Hi Tangent,


I think we all have a past; I have only met a few people who had "charmed" childhoods. However, the way I see it is that as adults and away from our home situation, we have a chance to grow and learn. We can grow into professional victims or wake up and see that things aren't really working out that well and seek change.

I can only say what I would do in this type of situation. I wouldn't take a threatening fledgling psychopath or whatever the diagnosis is lightly. I would be concerned not only about my own safety but any other children in the mix. Frankly, if the adults choose to turn a blind eye, I have less patience or concern for them. Don't mean that to sound harsh but really as adults they can make choices that a child stuck in this situation doesn't have the power to do.

I would probably also give it some time to see if your partner follows through with counseling. Typically, from what I understand how it all works from my own experience there is a bailing out period for lots of people when things start hitting too close to home base.

I was raised in a truck load of conflict and chaos, and frankly, I wouldn't change things because I can't and in the end, it gave me strengths that I otherwise might not have had.

It takes a lot of work and the right counselor to work on boundaries, and anyone can do it. The question is if they are willing to make a change.

I would give them the chance to make a change, but frankly, I couldn't see myself living a happy ever after life with a person with weak boundaries and then toss in a potentially dangerous kid.

Di