HI JAN,
I AM SO EAGER TO HELP OTHERS THAT WENT THRU WHAT I AM STILL GOING THRU. I AM DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING. MY HUSBAND AND HIS BROTHER, AND FAMILY ARE PLAYING THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM, IN ALL THREE COURT, PROBATE, CIVIL, AND CRIMINAL. I HAVE CONTACTED ALL THE JUDGES AND SENT ALL THE DOCUMENTATION TO THEM. THIS ALL HAPPENED IN SEPT. OF 2007. I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS FINE BEFORE ANY OF THIS, EXCEPT FOR THE "QUIRKS". HE SUPPOSEDELY FELL OFF RAFTERS WHERE HE WAS DOING A JOB. HE IS A CONTRACTOR. AFTER THE FALL, HE WAS ACTING FINE. WE WERE
DOING THE THINGS WE NORMALLY DO. IN JULY OF 2007, TWO WOMAN CAME TO OUR HOME. IT APPEARED TO ME THAT THEY WERE SIZING IT UP. I ASKED WHO THEY WERE, AND THEY STATED THAT THEY WANTED TO USE OUR DUMPSTER WE HAD IN THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE. MY HUSBAND WALKED WITH THEM TO THE FRONT, WHICH I DID NOT. HE CAME BACK, AND I HAD STATED THAT IT WAS VERY ODD THAT SOMEONE WOULD STOP, APPROACH SOMEONE ON THEIR PROPERTY ABOUT USING A DUMPSTER. HE STATED THAT THAT IS ALL THEY WANTED. SOON AFTER, HE BECAME VERY BAZAAR, AND STARTED WITH HIS ANGER, AND BELIGERANCE. MY DAUGHTER BECAME PREGNANT, AND THAT SENT HIM REELING. SHE WAS 24YRS. ON 8/31/07 HE DRIVES HIMSELF TO THE POLICE DEPARTMENT AND STATES THAT HE WANTED TO KILL HIMSELF, OR MY DAUGHTERS BOYFRIEND. THE POLICE DEPARTMENT SENT HIM TO THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD. HE KEPT CALLING ME TO GET HIM OUT, AND I COULDN'T. WHEN HE WAS RELEASED, THE HOSPITAL TOLD ME HE HAD TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY FROM THE FALL. THE OTHER DIAGNOSIS WAS BIPOLAR MANIC. HE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE HIS MEDS TO BE THE SAME PERSON I KNEW.
SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT. HE UP AND LEFT IN 10/07, AND I FILED FOR A DIVORCE. I NEVER GAVE IT A THOUGHT OF GETTING HIS HOSPITAL RECORDS, BECAUSE I WAS HIS POA. HE WENT TO MA. TO BE WITH HIS BROTHER, AND HIS BROTHER REVOKED MY POA. WHEN TIME GOT CLOSER TO THE DIVORCE, HE WANTED TO RECONCILE, BEGGED THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. I FELT SORRY THAT HE HAD THIS INJURY, SO I QUIT MY JOB TO BE WITH HIM. THIS LASTED FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS, HE STARTED AGAIN, EXCEPT,HE HAD SWITCHED THE PHONE WIRES WITH MY ADT ALARM, AND LEFT 2 WINDOWS OPEN. TWO NIGHTS LATER, THE ALARM GOES OFF, AND I RECEIVED NO CALL FROM THE ALARM CO. I CALLED THEM, AND THEY STATED THE PHONE WIRES WERE NOT WORKING. IT WAS VERIFIED, THEY WERE TAMPERED WITH AND DOCUMENTED WITH THE POLICE. BY THIS TIME, HE LEFT AGAIN. HE WAS TAKING TRAINS TO MONTREAL TO THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT, DRIVING ALL OVER THE MAP. I HAPPENED TO CHECK HIS DESK, AND FOUND E-MAILS FROM HIS ATTY. TO HIS BROTHER, AND MY HUSBAND. IT SOUNDED LIKE HE HAD FATHERED A CHILD. I CHECKED HIS CELL BILLS, AND HE HAD CALLED CHIEF PROSECUTOR, CHIEF PUBLIC DEFENDER, AND CHILD SUPPORT.HE WAS STILL CONTINUING TO STAY AT DRUG INFESTED MOTELS, SEEN GOING INTO A ROOM WITH A SKANKY WOMAN. AS TIME WENT ON, MY FRIEND, A FORMER NURSE, WENT THRU HIS MEDICAL RECORD OF 9/01/07 WHICH HE LEFT BEHIND. THIS WAS NOT A FALL, IT WAS A HIT TO THE HEAD, AND HE WAS FINE. THE HOSPITAL WAS QUESTIONING WHETHER IT WAS A FALL OR SEIZURE(WHICH HE HAD FOR 40 YRS). MYSELF, AND MY FRIEND WENT A STEP FURTHER, WE WENT DOORKNOCKING TO THE ADDRESS THE CALL CAME IN FOR 911.
ON THE AMBULANCE REPORT IT STATED FRIEND/FAMILY-911. I LATER CHECKED HIS BANK STATEMENTS THAT HE LEFT BEHIND, AND HE WAS TAKING OUT 9,000.00, 5000.00 AND SO ON. HE NEVER SUPPORTED ME WITH A PAY CHECK FOR YEARS. HE CAME BACK IN 9/08, AND JANUARY OF 09 HE STARTED THE SAME THING. HE CONSTANTLY BROKE RESTRAINING ORDERS, AND NOW A FULL PROTECTIVE ORDER IS IN EFFECT. HE RECENTLY CALLED ON 6/24/09 FROMA PHONE BOOTH, WHICH I DID NOT KNOW THE NUMBER, I ANSWERED MY CELL AND IT WAS HIM. THE DAY LATER, HIS CONSERVATOR CALLED ME AND STATED HE CUT HIS WRISTS. I CALLED THE NORWOOD HOSPITAL TO INQUIRE, AND THE NEXT DAY I WAS SERVED THE RESTRAINING ORDER. HE APPEARED IN CRIMINAL COURT, WITH NO CUT WRISTS, AND APPEARED IN PROBATE, THE CONSERVATOR QUIT. MY ATTORNEY IS HANDLING THE CIVIL, BUT I HAVE BEEN SUBMITTING EVERYTHING TO PROBATE, AND CRIMINAL COURTS. HE IS MENTALLY ILL, AND I KNOW TWO PSYCHIATRISTS WANTED HIM PUT AWAY FOREVER. HE IS A PSYCHOPATH, BUT THE HOSPITAL
PUT THIS DIAGNOSIS UNDER THE DSMR-4 AS BIPOLAR TO GET PAID. I RECEIVED NOTICE FROM THE INSURANCE CO. RECENTLY TO THE 6/26/09 STAY FOR THE CUTTING OF THE WRISTS. HE WAS NOT DOING HARM TO HIMSELF OR OTHERS,BUT HE DID NOT MEET THE CRITERIA TO BE ADMITTED TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL, ANOTHER WORDS, HE IS A PSYCHOPATH. NO MEDICATION, NO CURE. THE BEST IS YET TO COME. I HAVE EVERY PIECE OF DOCUMENTATION FOR MYSELF. I AM HAPPY TO GET RID OF HIM. I NOW REALIZE, THAT THE PERSON I WAS WITH, WAS NOT REAL. HE WAS EVERYBODY!

