I'm so afraid!!! How do overcome the fear and terrible dread that I feel everytime my Psychopath sister walks into the room, speaks, or is present?

She is on a Mission to Destroy me.... I've already almost allowed her to help me give up! I attempted [and almost] suceeded in committing suicide!!!!

Please, I need as much HELP & ADVISE as possible! Sorry about the lack of details right now, I'm communicating from my mother's computer, so I can't tell all of what is going on at one time. BUT, they are computer illiterate "Whew"

I can't believe that I ended up at my mother's again!!!!!!!

Right now they are laughing, my sister and my mother, they know I have no meds. and my sister wouldn't let me sleep. At daybreak, she started so-called "cleaning" around my bed [which is one the floor]...

Di, Deb and all of you, please help me!

Hello Sarah

I have been with the forum for a few years now and remember you.

You do sound very stressed and need to share your distress with someone. How can we help you?

Maybe to begin with you can just tell us your immediate problem and we can deal with the rest after we have made a start on the most important issue.

Could I suggest you buy a flash memory stick and keep all your information stored on that so it's not on your mother's computer then maybe find an internet cafe so you can have time to transfer the information to the forum. Also delete all your history and browsing on that computer. It is also possible to put another web browser on the computer but not put an icon on the desktop but you can access it through 'all programs' then that could be your own personal web browser. Firefox is a good one.

To begin with try not to show any reaction whatsoever, I know it's easy to say but any reaction will give your sister 'information' to work on and use against you. The other way is to give a completely off the wall reaction so the opposition can't read you.
If she cleans round your bed just give a sleepy smile and say 'thank you that's really nice of you to clean up for me'.

I found with the problem person in my life if I gave a totally unexpected response it would throw him completely, see what creative repsonses you can come up with. If your sister thinks she is doing you a favour she won't like that but the downside is she will probably come up with some other scam so think 10 paces ahead of what she might do and the responses you could use.

Can you spend much time away from the house? Not being there to be victimised is a good way of dealing with things as well as having other people around you. Have you got any friends who could stay with you now and again? If the family didn't know when you had others around might make them back off a little. These people rely on getting you on your own and very rarely 'perform' in public.

When you get chance let us know a bit more about what is going on and hopefully we can give you the support you need.

Regards
Jan

Hi Sarah,
I don't know you yet though you are a member much longer then I am. I hope you come to read here although not writing so much. That would mean you know a little about me.
For I am willing to communicate with you, and I think I can be of a little help......
I am not the easiest person around for I deal with people also professionally for quit some years now...

so here we go;
Thirst of all...You are NOT going to commit suicide....
finish!!!

The situation may be hard, and the darkness seems very scary but the darkness is not inside you , it is circumstancial. There s one BIG reason not to do it.
Secondly...do you want them to succeed or is there still something inside you, a little voice, maybe hard to hear but saying..'I m going to live through this and come out a victor!!''
Thirdly;
You have a life ahead of you with so much fun, succes, somuch to see,learn, experience... Inposible that you want to throw that al away because of other people......
And last but certainly not least.... If you want help from people it means you are willing to use their energy, their time, their emphathy and there commitment to you, how in the world can you ask such things when people have to believe you will not be there to read what they write to you for help?


So with this out of the way we can talk.
I have to be honest. ALthough I do believe your live is very hard at this moment I don't know a thing about it. So I will spend time with your old postings to see what is happening to you and the I can come back to you with some insights oke.
When I tell you this I mean it. In return you will keep posting and you wll keep getting our support....Deal??? oke For me it is a deal!!!
Now on the forum are some things already that may be of great help, please do what is told there for it maybe seems to be so little but I asure you that it can help you greatly.. More then you could ever dream !!!
You can find the postings on the item of dealing with family psychopaths. The topic is called 'There is a way out..' but also 'discovery and healing....'

In the mean time you are reading those things and start to do these exercises I will read your postings and come back to you oke...

Jan's idea of keeping your postings save is great...
Take care and keep going!!!!
Segaya

Hi Sarah,
To be very honest...I am shocked!!!!

I was in the impressionn that you are a young girl, quit innocent and strugling fo help because people around you wouldn't believe you....
Can you immagine what is going through my mind knowing now that there is no young girl but an middle aged woman behind the name Sarah??? ( no offence for the age....I am 48 years of age myself))
I read some of your postings.... My question is...Where do you need help, you have the knowledge, You seem to know enough about psychopaths to know how to deal,or rather NOT deal with them.....You even said it yourself in one of your postings..Even secundairy contact is contact...when being wise keep away as far as possible, is what that means isn't it?
So I am confused now....
Can you make more clear what you want from us?

