Hi Mindy,

Good to see you back here!! I made it exactly 10 days last time. After that though I started over and I am now on day 15 of "no contact". It feels great, but I also struggle on occassion. He has called several times, and it is hard to just ignore the calls. I have never done that in the past. I am changing though, and getting better everyday!!

>>Well the City Prosecutor believed me and he is being charged with Domestic Violence.<<

Sounds like things are going pretty good for you. Keep coming back and let us know how the "fight" goes. Just remember keep safe -- emotionally & physically!!

betterway

Hi Betterway. . .
I was gone again and just got back this evening. . .

I am so happpppppyyyy for you. . .10 days!!! Wow girl. . .you are doing good!! I also have not spoken to P#2 for about 3 weeks. But. . .this is so weird. . .I have been dreaming about him. . .almost every night for two weeks now. Weird dreams. Hopefully these will stop soon. Today I was thinking about how P#2 starts pulling on me. I recall before we went "there". . .I began dreaming about him. Not day dreaming but night dreaming. If it continues I am going to record them. Have you experienced that?
It is good to be back.
Finished

Gotta a pattern going here. Made it 10 days the first time. Then 18 days (I was very proud of that. I even ignored 3 of his attempts at contact. Then the 4th call I answered. Weak moment. He wasn't as mean as some other times, but just talking to him is a chore these days. I know everything he says means something in his theatrical game. I had to work with myself for about 24 hours after that phone conversation to get back on track. I wanted to believe that he is changing, that maybe just maybe somehow we could be friends. Yeah, right. I was idealizing again. I wanted to call him back that evening and talk some more, but I didn't. I know what you mean about that pull they can have on us, powerful stuff. Thank God for all my friends on the forum and a supportive couselor.

I am now on day 2 and looking forward to more days with "NO CONTACT".

Glad to see you back again, finished.

betterway

Hi Betterway!

Thank you for the welcome back. . .it is good to be here, I have missed my forum friends very much.

I took a little time out to visit my family and friends and was gone about a month. I didn't realize how much I had missed out on because of my obsession with P#2. It was good to reconnect with each of them without being totally preoccupied and obsessed thinking about about P.

Good for you Betterway for making it so long with no contact. So you had a "slip". . .and now you're on your way again!

>>I had to work with myself for about 24 hours after that phone conversation to get back on track.<<

I know just what you mean. When I took the last call from P he sounded so sincere and nice. In almost one second I forgot everything I'd been through.

>>I know what you mean about that pull they can have on us, powerful stuff.<<

It's getting less though for me and it sounds like that for you also. For me I can follow it through to the place that I could never trust him ever again. There are not enough reasons to explain his behavior except for what I have learned here. I hate the reality of that but it is finally starting to penatrate.

Thanks again for the welcome back. . .it is SO good to be here!

Blessings to all.. .
finished

reading all your messages here gives me hope the way Betterway explained the phone thing it is so true

i did not realize you were all here for awhile because the date of the last messages is not showing on the main page
i just happen to reread this list and then i saw the recent date was showing only here but not on the main page

reading those last messages of no contact and failing and going on is giving me strenght

freedom

Yay!! We are back on line! I miss you all. . .how is everyone? I continue to think and pray for you all. . .
I hope to hear soon!
love to all,
finished

hi finished,
So glad we are back on line too. I'm doing okay. Keeping myself busy. I finally bought the book "Stalking the Soul", instead of having to go to the library all the time. I put it on my nightstand so I see it everyday, as a reminder of all the great stuff I have read in it. Especially the part about the target needing to take action and break free.

Take care,
betterway

Hi Betterway!

That is a great book, I have it also. I have also come to the awareness without a doubt, I have been addicted to P. As things have unfolded on my journey out of the P obsession, I found a book called "Don't Call it Love". As I read it I came face to face with the fact I was a co-addict. I was SHOCKED but could not ignore all the similarities of my behavior and the co-addict. My understanding of P behavior and personality is they usually have addictions (drugs, alchol, sex etc). I beleive I have found another piece of the puzzle in my life. Another not easy thing to deal with but now I feel I have uncovered enough pieces to have some understanding of myself and what to do about it now. I know I'm on the right track in my Twelve Step group. It keeps me focused on my own stuff.

I accidently ran into P#2 last week. He looked sooo handsome. He was all dressed up, going to a meeting. When I saw him I only felt compassion. I was a little jittery afterwards and felt a little sad but nothing, nothing like before. I had not heard or seen him since. The no contact thing REALLY, REALLY helps the emotional healing process (or it has for me). I only ask now Gods will be done in my life and He show me what I need to learn from this experience. I am learning that hurting people hurt others. Maybe as I work through my own healing I can pass along what I'm learning. That will at least make my own pain and suffering meaningful if it will help others.

I think I'm getting better (one day at a time).

It was great to hear from you! Hope to see the rest of the "gang" as well!

finished :-)

Betrayed. . .

I never see you post anymore. You were so helpful in my recovery. I think of you and your granddaughter often. If you are still checking in here from time to time, please take a minute to let me hear how you are doing. I myself have been off and on for the past couple of months. I took some time to reconnect with my family. It was a place where I really could see improvement. For the first time in years, I could be "really present" for them. I had been obsessed for so long any contact with anyone was an empty experience. My mind was constantly racing and obsessing on P.

I will always be grateful to you Betrayed. You were such an encouragement and support to me.

Bless you. . .
Finished

HELLO - HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!!

Glad to finally get back in here. Especially today. I am defintely addicted and a co-addict, too, finished.

Because of the line of work I am in, I have to have contact with some of the people occasionally from my old office. I was expecting a call from one of them, answered the phone and it was "P". Broke my "No Contact" by accident. He had made up an excuse for business purposes to call me. I was thinking about him yesterday because I wanted to call him up and say Happy Easter. But I didn't!! And don't think I would have. He asked me how I was and why I don't call anymore. The same old words out of his mouth. Then I begin to wonder if he really does care. He jokingly put down my new office. Oh well. Such is the P. wacky world. I don't want to go back. But after talking to him I get tempted to call him up to believe that I have something else I need to say to him or make him understand. Maybe just maybe it was all me and there was no reason for me to experience the excrutiating pain of the last year. I keep remembering how he denied that we had any kind of friendship during the D&D phase. Okay, want you to know that this was only temporary thinking and I am slowly getting back on the right thinking path. Thanks to everybody who has ever shared there experince, strength and hope with recovery. I will be okay, I will recover. I am working on making the P. very nuetral in my life. Don't want to care one bit about anything that has anything to do with P. I guide my thoughts that way. I visualize cutting with a chainsaw the cord that binds the P and I together in my thoughts (read about that on another site). It is a hard road of recovery, but I know with no contact I do feel better. I will let go of this last contact, and continue as if it never happened. Well, best go!
Take Care,
betterway