him out of my three boys to make life hell for. He is very convincing and goes to visit them with tears saying all he wants is his mother to love him.They then in turn berate me for being so cruel.He has even managed to fool the medical profession on a number of occassions.

When we are alone he torments me for hours about how bad I am and will sometimes refuse to stop until he sees me cry, only then will he go to sleep and he sleeps very well while I am so distraught. I have lost days at work over this and nearly lost a job when he kept ringing me at the office from the time he got home from school until the time I get home. When I asked him to stop he just did it more.

He has made sure I have been single for the last nine years and tells people I am an alcoholic who abandoned him at eleven which is just not true. He has also posted on my space that his father tried to kill him four times. At fourteen he got the living away from home allowance (I am in Australia) based on that I was allegedly abusive and yet there was no evidence of abuse, no past history of abuse and I actually had, and have a special clearance to work with children and disabled people.Apparently all you have to do here in Australia is find a friend to back up your statement about your parents and they will pay you to live away from home. I in turn had no right to hear the allegation specifics as that would be infringing on his privacy. This only served to justify to him that i am bad. He is very intelligent and so clever with his words that I end up confused myself on what is true and not true and wonder if I am a failure as a mother. When I try to be affectionate to him he rejects me even though he tells everyone all he wants is to be loved.

Last night i was at work looking after a lady with Downs Syndrome when I recieved a call that my son was in hospital threatening suicide. I managed to get someone to fill for me and went to the hospital where they were all giving love and attention to this 'poor young man' as they put it. He was discharged into my care and on the way home started yelling at me that its all my fault - "all my friends and your friends know how f...ed up you are. Another sleepless night and another lost day and wages.

Today he was calling me a horrible c..t who abandoned her children and was threatening to burn the house down . I told him that if you keep saying how horrible I am and that everyone thinks I am that I may as well be and kicked him out. I am a bit scared of him but cannot do anything until he actually does something but MOST of all I am so sad not just for me but for him, he must be so unhappy but i no longer know what to do.

Thanks for letting me vent I just dont feel I can tell anyone here about my hell as they never believe me.

Hello Caroline,
Rest asure...we not only believe you..we life or have lived it!!!!
i see so much in your story that is recognizable for me.
I am a mother of a now 26 year old son who is a psychopath. I luckely have another son ( 18) who is not. This younger boy kept me sane!!

Let me tell first of all; No, you are not a bad mother..More so; You are a great mother who uptill today is still trying all her best to help and comfort this young man.
When all the world seems to believe those stories it's normal to doubt yourself. But look at you other sons!!
Do they say the same things?
What do they think of their brothers behavior??

My son is also telling horrible stories about his youth and the sad thing is indeed ..without ever asking my opinion, everybody believes it and takes it as he is telling his sad, sad stories...
This can make you angry, disappointed, furious, helpless and all you can think of...and yet, you can't do anything about it!!!

I have to tell you, sadly enough, there is nothing you can do to change him....
The only thing in your power is to change yourself. Make yourself strong, get some selfesteem again, People who believe him are not your friends are not on your side.....

The only way he can goon doing in your live, playing with your heart and mind, is that you let him do so......
Take back your own power, get control again and the very best thing ( but hard....) is to get him out of your live...or as far out as possible....
getting back the peace in your live is importend. Not only for you, but also for the rest of your family.

Please keep telling your story and be asure we will read and react on
them...Feel welcome cause you are!!!!
Love Segaya

Hello Carolyn

I’m pleased you have found the forum and hope we can offer you some support and that you no longer feel so isolated now you can talk to others who understand what you are going through. We all know how difficult it is to talk about things like this to anyone not closely involved. It’s almost impossible for outsiders to see it unless they have been a victim of the person you are talking about and even then they may not realise they are a victim.
You don’t say you think your son is a psychopath I’m but just guessing the reason you came to this forum is you were looking for information on the disorder. Have you looked at Dr Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist?

How old is your son? Does he work or is he still in education? What about his father?

Please don’t doubt your own sanity that is exactly what your son wants to achieve and don’t even think about him being unhappy. A true psychopath (if he is) has no genuine emotions and feelings so he will not be hurt although he may get very angry.
You did the right thing to kick him out, he has made his choices and chooses not to behave in the right way so there are consequences.
There is also absolutely no point showing him any affection, it’s a waste of time and puts him in control. Control is the big issue which is the name of the game. He has control to isolate you, scare you and fool everyone he has contact with.

The first thing to do and what I would advise everyone to do is keep a diary of every event and conversation, maybe your other sons might see what is going on and they are being duped too. Try to find someone you can share your problems with, you might be surprised to find someone can see you having such a terrible time and will welcome the opportunity to be asked to help you cope. Many people feel their interference would not be welcome so keep their distance but not because they don’t care.

You need to take back control of your life and that will be so hard after being dragged down for so long. Your son can live with one of his brothers and if he is need of any affection (which I doubt) then they can play that role. They will probably see things differently if they are responsible for him.

I hope you feel able to make plans to remove your son from his position of being able to do this to you and hope we can support you while you find the strength.

There must be a lot more you would like to say so please feel free to do so when you are ready.

Regards
Jan