Hi Segaya, nice to meet you and your advise is great... But, Oh No!!! I took the pills a few months ago, left here right after that, had much more trouble with Depression! But managed to sleep at this one and that ones, paying my way and helping. without being very welcome, can't blame them with my mental state. Some of my friends have stopped taking my calls! Fair Weather, Ya know?...

I'll finish reading you all's posts and answer more fully. Sorry I just had to let you know I'm not suicidal!

Hi Jan,

My Car will be out of the shop on Weds. and I'm hoping to get an apartment next month. [My sister just walked in and looked at me then walked out.] You won't believe the things she's said to me and my mother won't let ME reply, it's very , very hard!

Thanks Ya'll for being here. Hope to read more and help others. I've saved a bunch of pages to read offline!

hi sarah
Jan's post is spot on. You must not let them get to you. Unfortunately you are in a vulnerable position by having to live with the people who can harm you As jan says spend as much time elsewhere as you can and plan to move out to your own place asap This is a form of emotional domestic abuse so maybe there are shelters or organisations who could help. You are a sensitive caring person and your kindness is what they use to get under your skin and make you act crazy. Deleting your browsing history on your computer is important in fact keeping any personal information away from them is important. I think these kind of people need current updates on your emotional state in order to do the worst harm. Even if they do not see you they get someone else to worm their way close to you and find out what is upsetting you most. It is a sick and warped way of hurting you and you must get strong and learn to get better at protecting yourself than they are at hurting you. keep reading and learning as much as you can about they way they manipulate and damage. Good luck. The worst is not knowing what the hell is going on. Now you can start to unravel and move your life forward.

Thank you all so much!

Great News! Just got my car out the shop! ;-) Cost me a months S.S.I. check, but worth every penny! Next month or in Oct. I'm pretty sure I'll have me a 2 bdrom apt. [sucidized housing] for 70 dollars a month! My step-sister has been living there for 13 years and loves it! She is also victim of a few maniacs. She has horrible bouts of Depression. I've talked to the manager and I'm all but in! Thank God!!!!

I'll be here at least another month though, and there lies the trouble!

Since I've been here;

I could never tell you all of the horrific things that my sister has said to members, and about other members of my family [family is a strange word to me]... My Mother comforts me by telling me things like, I HAVE TO learn to cope with the constant threats made against me!... Emotionally, Verbally, Psychlogically! Bodily harm is what she really wants. She threatens me... BUT,,,, If she EVER physically harms me again, she could easily kill me! I told her I'd call APS if she threatened me again! She said she'd gladly go to prison 'again' just to "Whip My A**]"!....

It sounds like I've done something terrible to this 53 year old woman, doesn't it?... But, that's why I post on this Forum, for this is NOT a normal woman, and I've done NOTHING to her!... It's Insane!... I refuse to let he make me crazy, so I guess not saying anything to her, like my mother says, is right. [Although my Mother's motive is to make sure I have emotional pain] My sister plans for me to respond. Mama's right about that. Of course, She knows the Game well! I hate having to play it again, my famiy is really awefull! Thanks for you all! It's helping me already, reading and posting!

So now as each day passes, I need to have your Prayers, mostly for my Grandmother, for Sure!!!! She says to me in front of my Grandmother aweful stuff, such as; "I'm Gonna Whip Your A**,,, As Soon As You're Alone Outside"... She tells me "Watch Your Back"... AND... EVERYTIME I try to say a word to anyone about anything while she's speaking she tells me to "Shut the F*** Up, Dumb B****"... AND.... "Mama You Better Make Her Shut Her F***ing Mouth".... And my Mother looks at me and puts her finger over her mouth and whisphers, "Shhhhh!" ... But remember, My Mother is not afraid... Oh no, she loves the Chaos and Thrives on the attention she recieves!!!... Please, if you think she's a victim read, "My Mother" thread, then you can get a better picture of her!!!


I cry ;-( ..... Because of My Grandmother!!!!! She throws her food away!



More Later,

Love

Hello Sarah

That is such good news you will soon have a place of your own and your car back. Please try and get away from these people as much as possible, is it possible to stay with your step sister before your move?

