I stumbled on this forum after reeling from another court day with my husband and his psychopathic ex-brother. I never dreamed that I would be living a life that has become the cliché of family members suing one another over money.

OVERVIEW: Dad starts a business that never makes a profit, but enough to provide a comfortable living for his family. Oldest son (my husband) works with Dad in the business. Two other siblings have nothing to do with the business. Dad dies of cancer. After Dad’s passing, oldest son learns that the business is over one million dollars in debt and is served with demands for payment on accounts in default that Dad had not paid. Rather than bankrupt the company, oldest son and his wife (me) work long days for many years to keep business going and pay off debt. After bailing out the company, we buy it from the mom (widow of Dad).

FASTFORWARD: After 24 years, the business is somewhat successful. Profits provide college scholarships within the community, we put all of our nephews through college (the children of the siblings who had nothing to do with the company), and after building the assets and purchasing the company from the now deceased mother, she was able to live a very comfortable, debt free life until she gave financial control of her assets to her youngest son.

Before she dies, mom decides she wants the business back to divide among her three kids for inheritance. With a crooked attorney, mom and the youngest son devise a plan to bankrupt the company so that he can gain control of it. With mom’s blessings, the youngest son takes out a three million dollar reverse mortgage on her home; uses money to purchase properties, takes out second mortgages on them, and lets them default. Somehow, youngest son manages to steal over five million dollars in assets. Not enough, he and the rest of the family, including some nephews that we put through college, are coming after us for ownership of our business.

DAMAGE DONE: Our immediate family remains more close knit that ever; however, our two college-age sons and our high school aged daughter are having some serious trust issues. They have no extended family other than my side of the family. They want nothing to do with the business, and they despise money. So do we, however, the business is not just about us - we have 30 employees and their families that we are responsible for. Many of whom have been with us for 10-15 years. They are our extended family.

At great expense, we have taken measures to protect the company while we continue to spend hours in court protecting our reputation and future against senseless, unfounded allegations by a psychopath, whose aim is to bankrupt us. I have not come across anything in the legal system that addresses individuals who make a career of capitalizing on loopholes in the law to harass people. In fact, I have come to see is that law has nothing to do with right or wrong; it is all in how arguments can be fitted into boxes that the judge checks off while listening to pleadings. It has nothing to do with the people who get hurt; it is all about who wins the debate in court. I ‘m weary and tired, and want it to stop, but how?

I'm so sorry. It's terrible when the court and laws do not protect the innocent. I've seen it before.

It's a shame that the dad didn't put in some sort of protection so that this couldn't happen. I wish I knew more about the legal system so that I could give you some helpful advice.

I'm glad that your immediate family is still close. That means everything.

Still, I certainly hope that you and your family can come through this with something to show for all you have been through!

Hi Suzanne, welcome to our community. It is indeed very sad what you are being put through, these days suing people seems to be in fashion.

Was your mother in her full capacity mentally when she made these decisions? You might consider contacting an elder abuse organization in your area to see if they have any resources? My sil had to contact them over her father being abused financially by her sister and found them very helpful. I see that you mentioned that your mother has passed away, how are they proceeding to try and take over the company, did they find some loopholes in the agreement when you purchased the company?

I wish I had a simple answer but to be sure and push your attorney and make sure you are being protected. Does your attorney understand the dynamics of dealing with a Psychopath? If not and if he/she doesn't seem to have any interest in how they operate I would look for the toughest, meanest attorney I could hire to fight them.

The extent that greed will rule people and then to throw a few Psychopaths into the mix must be a horrific thing for you and your family.

Di

Hi Dianne ~

Thanks for responding to my post and I apologize for the delay. We have been busy trying to catch up after all the time away from work while being dragged through court!

My mil was in questionable capacity when all this started. She was a cruel, manipulative woman to begin with, and she very much played into the situation and jumped on the bandwagon. In hindsight, I am beginning to get a better picture of how this whole thing took on a life of its own.

Six years ago, my husband was diagnosed with melanoma. It was then that we learned that melanoma is not simply skin cancer; it can present inside as well as outside the body. When I had called the brother to give him the status of my husband's health, he said, "Oh my God! Your meal ticket!". I was expecting to hear 'Oh Dear God, my brother! What can I do?' I think it was then that he began circling the wagons and trying to figure out how to get the company back, because the fact was (and still is) if something happens to my spouse, I take full ownership of the business. This is the same family business that we bailed out and subsequently bought 15 years ago. I think the thought of me owning and operating the business that their Dad started 55 years ago was something they found intolerable simply for the fact that I am not a blood relative. Am I qualified to operate this company? Yes. Presently, I am an MBA student with a specialization in finance and ethics.