HI DIANNA,
YOU WILL SEE WHAT I WROTE TO JAN. MY BIGGEST CONCERN, IS ABUSE OF THE PSYCHOPATH. MY HUSBAND NOT SUPPORTING ME, WAS ABUSE. I FELT THAT AFTER LOOSING MY SON AT THE AGE OF 11 YRS. THE BATTLE WAS NOT THAT BIG. SO MANY WOMAN WANT A MAN IN THEIR LIFE, BUT NEVER REALLY CHECK FOR THE RED FLAGS. MEN TOO ARE ABUSED BY PSYCHOPATHIC WOMAN. IT IS THE EVIL VS GOOD IN THIS SOCIETY. I FOUND IN THE COURTS, BECAUSE I AM THE VICTIM, AND SOMETIMES YOU FELL ANGERED, AND DISGUSTED, THAT THE ABUSER IS WINNING. I AM A BELIEVER, THAT THE LIES WILL BE OVERRIDDEN WITH THE TRUTH. YEARS AGO, HIS MOTHER STATED TO ME THAT I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH HIS COMPANY, AND SHE STATED I WOULD OPEN A CAN OF WORMS. I CERTAINLY DID! HIS GAMILY THINK I HAVE HIDDEN ASSETS THAT I HAVE STACHED AWAY. THEY ARE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE. THEY WILL BE THE NEXT ONES TO GO THRU IT LIKE I DID. I AM OPTING FOR A JAIL TERM FOR HIM. NO HOSPITAL WILL TAKE HIM, UNLESS HE DOES GET TITLE 19, AND IS PT IN FORENSIC PSYCHIATRY. I HAVE SEARCHED FOR 2 YEARS, IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY FAMILY, AND MY SELF. I WANT THE JUDICAL, AND THE POLICE TO RECOGNIZE THE PSYCHOPATH. THE PSYCHOPATH IS SO CLEVER, THAT THEIR COOLNESS LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE THE CRAZY ONE. I FINALLY REALIZED, YOU HAVE TO ACT THE SAME WAY THEY DO. COOL AND CALM.