I know it's hard to ignore any situation you are part of but these people rely on your response and to be their victim, without a victim they cannot play their nasty games. You really have to cut your self off emotionally and understand that they are not normal and it's a waste of time trying to make sense of what they do.
Try to think of them as robots that have had the wrong computer chips put in and they will do what they are programmed to do and say things they have no control over. Yes...they may be dangerous...who knows what they are capable of so keep well away physically as well as emotionally.

If you met a robot in a plastic body you wouldn't expect it to to behave as a person and that is the best way to think of these family members. You couldn't ask it to do anything it wasn't programmed to do or have consideration for people's feelings.

The things your sister says cannot hurt you if you don't let them, learn to sing in your mind when they move their lips so it drowns them out. You know what she is so don't join in with her games. Do you really think she would physically hurt you? If so give her a clear warning that if she lays a finger on you the police will be there to arrest her and don't say it in anger or fear....just a cold, unemotional statement of fact.

Whether you feel like it or not you need to show her you have no fear, interest or concern about anything she does or says.


Not long to go!

Regards
Jan

Thank you so much Jan for your words of wisdom and knowledge! I know these things, when I'm not having to live with them. But, even with all the things I've learned about Psychopath's and all of the horrible life threatening experiences I've had with them, I'm having a hard time keeping my balance when faced head-on with a nasty Psychopath. I think Robot is a very good way to think of them!... I will try very hard to take your advice!

Well, the latest nightmare happened today!

There are 2 horrific things that my sister has accused me of doing since I've been here.

First thing that happened; Shortly after I came to live here, a local man, who is a 'friend of the family' exposed himself to me after being outright rejected by his advances to me... It was so sick, he asked me to 'pleasure him'... right inside of my mother's home when no one was here!... As far as I knew my sister believed me.

Second thing; My sister accused me of showing my mother's husband, my cleavage while he was reading my son's myspace and he asked me a few questions about my son's band.... Then she accused him of looking. But, she added that she didn't blame HIM, but she blamed ME!.... A man can't help but look she said to us!.... My mother didn't believe it and I laughed at the rediculous accusation!... My mother's husband got to experience her vicious attack and he didn't like it. But still, my sister gets to stay here too!

Then, today these 2 things that cause me to agonize came together!

My sister and that man [who was told not to come back] were sitting on the breezeway talking, my sister has been feeding him when he comes, little did I know! Anyway, my mother's husband got home from work and told him he needed to only visit when he is home. Not when only woman were here. The man agreed and said he wouldn't, but my sister started to tell him she could have friends over, it's her mothers house... Well, all of a sudden, things got real crazy! She ran her mouth so bad that my mother's h. told her he was sick of her running his home and that she should call someone to come get her, that she is no longer welcome! She was loud and obnoxious, [of course.] Then she pointed her finger at me [I could see and hear from the dining room where I was trying to eat.].... She screamed at him, "YOU JUST WANT TO GET RID OF ME SO THAT YOU AND 'HER' CAN CARRY ON WITHOUT ME SEEING YOU, BEHIND MY MAMA'S BACK"!!!!... OMG!....I could hardly contain the pain, then she said that I accused the man of doing what he did, but it was me, like he said that came on to him and that I'm "A WH*RE"... That's the language she used! I thought my heart would break!iT WENT ON AND ON. sHE CRIED TO MY MOTHER AND MY MOTHER SCREAMED AT HER HUSBAND!!!!... What should I feel then???? Does she believe that I'm wanting her husband????? OMG!!!!!

I kept silent, not letting them know what I feel. BUT, I ache so deeply... My heart is broken, Jan! I can tell you what happened next?, my sister forced 'everyone' under her complete control when she started crying her alligator tears.Then everyone acted like nothing ever happened!?!?

I hurt so badly, but later I was singing to my Grandmother! I sang an old Cajun song about Crawfish and she started laughing and then I asked her if she wanted ice cream, a candy bar or some cake and she chuckled and we hugged up together on the couch! She is so Precious to me!... So, yeah it's right , a song in your mind ... I'll try to shut them out completely!

BTW, the physical threat is real, she has beat me up many, many times. And I never hit her back. She is a tuff woman, and she fights even at her age!

Also, the man told me the only thing he would pull out on me was a gun, AND he added, he'd use it! He hates that I told everyone what he did!.... This town is so small, Population, 140. So everyone takes sides.

I'll be in my apartment in a much bigger town by the 1st [HOPEFULLY]... My mother said she'd help me get in there as soon as possible. With my heart on my sleeve, I feel like she wants to get rid of a problem, me. The way she allows my sister to destroy me, it's all so cruel!

But, I PRAY... And so, there lies 'My Hope!'