With Psycho brother bending mil's ear about me getting the company, I can easily see how she played in. She never approved of our marriage- we did not ask for her permission to marry. We were both grown adults; me in my mid 20s and he in his early 30s. We needed nobody's permission. Yes, she was a control freak. In our early married years, she would attempt to engage in typical dysfunctional mil sabotaging behavior (invite hubby's old girlfriends over for dinner when we were there too - stupid, childish stuff from a 60+ year old). I called her on it and let her know that she was not going to be a controlling factor in our marriage, and if she expected to have a relationship with her grandchildren, lighten up and act her age!

From there, I think you can see that she played into Psycho son's snare. She was being financially exploited, physically isolated, and mentally worked over, but in her estimation, she was in full control of it all and the whole idea was hers. We did end up contacting the elder abuse hotline. The performed a welfare check on her and because she played into the whole jump- on-the-sue-your-oldest-son bandwagon, the report failed to show abuse. As we all know, abuse is not necessarily bruises and black eyes; it is isolation, brainwashing, and exploitation as well.

Yes, they are still proceeding with trying to take the company away, saying that the purchase transaction was fraudulent. $750K dollars changed hands. Documents were recorded, and all "family" interest was relinquished. Yes, that was real money. They are presently looking for loopholes in the purchase agreement. Funny how nobody gave a rip about the company for the first 15 years while we were working our tails off, and even after we purchased it. I think the fact that I become the sole owner if my husband passes before me is what sparked this. My spouse has been my best friend and constant companion for 24 years. No amount of money would ever replace him. We are so far past the money aspect of this.


The fact that greed seems to rule, and this Psycho has a $5million bank account proves daunting because we know it will not stop. We are Psycho's focus. We have an excellent attorney who has researched the entire thing and is positioning us to take an aggressive stance now that we are done being on the defensive end. He is well aware of the psychopathic tendencies. Apparently, Harvard Law requires a bit of study in psychology as part of obtaining a law degree. Initially, I was a psych major before going into business as well. While our attorney is not menacing looking, the devil is in the details, and he is presently picking apart every word from depositions, and mapping every financial transaction from the time Psycho got ahold of mil's checkbook.

It's tough, but we're always trying to put a positive spin on things. This has made us better business people. I have learned way more about corporate law, family trusts (revokable and irrevocable) business trusts, and asset protection and management from this than I could have ever learned in a classroom. Do I recommend this as a way to learn? NO.

I will keep you posted. This is expected to play out over the next 18 months. Our first assertive motion accusing Psycho of fraud, forgery, self-dealing, elder abuse and exploitation will be filed before Thanksgiving.

Thanks for listening. It really is therapeutic putting it all down on paper (or screen!). I love the sense of community and it is comforting to know that we are not alone in our fight. Thanks again ~

Suzanne

Hi LadyManyMoons~

Thanks for reading and responding to my post.

You bring up a very important point about the dad putting protection in place before his passing. That is one of the big kickers in this whole case. He DID have a protection plan in place. He had a trust which, upon his passing, became irrevocable. Meaning what ever was written in his will had to be carried through. That is an important component of family estate planning. A trust (as a part of one's will) becomes irrevocable the minute they die. Theoretically, it cannot be plundered. If it is, those responsible can face jail time.

Presently, we're building a case against Psycho for that very reason. If he can get away with it, then NOBODY'S trust is safe, and a Last Will and Testament mean nothing. That goes for you, me, and the rest of the world. He completely disregarded what his father put in place 22 years ago. Granted, I do not have full mastery of Family Law and Estate Planning, but I sure am getting a crash course!

As Thanksgiving rounds the corner, I still have much to be thankful for. Our kids WANT to be with us! They're bringing their boyfriends, girlfriends, friends, neighbors, etc. Heck, I'm not even cooking turkey! We're having ribs, potato salad and beans! Money cannot buy that kind of love!

Thanks again for your encouragement. It's nice to know we don't walk this bizarre path alone. The next 18 months will hopefully cut Psycho off at the knees. I'll keep you posted.

Suzanne