MY HUSBANDS' BRAIN INJURY IS NOT FROM A FALL, IT IS A BIOLOGICAL CHANGE TO THE BRAIN, FROM ALL THE STRESSORS. HIS PROMISCUITY GOT HIMSELF CAUGHT.

Hello Strongwill

You have certainly done a lot of investigative work and sound worn down by not being heard.

Would you mind if I asked what your life together was life from when you first met your ex until the time his anger started? I presume like any relationship there good and bad times and were there any things about this man that gave you cause for concern. What was he like as a father?
You mentioned seizures for forty years and I presume you mean epilepsy so was he on medication for this?
It seems very strange that two women coming to your house with an odd request triggered a shift in his behaviour, is there anything you suspect caused this? From a readers point of view I would take it you are suggesting that they knew him and made an excuse to speak to him but what they had to tell him wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

When did you first judge him to be a psychopath and was this suggested to you by anyone else? If he was diagnosed Bi Polar was he taking medication for that and for how long. There are people I know who suffer from Bi Polar and I know how hard it is to balance medication and symptoms are uncontrolled. Is there any diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease as sometimes this can cause a change in mental health? You need to rule out everything else before struggling with the concept of psychopathy. There is no way to diagnose that for yourself, all you can do is research information if that is what you believe. He would need to be seen by a highly qualified person to get an official diagnosis and that usually only happens when the person is part if the judicial system. You may never get this and I know that doesn't help you and probably not what you want to hear but I think it's best you don't give yourself even more stress trying to chase it. Unless of course you can ask the courts to require him to have a psychiatric assessment.

I’m sorry there are so many questions but I’m just trying to get a good understanding of the history of your story although I see how hard it is to condense 31 years of marriage and more into a few pages. Take your time and maybe put things in a timeline that will help you put things in order.

I was surprised you say you are opting for a jail sentence for him, I don’t know how the system works in the US but how is this possible? Could you explain in a little more detail what charges he is answering?

I think it is time for you to take more time for yourself, you are extremely stressed and will burn out if you don’t take it a bit easier. There will be time to help others in the future once you are strong enough but for the time being concentrate on your needs.

I will wait until I hear some more of your history and get a better understanding of your story.

Regards
Jan

HI JAN,
THERE IS A LOT OF HISTORY. FIRST, HE WAS NEVER RESPONSIBLE FOR THE REARING OF MY CHILDREN.
HE NEVER GOT INVOLVED, EXCEPT FOR THE GOOD TIMES HE WANTED TO SHOW THEM. SECONDLY, HE WOULD TAKE MY CHILDREN, WHILE I WAS WORKING, AND PARK IN FRONT OF A GYM TO WATCH WOMEN WORK OUT. HE WOULD GATHER VICTORIA SECRETS MAGAZINES AND STOCK PILE THEM DOWNSTAIRS. HE WOULD ORDER PORNO FILMS THRU THE MAIL, AND ON TV. I NEVER KNEW WHERE HE WAS WORKING, ALTHOUGH HE DID HAVE A CELL, HE COULD HAVE BEEN IN VT. HE NEVER GAVE ME A CHECK TO SUPPORT THE HOUSEHOULD, HIS MOTHER WOULD CASH HIS CHECK. HE WOULD KNOW THE CASINOS' IN CT LIKE THE BACK OF HIS HAND. THE TWO WOMAN WHO APPEARED AT OUR HOME IN 7/07, APPARENTLY WERE SIZING UP THE PROPERTY. WHEN HE LEFT, I STARTED GOING THRU BANK STATEMENTS, TELEPHONE CALLS FROM HIS CELL, AND FOUND THAT THOUSANDS WERE BEING WITHDRAWN AT THE SAME TIME. IN THE PHONE BOOK, WHILE I HAD TO CHECK A NUMBER TO CALL, I NOTICED HE HAD CALLED CHILD SUPPORT, A FEW ATTORNEYS, AND THE ATTORNEY FOR HIS COMPANY. IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS PANICKING. IN 8/07, MY DAUGHTER BECAME PREGNANT, AND HE WENT OFF THE WALL. THAT IS WHEN HE WAS ADMITTED TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KILL HIMSELF OR MY DAUGHTERS BOYFRIEND. WHEN HE CAME BACK IN 12/07, HE STAYED FOR 2 MONTHS AND FLEED AGAIN.
I FOUND A LIST HE LEFT BEHIND, THAT HE WANTED TO GET PARTIAL DISABLITY, NEVER WORK AGAIN,
GET A DIVORCE TO SAVE THE ASSETS. HE WAS IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS AT LEAST 7 TIMES, AND THEY CHECKED HIM FOR STDS. HE LEFT SOME RECORDS BEHIND, AND HIS NEUROLOGIST STATED THAT THE SUPPOSED FALL WAS NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS PSYCHIATRIC ILLNESS, IT WAS LONG STANDING. HE RECENTLY WAS IN THE HOSPITAL IN MASS. AND THE DOCTOR STATED THAT HE HAS BRAIN INJURY, BUT WAS NOT A THREAT TO HIMSELF OR OTHERS, BUT HE DID NOT MEET THE CRITERIA TO BE PUT SOMEWHERE ELSE. IN CRIMINAL COURT, HE BROKE A RESTRAINING ORDER, AND PROTECTIVE ORDER, AND IT IS IN THE FILE THAT HE BE GIVEN AN ASSESSMENT. ALSO HE LEFT HIS MEDICAL RECORDS FROM 9/07, AND HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PERSONALITY DISORDER/AXIS 1-WHICH THE DIAGNOSIS CODE WAS 310.1

PRIOR TO ALL OF THIS, WE GOT A LONG GOOD, IN MY MIND WHAT WAS GOOD. EVERYTHING BACK FIRED ON HIM. FOR YEARS, HE GOT AWAY WITH HAVING HIS JAUNTS, AND IN HIS MIND, IF HE WAS HOME BY
500PM, THERE WAS NO PROBLEM. I STRONGLY SUSPECT, THAT THIS WOMAN HAS HIS CHILD, AND SHE IS ONLY 2 YEARS OLDER THAN MY DAUGHTER. ONE DAY IN 2008, I HAD STATED TO HIM, I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU, BUT I DON'T, AND I FEEL KNOW I AM MARRIED TO YOU, BUT FEEL LIKE I'M NOT.
I GO WITH MY GUT FEELING, NOT MY HEART. NO MEDICAL FACILITY, IS GOING TO TELL ME THAT HE IS A PSYCHOPATH. ALTHOUGH, THE DOCTOR KEPT STATING TO ME IN 2007, THAT I WAS A STRONG PERSON. I WONDER WHY? HIS BROTHER, WITH WHOM MY HUSBAND IS WITH NOW IN MASS. DOES NOT WANT HIS BROTHER TO BE ASSESSED. MY HUSBAND WAS REFERRED TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL IN MASS. AND THEY COULD NOT EVEN ASSESS HIM, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND STATES HE DOES NOT NEED THE MEDS, AND HE SHOULD NOT BE THERE. TWO PSYCHIATRISTS FROM ANOTHER HOSPITAL STATED THAT HE SHOULD BE PUT AWAY BECAUSE HE HAS NO INSIGHT, AND BEHAVORIAL PROBLEMS. HIS MASK DID SLIP WHEN THE STRESS BECAME TOO MUCH. PRSENTLY, HE HAS NO RECORD OF CONTINUING TREATMENT.

Hello Strongwill

It sounds as though you accepted your life with your husband and had few expectations. What you have described was not a good relationship but without a comparison how can we judge what is normal? On a positive note it would be good if you could tell us about the good times so that it explains why you tolerated the unacceptable behaviour.

You are like a coiled spring and I hope you can find a way of winding down and looking after yourself. Is your daughter around and has the grandchild been born yet? That will be something to look forward to. You mentioned a friend helping you and that is good to have someone around to support you.

I was wondering whether the women who came to your house were looking to repossess and/or your ex had been borrowing money against the property and it was being called in.

Your ex sounds very unstable and from the diagnosis he received he it does appear that his personality disorder was exacerbated by some sort of medical condition from the information from the DSM you quoted. Was his epilepsy controlled with medication? Do you know if his head injury occurred because of a fall during a seizure? I know medical insurance is an big issue in the US so could it possibly be that the only way he would be covered is by stating he had an accident (fell at work)?

If he declared he had a seizure and a blow to the head during that I presume he wouldn’t be covered so maybe you can put me right on that.

Where are you in the legal process at the moment?

I seem to ask you so many questions and I do apologise for adding to your stress but I just want to make sure I understand your story properly.

I hope you take this as a positive statement but I don’t feel your ex is a psychopath, although I’m not in a position to qualify that belief but maybe you can get a professional opinion. I know it wouldn’t reduce your stress a jot to find out he wasn’t because the whole problem is bigger than that. Your problems are huge regardless of his ‘diagnosis’.

You have done a lot of work and research and perhaps you can say why you feel your ex is a psychopath when he has had assessments that haven’t come to that conclusion.
I have to say I have lost faith in many professionals (mainly legal ones) so I like to come to my own conclusions to explore whether I’m on the right track or not. Is that your position at the moment?

How is your health? I get the feeling you keep going rather than enjoy your life.

Regards
Jan

HI JAN,

MY HUSBAND HAD MANY QUIRKS. YOU DON'T SEEM TO DWELL ON THEM AT THE TIME, BECAUSE YOUR TOO BUSY RAISING YOUR CHILDREN, WORKING, AND RUNNING AROUND. HE HAS HAD EPILEPSY FOR 40 YRS. AND WELL CONTROLLED WITH DILANTIN. SINCE 2006, HE HAS HAD MANY PANIC ATTACKS, NOT SEIZURES. YOUR NOT STRESSING ME, I HAVE LEARNED SINCE THIS HAPPENED, THAT I AM NUMBER 1. YES, WHEN HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY FROM THE FALL? I KEPT TAKING HIM BACK, BECAUSE I WANTED TO HELP HIM GET THE HELP HE NEEDED. IN MY MIND, I THOUGHT HE WOULD DO THE RIGHT THING, AND HE DID NOT. AGAIN, HE NEVER SIGNED A RELEASE OF INFORMATION FROM THE HOSPITAL FOR ME, ALTHOUGH I HAD THE POA FOR HIM. SHORTLY, HIS BROTHER REVOCATED MY POA
DURING MY CONTACTING AN ATTY. FOR A DIVORCE. I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT I EXPERIENCED, AND SAW, AND IT IS VERY CONFUSING. IT STARTED BACK IN 2006, WHEN THE BOTH OF US WERE RENOVATING OUR HOME. SEPT. 2006, HE WAS ADMITTED FOR A PANIC ATTACK, FELL OFF THE GUERNEY,
AND HURT HIS SHOULDER. THE NEXT THING I KNEW, HE WAS ROCKING IN A CORNER, STATING THAT HE DID NOT HAVE A JOB. HE WAS ACTING VERY BAZAAR. THE NEXT THING HIS OTHER BROTHER, WHO HAS WORKED WITH HIM IN THE CONSTRUCTION CO., STARTED CALLING ME A DUETCH BAG FOR NO APPARENT REASON. MY HUSBAND NEVER STUCK UP FOR ME, AND NEVER TOLD HIS BROTHER TO STOP. DURING JAN. THRU MARCH OF 2008, MY HUSBAND WAS VERY DEPRESSED, AND WOULD TAKE AN INTEREST IN THE HOME.
AGAIN, PRIOR TO THIS TIME, WE WERE GOING SHOPPING, TAKING TRIPS, EATING OUT, MOVIES, AND ALSO SCOOTING AROUND ON OUR SCOOTERS.

IN MAY OF 2008, HE WAS CONTRACTED TO DO A JOB WORKING ON A ROOF, WHERE HE SUPPOSEDLY FELL.
HIS BROTHER, WHOM WORKS WITH HIM, TOLD THE HOSPITAL THAT HE SEIZED, AND FELL 10-16 FT.
THE HOSPITAL QUESTIONED THE SEIZURE, AND THE FALL, AND HE WAS FINE. HE WAS IN NO PAIN, NO BROKEN BONES, SPRAINED ANYTHING. ONE WEEK LATER, HE HAS A PANIC ATTACK, DIAGNOSED WITH HYPERTENSITY. HE WAS ACTIVE HELPING ME WITH THE OUTSIDE OF THE HOME. JULY, 2008, THE TWO WOMAN APPEAR TO PUT THINGS IN THE DUMPSTER WE HAD. THE HOME WAS IN BOTH OF OUR NAMES, WITH NO MORTGAGE. I DON'T AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT THEY WERE REPOSSESSING. I HAVE HAD THE HOME TRANSFERRED TO MY NAME IN A TRUST, AND SOMETHING WOULD HAVE COME UP. IN AUGUST OF 2008, THAT IS WHEN HE REALLY STARTED TO ACT DIFFERENTLY, AND WAS ADMITTED TO THE PSYCH WARD. I TOLD YOU HE LEFT E-MAILS BEHIND FROM HIS ATTY. FROM 07. IT STATED, IF I HAD THE MEDICAL RECORDS, BY VIRTUE, IF I HELD THE POA, I PROBABLY DID HAVE THEM, I WOULD NOT RECONCILE WITH HIM, I WOULD FILE FOR A DIVORCE, THAT THIS WOULD CHANGE THE REST OF HIS LIFE. ANOTHER E-MAIL-
STATED BY VIRTUE, IF HE WAS DEEMED INCOMPETENT OF A BRAIN INJURY, I WOULD KNOW THAT ALL
MONIES HAVE TO BE DISCLOSED. THAT IS WHEN I CHECKED HIS BANK STATEMENTS, AND SAW THOUSANDS
BEING WITHDRAWN FOR CASH. WHEN I FINALLY WENT BACK TO THE MEDICAL RECORD OF 6/01/07, THE AMBULANCE HAD ANOTHER PHONE NUMBER THE CALL WAS MADE, NOT THE ACTUAL PLACE WHERE MY HUSBAND WAS. THE 911 CALL CAME FROM UNIDENTIFIED MALE/ FAMILY/FRIEND.
THE ONLY REASON WHY HE SHOULD SAY, SUSPECT HE IS A PSYCHOPATH, BECAUSE HE FITS THE CRITERIA FROM ROBERT HARES' CHECKLIST. AS I BEGAN SNOOPING MORE, I FOUND A PARKING TICKET FROM MONTREAL IN 2006, NOT FAR FROM THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT OF ST. CATHERINE ST.
MY HUSBAND WOULD SAY THROUGHT THE LAST 2 YRS. THAT HE PLAYED HIS GAME TOO FAR. HE OFTEN STATED THAT IT WAS LIKE THE MOVIE"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN". IF HE DOE NOT HAVE MENTAL ISSUES,
AND IS PLAYING THIS LIKE HE HAS, HE WILL CERTAINLY GET WORN DOWN. HE IS HIDING FROM SOMETHING, AND FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN FROM ALL MEDICAL RECORDS,THERE ARE SO MANY DESCREPANCIES. ANOTHER E-MAIL FROM HIS ATTORNEY STATED, THAT IF I HAD THE RECORDS, AND TRIED TO USE THEM IN COURT, SHE WOULD BAR THEM FROM THE JUDGES CHAMBERS.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Hello Strongwill

It may help if we go back one stage further and find out about your ex’s childhood and family background and when his epilepsy was diagnosed. How did the seizures get taken over by panic attacks as they are very different things? It would have been the seizures that were investigated for diagnosis and medication for epilepsy. This must have been before you met. Do you know his parents and details of his childhood?

The symptoms you describe are not what I have any experience with and it sounds more like a psychotic disorder so I wouldn’t like to express an opinion. Panic attacks and rocking in a corner don’t seem to have anything in common with psychopathy. I understand that a person can have one or more problems at the same time but this isn’t something I’m familiar with although I do know quite a bit about epilepsy.

Do you think your ex has multiple problems?

You may feel you are coming out the other side of your problems but I do feel you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure and stress.

I hope we can help you to take a step back and take things a little slower until you are feeling a bit stronger to deal with all these issues…and there are plenty.

Regards
Jan

HI,
MY HUSBAND HAD EPILEPSY WAY BEFORE I MET HIM. IT STARTED WHEN HE WAS IN HIS TEENS. I KNEW HIS PARENTS, AND THEY WERE BOTH VERY ODD. VERY SECRETIVE, AND VERY MANIPUTLATING
PEOPLE. MY EX DOES HAVE MULTIPLE PROBLEMS. HIS DIAGNOSIS HAS MANY DIAGNOSIS-- MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH PYCHOSIS, HEAD INJURY WITH POST TRAUMATIC PYCHOSIS, PERSONALITY DISORDER,
BIPOLAR, MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH AFFECTIVE DISORDER. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE CHANGE IN CHARACTER, AFTER ALL THESE YRS. I TRULY BELIEVE, THAT HE HAS FATHERED A CHILD, FROM WHAT I SAW ON HIS PHONE BILLS AND TELEPHONE BOOK, AND IT GOT THE BEST OF HIM. AGAIN, IF HE IS PLAYING THIS OUT FOR NOT WANTING TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT, OR NOT LETTING ME KNOW, THAT IS NOT MY PROBLEM. I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE GOING IN AND OUT OF PSYCH HOSPITALS FOR 2 YRS. UNLESS THERE IS A PROBLEM.

AS FAR AS HIS CHILDHOOD, NOTHING WAS EVER BROUGHT UP ABOUT HIM. AGAIN, HIS PARENTS WERE VERY SECRETIVE, AND A WHOLE LOT OF KNOWLEDGE WAS NEVER DIVULGED. I DON'T KNOW WHY THE PAIN ATTACKS. THESE OCCURRED IN THE LAST 2 YRS., AND I WILL NEVER KNOW THE REASON.
HE IS A BIG LIABILITY, AND A LOT OF TRANFERENCE. A THOUGHT WAS, POSSIBLY, HE WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED,OR NEGLECT FROM HIS PARENTS. BUT THE BIG QUESTION, IS WHY NOW? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO TRIGGER SOMETHING HE SAW THAT WAS TRAUMATIC, AND HE IS RUNNING.

THE QUESTION YOU HAD ASKED IS WHY JAIL? HE HAD BROKEN 7 RESTRAINING ORDERS, BETWEEN MY DAUGHTER AND MYSELF. HE ALSO BROKE A CONDITION OF RELEASE FROM CRIMINAL COURT. ACCORDING TO THE PSYCHIATRISTS, HIS COGNITIVE THINKING IS NOT THERE, AND HE HAS BEHAVORIAL PROBLEMS, AND THE HYPERTENSITY. PSYCHIATRISTS CALLED IT GRAVELY DISABLED WITH NO INSIGHT.
ALL I KNOW, IS I AM ENDING THIS AS QUICKLY AS IT SHOULD GO. THE ONLY WAY HE WILL BE PUT INTO A HOSPITAL, IF HE GETS ON TITLE 19, TAKES AN ASSESSMENT MANDATED BY THE COURTS. RIGHT NOW, THEY WANT HIM TO BE HOSPITALIZED IN A FACILITY FOR 6 MONTHS, BUT SINCE THERE IS NO RECORD OF CONTINUED TREATMENT, HE MAYBE GOING TO JAIL. I KNOW HE IS A VERY SICK PERSON, WITH A LOT OF PROBLEMS. NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND(WHAT IS THAT?) WOULD CARRY THIS OUT FOR THAT LONG. ONLY HE, AND HIS FAMILY WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. THE COST WILL BE ASTONISHING. MAYBE, HIS FAMILY IS HIDING THE FACT THAT HE WAS MENTALLY ILL BEFORE I MET HIM, BUT DISGUISED IT PERFECTLY. WHO KNOWS!

Hello Exhausted,

Don't worry we are here... Day, night and indeed after work!
I remember the time I first came to this forum.. It became my lifeline..Like with a lot of us.. People around the world come here to be heared or share there feelings and thoughts. Many of them leave again and many of us stay and try to help others to survive...
You will get to know us more, like we will get to know you... And the more we know the better advise we can give. We will probably ask you a lot of questions. This is not to make you uncomfortable or anything like that, it is so we get the most clear information in order to see what we can do..Maybe it can help us think back to the time we were in the same position.
My son is now 27 years of age and is not living with me now for almost 10 years..The best 10 years of my live I may add..Like Jan, I have seen it all, been there and hope we can tell something that can be of help for you.
Just take your time and maybe this can be a place for you to relax a bit?
See you soon
Segaya

Hi Jan. My son was adopted through birth mother choice with an adoption agency. I first started noticing a difference in behavior when he was a toddler. He would be unconsolable for long periods of time when there was nothing wrong. Then he would suddenly snap out of it and be happy and cute and funny, making faces etc. I already thought I was going crazy then. He was my 6th child, so it's not like I hadn't had any experience with babies. When he got into preschool, the teachers would say he was an angel all day and then as soon as he would get off the bus, he wouldn't even make in the house before he would drop in the drive and start raging. It could be 2 hours before he was done. As he got bigger,(like 6, his rages became violent. That's when he started seeing a pediatric psychiatrist. He would push his little sister down the stairs if she was in his way. He actually beat up his older sister who was babysitting. He would throw things and put holes in the walls, he would take knives and cut anything in site, took a shovel and bashed out the van window, burned the legs of dolls on the stove, started fires on the floor of his bedroom, he had a compulsion to break glass like light bulbs and jars,painted his feces on the wall (he still does this behavior at 13). I could go on and on. I used to be able to wrap myself around him and restrain him while he had these rages so he wouldn't hurt himself and others. He would spit at anyone who came into range and threaten horrible things like, "when I get a chance I'm going to throw the baby out the upstairs window or Daddy and I are going to leave you." I would be exhausted by the end of the day when my husband came home. My son would be a sweet baby talking child to him. It was years before I could convince my husband that things were as bad as they were. Now, he doesn't care who sees him at his worst because they deserve to be treated that way because "they made him mad." He's mad nearly all the time. He can have people believing he's the nicest young man and counselors even wondering what's wrong with us. That's why we are tired of going to counselors, they don't make any difference. They tell him, "Just go to your room when you start feeling angry or take a time out." But that's not something he wants to do, he wants to continue engaging and torturing us. Or they want to come take him out for icecream and shoot some hoops and think they've made some huge difference. I've had family counselors come out to our home and ask my children if there is alot of yelling going on. Duh. There isn't any when he is in detention, it's peaceful. I had one therapist say his theory is to put down the child's family so he will be defensive of them and see the error of his ways....... The courts think he should still be in counseling, (we owe thousands of dollars for nothing.) He's been on depakote, resperdol, abilify, clonidine, zoloft, etc. At one point he was taking all of them. No difference whatsoever. Except melatonin at night. At least he has a diagnosis from one pediatric psychiatrist last year. Conduct Disorder, which from my research doesn't leave much hope. Can't believe I wrote this much, but I've only just begun. Thanks for listening.